Zoo Boy
by WindowsDown22
Summary: He doesn't speak. He's full of fear. He's considered a hopeless case; a lost cause. It would take a miracle to cure him. Can Logan Mitchell provide that miracle?
1. A long road lies ahead

**New story. YAY!**

**Don't worry. I haven't forgotten about my others. I just really needed to write this.**

**I got this idea whilst reading another book.**

**It's an awesome book.**

**So the plot to me is going to be kind of depressing.**

**After reading this, you might start to wonder where Carlos is, you'll soon find out.**

**Oh my god, in this story I'm going to be writing Carlos as a cute eight year old.**

**It's going to be so adorable.**

**Hmmm, don't know if this will be slash yet.**

**In your reviews tell me what you want.**

**Probably no smut guys, awww:(**

**I fee like Kendall is to damaged for it.**

**But if you guys want it...**

**So yeah, that's all I have to say.**

**Read and review and favourite and alert.**

**Hope you enjoy.**

* * *

**Part 1**

**Zoo-Boy**

**Chapter 1**

**A Long Road Lies Ahead**

* * *

Zoo-Boy was what they called him. He would sit day after day, night after night, underneath a table, the legs of chairs barricaded around him like the bars of a prison cell. We stood behind a one-sided mirror, watching him with intent eyes as if he were something to be observed under a microscope. He was sickly looking, pale skin, lifeless eyes which held nothing but grief. He wore a white singlet which was grubby, many a stains littering the long ago purely white fabric. It was two sizes too big, making it hang off his lanky frame like a circus tent. His knee-length shorts were dirty as well, probably third-hand by the looks of them, holes showing more pale skin, yet opposing the singlet, they were two sizes two small riding up around his crotch.

"How old is he?" I asked, finally looking away to stare into the eyes of a much prettier sight.

"Seventeen."

My eyes widened in shock. This boy looked nowhere near to be almost a full grown man. He seemed small, frightened like that of a boy, maybe eleven or twelve at the most, but seventeen?

The social worker James Diamond looked over at me and smiled. He could tell exactly what I was thinking. James was a kind, giving man to say the least. His face gave off the gentleness of an elderly woman who baked cookies for all the little kids on her street, his eyes sweet like gum drops. Everything about him made me want to spill my deepest, darkest secrets, my every wish and desire.

A comfortable silence surrounded us, as our eyes returned to Zoo-Boy once more. He was interesting to watch. He stared straight ahead, his eyes unblinking and wide. His knees were cuddled tightly up to his chest, his arms wrapped around them as he rocked back and forth. The door opened straight ahead of him, an aide walking in. I watched with curiosity, Zoo-Boy not even flinching still staring straight ahead. The aide moving to sit just before the table. She tried prodding him, enticing him to come out from under the table. Nothing worked. Back and forth, back and forth he continued to rock as if no one sat in front of him. The aide stared up at the mirror, shaking her head before standing and exiting from the same door.

"How long has he been here?" I asked.

"Eight years," James replied.

"Without talking?"  
"Without talking."

I raised my eye-brows letting out a quiet whistle for this was quite an achievement. No talking, not a murmur or even a mere whimper to pass past his lips. I study him more, and I let out a quiet chuckle when his eyes dart up to look straight at us.

"What?" James asked. I realised from the moment I had entered this room, that everyone in here thought Zoo-Boy was stupid. And yes in some aspects he was. His IQ tested that of 38 showing that there wasn't much going on in his head, but he wasn't stupid enough to not know we weren't there. I had heard the click resound throughout the room alongside the slamming of the door as it shut behind me. Other people were of course sitting behind us watching, wondering what I was going to do. However they all probably thought he didn't know; thought that whilst they were watching him he had no clue that they resided behind this one-way mirror. But every time someone left the room that noise sounded; a clunk and then slam. It was just above audible, and each time it sounded his eyes would look up for the tiniest of moments, before returning to stare a head. He was probably counting, trying to keep track of how many people watched him.

"He knows you're here," at this James purses his lips, his arms moving to cross over his chest. Again the silence returned, as again we continued to scrutinize his every move. I was not sure how I was going to approach this, my mind reeling as I began to form a plan in my head.

"Okay, wish me luck," I said to James. His eyes remain a slight while longer, looking through the glass mirror, before he turns to me smiling.

"Good luck," he whispers. That was the first-but certainly not the last-time I see that look in his eyes. It was that of longing, longing for someone to finally help this boy break his vow of silence. He wants this more than anyone here; wanting it as to prove that what he had chosen to do with his life has its benefits. He probably decided to become a social worker in hopes of helping everyone and anyone he could. He most likely didn't think of the negatives that came along with it, that there were simply some people out there that were too far gone to be helped. I would do my best though, but from the moment I had walked in here, the feeling of dread had imbedded itself within me. This just all felt like a lost cause, and for what reasons I wasn't sure. Perhaps it was because eight years was a long time to go without even muttering that of a single noise; perhaps it was because no one else had been able to help him before me. But nevertheless I was going to try my damndest to get through to this boy. To do what I could to help him.

I grabbed my box of materials and went into the room on the other side of the mirror. I heard the click of the door in the outer corridor and I knew someone had gone into the room behind the mirror to watch as I was left me in the room, alone, with Zoo-Boy.

From behind the mirror I hadn't been able to see it all up close, how sad this scene really was. The chair legs surrounded him, locking him in like a cage. He shielded himself with his limbs as he rocked. With the way he sat, I could not truly tell what his stature would have been. He was huddled up to make himself look small, but it could be entirely the opposite.

Whatever it was that had made him life like this must've been truly horrific. To damage a human being to the point of this, I could only imagine, gruesome images coming to my mind. I shook my head, placing my box of materials on the ground. I sat down next to them, before carefully crawling over to sit in front of the table. I kneeled there for god knows how long, waiting to see if he responded at all to my presence. He never did, continuing to give me that empty stare, looking at me as if I were as transparent as the mirror that they stood behind to watch.

When I finally grew tired of waiting, my legs aching from crouching, I moved into a sitting position. My teeth bit the insides of my cheeks, trying to figure out my next move.

"Kendall," I finally spoke using his true name. He didn't respond, didn't do anything expect continue to rock, back and forth, back and forth, back and forth like a metronome swinging and swaying.

"Kendall," I again tried. _Nothing._

A click. A slam. His eyes looked up, before looking back.

Another click. Another slam. His eyes looked up before again looking back.

It was as if I could hear his brain whirling around, counting the clicks, knowing how many people were either moving into the room or leaving.

"Kendall, my name is Logan, Logan Mitchell. Did Mr Diamond tell you I was coming to see you today?" _nothing._

"Well that's why I'm here Kendall. Because Mr Diamond asked me to come here. He thought we could spend some time together, because I help people like you Kendall…" _Still zilch._

"I help people who have a difficulty with speaking."

I was becoming a little wary of what to do. I had never worked with someone who refused to actually acknowledge my existence before. All the people I had worked with had at least looked at me every once again, but Kendall just stared right through me. It was rather eerie as well, as if he truly didn't know I was there.

"Can I join you, under there?" I asked. It looked cramped with Kendall under there alone, but I felt if I could simply make a connection with him it might be okay. It would at least give me some form of progress, and how could I make a connection when he sat behind those protective barriers, shielding him from any form of interaction I was offering.

"You just have to nod to me, if I am able to join you. I'm small, so I promise I won't take up too much room," I let out a weak chortle, but he doesn't do anything. It's as if I am a ghost. I decide to be brave, bold and move to scoot in close to him.

_Big mistake._

The moment I try to enter his territory, his eyes bulged out of his head, his nostrils flared wide as his breathing became deep and heavy. It was like I had walked into the terrain of a mother lion who would do anything to protect her cubs, even if that meant to kill. He went off like an explosive bomb, with fury and power. He jumped up his shoulder banging against the table knocking it over, consequently making the chairs fall to the ground with a loud clatter also. He began to run around the room, arms up in the as he waved them around frantically. His mouth was open, but no words were coming out. It was just open in an 'O' shape emitting what could only be described as silent screams.

I heard the doors open as the medics on staff rushed forward, needles at the ready to subdue him.

"No!" I shouted out. They stopped as I held them back.

Kendall made his move, grabbing my box of materials and throwing them at me. I ducked as they hit the wall with a bang, glad that I hadn't been hit by them. The medical team were again trying to make a move, but I quickly got up holding them back.

"Stop!" I hissed at them.

Kendall was standing on the other side of the room, pacing to and fro, his hands running through his blond locks, his mouth still open wide. I could tell he was still looking for things to throw but there was nothing else on that side of the room, and he was too scared to approach us. I gently move towards the table, setting it back up how he had it. I could see he was watching me out of the corner of his eyes, though that crazy vibe never left him. I set up the tables and chairs, before carefully moving back to place myself against the wall. I then ushered all others out of the room, for in that time Kendall had settled down slightly, his pacing less panicky, his demeanour only marginally serener, but enough to not need needles with whatever drugs placed within them, shoved into wherever the medics could get them.

When the door was shut leaving me alone with Kendall, I stood closely against the wall. I waited for him, before he quickly scuttled like a crab across the seas floor to get back under the table. He continued to rock at pace, tears now welling up in his eyes.

I didn't know what to do now, so I decided to move ever so tenderly to pick up my belongings. I watched him the entire time, for any sign that I was threatening him but those never came. He was back to staring straight in front of him, like no one else was in the room.

When I had picked up everything that was mine, I moved back to stand against the wall. I frowned, wondering if I should give up for the day, for what else was there really to do. Instead I moved forward once more to be sitting about a metre away from where he resided underneath the table. I pulled out a book from my box, keeping my eyes upon him as I opened it to the first page.

"Chapter one: what lies ahead of us," I read aloud, my eyes darting up to see if he was paying attention at least. _Nothing._ I continued to read aloud, and read and read and read. I sat there for just over half an hour, before it happened. I looked up as I had been doing throughout the entire reading session to see him looking at me. Actually looking me. He wasn't staring straight through me as if I wasn't there. He could see me. I almost dropped the book in amazement, but managed to only just keep my grasp on it. I wasn't sure what to do, other than to keep reading. When I did though, I could feel him moving. He was moving closer toward me. I then felt his hand on the cusp of my sleeve. I looked up and he jerked back, scurrying to be back right against the wall, hiding in the shadows.

"I-It's okay," I said, moving only slightly closer, not to close to set him off again.

"I'm not going to hurt you, is that what you're afraid of, that I'm going to hurt you. Because I promise that I would never do that, cross my heart," I did with a flick of my wrist, making a crossing gesture over my chest.

He didn't move forward again, staying back against the cold wall, but he began to make gestures with his hands. I tried to follow them as best I could, but they made no sense. I knew they weren't sign language, for I knew sign language. Perhaps they were his own form of language which he had made up. Nonetheless he continued to get frustrated for I wasn't getting it. His face turned red like a tomato, as he would make the gestures with his hands, wait for me to get it, and when I didn't he would repeat them all over again.

"I don't understand Kendall. Why don't you try telling me huh, one word won't hurt you," it was at that that he gave up.

When the jingle of keys in the lock, and the door knob turning came, he was back to his former self, rocking, his knees pulled up against his chest.

"Times up," I heard. I don't immediately move, turning back to Kendall.

"I'll be back tomorrow okay," he didn't reply, but I wasn't sure whether I cared or not. All that mattered was that with our first meeting, we had made progress. So I left the room with a sense of accomplishment upon me. Perhaps he wasn't a lost cause after all. He was simply going to be a lot of work.

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**Loved it? Hated it? Review it?**

_Question: What do you think Logan does for a living? I want to know if I made it obvious or not? Ohhh and any ideas as to what is up with Kendall?_

**Thanks to all those who have read this, it means a lot.**

**Yours Sincerely**

_WindowsDown22_


	2. Wish, pray, don't we all

**Wow guys, just wow.**

**17 reviews, 19 follows and 10 favs you guys are awesome.**

**Not to mention like 136 views and 92 visits. **

**I love that knew thing on fanfiction that allows you to see how many people are visiting your stories.**

**It=awesome.**

**The book is called Murphy's boy for those who asked by the way.**

**Hopefully Carlos next chapter.**

**Don't know yet.**

**And yeah, I'm just not feeling Kogan slash in this story.**

**It's so weird because I love Kogan, but yeah definitely not feeling it.**

**Maybe I'll change my mind as the story progresses.**

**Who knows?**

**Guys I've just noticed this as a trend in like all my stories, but I get fewer reviews with each chapter. **

**I always thought it would get more as the story moves forward, but apparently not.**

**Please keep reviewing.**

**It's what keeps me going.**

**Also, have a lot of school work right now, so probably no updates on any of my stories for the next week or two. Sorry.**

**Okay onward fellow rushers.**

* * *

**Zoo-Boy**

**Chapter 2**

**Wish, Pray, Don't we all.**

**Thanks to** _CMG, DeathlyHallowsHP7, PerfectMirror14, GhostGirl51, Josie Johns, kat4543, EverlastingRusher, CaitiePaigee, Evix, Chellie25, Carphanie, I Love KL, yaoilover6969, Somebody You May Know, KoganBromance01, Xbigtimerusherx, Xavier Julius, winterschild11, taystwin-14 and Just Fetching, lilygirl42001, ToriShadeHarper, Chew-a-Straw, Breakfree, SpidermanInPlaid and Ozelot is a Logienator _**for all of you lovely favs, alerts and reviews. They mean the world to me so keep them coming.**

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For a little over a year now I had been working as a research psychologist at the clinic. Before this I had been teacher. I had taught in many different positions, from teaching graduate level university students to teaching students at a state mental institution in a locked classroom. I loved teaching, I really did but I soon began to feel out of my depths I guess you could say. I don't know what started it, but I soon felt lost in the teaching world, so I decided on a whim and moved from my hometown. I just uped and moved away, as I tried to decide what I really wanted to do with my life. Throughout my career as a teacher, I had been looking into research on elective mutism. It was something that held my interest, for what reasons I did not know. This is an emotional disturbance, occurring mostly in children. The child is physically capable of speaking, but for still unknown psychological reasons, they refuse to do so. Thus when I saw an advertisement for a child psychologist, I took the opportunity at hand, leading me to work at the clinic.

The position held my interest, and after a few months had passed by, I thought that perhaps this line of work was for me. I had children, many different children whom I worked with. I would see them a couple of times a week, work with them, trying to get them to speak. I worked with them in hopes that one day they could live out in the real world, in normal civilisation where they could speak freely without worry.

There I had a lot of advantages. I was finally around adults again, instead of snotty nosed children. I was around people who were well educated and could hold up good conversation. I could wear what I wanted. I didn't have to wear loose clothes that allowed me to move freely in, in case some child decided to try and escape from my grasps. There were also great facilities, my office being a large, sunlit therapy room with brand new equipment and toys at my disposal. I also had a good salary. So all in all, this left me happy enough.

Then I met Zoo-Boy.

James had called me up one day, having heard of my research into elective mutism. He thought I could help him, but right from the start it had sounded like a dead-beat case. His name was Kendall Knight and he had gone eight years without talking. Eight years. I had never worked with someone whom had gone without speaking for so long, but that was not all.

As James told me all about Kendall, I was immediately rubbing at my temples. This case sounded most difficult. Kendall had been at the state mental institution for eight years now. Parental rights were given up at the age of nine and he had been locked away ever since. He had never left the insides of the state mental institution otherwise known as the Palmwoods. He spent every waking hour, huddled underneath table, guarded by chair legs which are what had earned him his nickname. There he lived in his self-built cage. Zoo Boy.

According to Kendall's records which were scarce to say the least, Kendall had never spoken at school when he attended. He had talked at home, but then he just stopped. No one could say exactly why he stopped talking.

What were most apparent though were his fears. His life was controlled by his fears. He feared spoons, door hinges, dogs, darkness, water. It kept him from living his life, not that there was much of a life to live without the power of speech anyway. What was most gut-wrenching was that Kendall couldn't bathe. With his fear of water, he couldn't even take a bath. The smell was horrendous, but what could I do about it. The kid refused to be near water, for what reasons I was not sure. It was Kendall's fears that trapped him, trapped him in a far more secure prison than tables and chairs could ever provide. At the Palmwoods, they only took children up to the age of eighteen, for they were no longer considered a child after that. Kendall was seventeen. His birthday was in a few months, and James had begged me; pleaded me to cure him before his time at the Palmwoods was up. For if Kendall was not cured who knew what would happen to him. He had no family, no money, and no hope.

He really was a lost cause. He had a lousy past from the sounds of it, there was barely any useful data recorded about him in the Palmwoods files. There was enough for me to gather what his life must've been like. There was information about his school failures, many trips to the hospital with broken arms, large cuts, bruises and more, financial troubles, marital problems, alongside the fact that his family had willingly given him over to state custody. Not even his own family wanted him?

I didn't want this case, but James was desperate, and no one else was going to do it. How could I live with myself knowing that I had given up on this kid, just like everyone else had? That was why I agreed to it. I was going to try my best to help him, whether I managed to or not. I could only hope for the former of these.

* * *

After my first visit, I was definitely proud of Kendall's accomplishment. When I had talked to James afterwards he had shrugged, saying it was definitely progress, but I could see in his eyes that he was desperate for more.

"How long have you been here for?" I asked him. He turned to me with a sigh.

"Four years," he then turned back to looking through the mirror. "You know," he spoke without looking at me, "When I came here, no one could tell me a thing about him. Some of the workers didn't even know his name. I tried to get through to him, but nothing seemed to work and after a while I just-I had other work. I have other children. I couldn't just keep coming back to him, neglecting my other duties," I could see how passionate about helping people he was. His eyes showed such guilt, yet he probably did more than anyone else ever had.

"Hey," I spoke calmly, putting my hand on his shoulder comfortingly.

"You don't have to explain yourself to me. You did what you could. You probably did a hell of a lot more than anyone else has. And you never gave up on him. I mean you're still here aren't you, trying to help him. And you called me didn't you," James frowned, sighing before forcing a smile onto his face.

"Yeah I guess-I just-I just wish there was more I could do."

I turned to look back at Kendall, the lost child still rocking, counting the clicks as someone entered or left.

"Don't we all," I sighed.

* * *

I continued to come back to visit Kendall. I hoped for more of what had happened in our first session, but he seemed more reclusive now. He stayed hidden underneath his table. I kept reading to him. I would bring different books to read each time as to give him a variety of things to hear. He did not act out again, but after the first week of this I was beginning to feel as if it had all been a fluke.

"Kendall, can you hear me," he had gone back to staring right through me, acting as if I did not exist.

"Okay Kendall, I want you to really listen to me okay, and I mean really listen all right. I need you to nod if you understand me," I saw his eyes flicker towards me, before they left again so fast it was barely as if it had even happened. Then a tiny nod of his head came. I let out a shaky breath, happy to get even the slightest of reactions out of him.

"Okay Kendall, that was really good. You hear me, that was really, really good okay, now I want you to do something for me, would you do something for me?" I asked rather hesitantly. He didn't immediately respond, but I soon got a mere shake of the head. He had refused me.

"That's okay, maybe tomorrow huh?" He was now making weird gestures again, which I couldn't seem to grasp the hang of. He was trying to communicate with me, getting rather agitated when I didn't get what he was trying to say.

"Kendall, I can't understand what you're trying to say okay. What you're doing doesn't make sense," he let out a silent huff, his arms moving to fold over his chest, his twisting up to pout in annoyance. It was actually kind of cute when I thought about it.

"Here, can I please join you under here," I hadn't been brave enough to try this again, for the first attempt had ended in disaster, but I needed to be able to be closer to him. It was important to help him, to make him better. His eyes studied me curiously, before he moved ever so slightly to his left. I took this to mean yes, as I quickly and quietly slid underneath the table. It was cramped under here, and I had to hunch over which hurt my shoulders. I hadn't noticed before but Kendall was bent quiet awkwardly under here, and now that I was so close to him, I could see that he was indeed a lot taller than I had expected. We sat in silence for a few moments, before I decided that this was the best time to take action. I moved without thinking, hastily stretching my arm out to grab the book we had been reading. I moved to quickly startling Kendall, as he almost jumped out of his skin. I retracted my arm, trying not to make any sudden movements. I thought it would be all right, until Kendall let out a silent screech, his mouth open wide. His hands moved up to start slapping himself across the face. It was hard, for I could hear the sound of skin on skin resonating underneath the table, his cheeks now cheery red with hand prints almost showing.

"Kendall, it's okay," I tried, reaching out to touch him which I knew I shouldn't have done. When someone is in this state, the first rule is to get out of the way and not make any sudden movements to scare them. I wasn't thinking though, Kendall immediately flinching from me, scampering to have a slight distance between us. That was when I saw the yellow puddle that stained the white tile. He had wet himself.

I looked up to see he was still hitting himself across the cheeks, his eyes leaking tears profusely.

"Kendall, it's okay, it's okay," I cooed, hoping it would sooth him and somehow it managed to. He kept hitting himself only slightly until he stopped all together looking up me with wide, tear-filled eyes.

"It's okay. It's nothing to worry about. We'll get someone in here to clean it up okay. It's okay all right, but what's not okay is you staying in those pants is it? Why don't we go to your room and get you changed."

I moved out from under the table, before I held out a hand and I waited for Kendall to take it. I was going to wait, until he took my damned hand even if it took all freaking night. After five minutes of waiting, Kendall finally pursed his lips together, and tentatively reached forward. He grasped onto my hand, and I pulled him out from under the table. I could see the stain on his crotch, which made me sigh. What made me sigh more was the fact that Kendall looked like he was going to try and run. He began to try and wrench his hand away from me, trying to get himself back under the table but I held strong.

"It's okay," I said soothingly.

"Ssh okay, I just want to get you changed," he stopped trying to get away, simply holding to my hand tightly that I was afraid of losing circulation to it, but I didn't care. I then began to lead him out of the room, towards his own space of living.

I knew where his room resided, so I lead him there. When we got inside, Kendall quickly flung his hand away from mine running in and darting to hide underneath his bed. I let him stay there, for I wanted to have a bit of a look around. Try and find out a little more about him. His room was what would be expected of someone who lived in a place like this. There was a single bed that lay in the middle of the room, bare walls that were blaringly white surrounding it. There were few desk drawers, but when I looked inside them there was barely anything. A few items of clothing provided by the state but there was not much else. I grabbed a pair of shockingly orange pants, before scooting to be lying on my stomach so I could see Kendall under his bed.

"Kendall, we need to change you," he lay in the foetal position on his side, rocking this way, his eyes blurry from the tears that were still streaming down his face.

"Come on Kendall, you need to get changed out of those pants, come on it's all right, just come out, I'm not going to hurt you," I don't know how I managed to do it, but he slowly removed himself from under the bed. I gave him the pants to change into, but he shook his head.

"Come on Ken, you can't stay in those pants once you've peed yourself, you need to change."

When he didn't move to do so, I grumbled before taking the pants myself and making him sit on the bed. I stripped him of his bottoms, quickly sticking the new pair of pants back on. He didn't seem to struggle, but I was just glad to get him out of his dirty drawers.

"See that wasn't so hard was it," there was no reply.

"It's nothing to be ashamed of. It happens sometimes, okay. Now would you like to come back to the other room so we can read more, or would you like to stay here?" Kendall quickly moved like lighting to be back underneath his bed.

I sighed my head moving to my hands.

"Okay, well I'll see you tomorrow," I called out, moving up off the bed and to the door. I would alert the staff to where he was and then leave, hoping that tomorrow would be a better day. After all that was everyone truly hoped for wasn't it. For tomorrow to be a better day.

* * *

**Love it? Hate it? Review it?**

_Question; One lovely reviewer said something that made me think yeah… so question do you think that there should be Jagan Slash. It won't take away from the main characters of Kendall/Logan but are you feeling the Jagany vibes. I'm kind of feeling like I am, but yeah Jagan. What do you think? And what do you think should happen in the story if Jagan is to happen? Did that make sense. I don't know but please answer._

**Yours Sincerely**

_WindowsDown22_


	3. Difficulties are placed

**Haha, I said I wouldn't update for a few weeks but I did this for all of you guys.**

**Wow guys, I love you all.**

**Just wow, I mean the reviews and alerts and favs.**

**Just I love you, all so much.**

**Carlos is introduced. I tried to make him cute. **

**I wonder if I succeeded or failed.**

**Tell me whether I did or not, it's always good to know.**

**This story is like my baby.**

**I mean seriously, I love writing it, and I just…I LOVE IT!**

**Okay so keep on keeping on.**

* * *

**Zoo Boy**

**Chapter 3**

**Difficulties Are Placed, In Hopes we overcome**

**Thanks to** winterschild11, fangfan1, Xbigtimerusherx, yaoilover6969, XaivierJulius, LoveSparkle, .fate, ToriShadeHarper, RushersRuleTheWorld97, I Love KL, Carphanie, Kat4543, Breakfree, GhostGirl51, SassyLadyStriking, Erin G. Allen, Guest, Cookie Monster Giggles, lilygirl42001, mizukilen, jazdemort, shannonrosario99, dan-luver93, maceyrenee, Morte Giver **and **LaurenBlack13 **for all of your favs, reviews and alerts. They're what keep me going, so keep them coming.**

* * *

Progress was becoming increasingly difficult when it came to Kendall. Over a month had passed but there still was not anything to suggest that Kendall was getting any better. It was draining, to go back to the institute every day, and to do the same thing every day, but to not have anything to show for it. Kendall still hid under the tables, cowering away from me in absolute terror. He still wouldn't speak, and his fears still seemingly controlled him.

I read, day after day. Many a books I went through trying to discover, if Kendall actually liked me reading to him. In a way it was the only way that would lead me to believe I had a chance of communicating with him. I just kept reading, day after day. Then it happened. The first time it had happened, I had nearly screamed in delight. Ever since I had cleaned Kendall up after his accident, he had refused to let me back under his table. He would immediately put up a fuss, kicking and scratching but never making a noise, if I even dared try. After ending up with fingernail marks dug into my arms, and bruises upon my torso and shins, I had given up trying to get closer to Kendall. I played the waiting game, hoping that he would eventually come to me and accept me back into his isolated prison.

It was one day things had simply changed. I don't know why they did, and I don't know why he chose that day of all days, but things had just…_changed. _There wasn't any sort of build-up to it, there hadn't been any signs that today would be different, but it was, and it led me to feel something that I hadn't felt during my time with Kendall. I had felt that there was finally some sought of hope.

I had come into the usual room, equipped with a new book to read. He had been under his table as usual, rocking back and forth. I sighed, wondering if today would be the day I made a break through. It was what I thought of every day I came into this room; hoping, praying that today would be the day, but I always came up sorely disappointed. I sat in front of the table, the hard cold ground hurting my knees. I didn't show any signs of that though, my focus on Kendall.

To start off with I had read, as I normally did. There was no difference in the air; it was just what always happened. Soon enough I felt him approaching me, moving inch by inch closer until he was almost right by my side. I hadn't fluctuated in pitch, or stopped what I was doing. I had simply allowed him to come closer and closer, until he was right at my side. Something I had picked whilst being a teacher was to follow along the book with my finger as I read. I had never gotten rid of that habit, so that was what I was doing as Kendall sat up against me. I could actually the heat radiating off of his body, almost being able to feel his hot breath against my cheek. I kept on reading, until his hand moved and he was touching my own.

I looked up to look into his emerald eyes, and he immediately flinched away moving to be back under the table. He was rocking more furiously now, and I thought another episode was about to occur, but I held my ground. He had done that for a reason, and I was simply going to forget about it.

"Kendall, don't be scared okay," I spoke softly, before I moved to go underneath the table. I had expected him to put up a fuss, just like every other day, but today he didn't. He let me underneath the table, where I again sat hunched over, my shoulders hurting as they were placed against the hard wooden table-top.

I began to read again, my voice supple and angelic as to not frighten him. I began to read, and again I felt his hand move to touch mine. This time I didn't make the same mistake. Instead of looking up at him I read on. It was much harder to restrain myself from moving my fingers along with the pace of my reading than I thought it would be, but Kendall's hand was clamped hard down on mine, not allowing my wrist free movement. I eventually found myself getting annoyed by this, so I moved my hand to grip his, twisting his grasp around so that I was the one holding his hand. I then forced his index finger out, pushing it along so that he was following along where I was reading.

This went on for the rest of the time with Kendall until the very last moments, just before the aide came in to tell me that it was time to leave. He grasped my hand with a vice-like grip, making me turn towards him. As I did this I saw it. I saw his mouth move. He wasn't emitting any noise, but his mouth was open. As I watched him more closely I realised what he was doing. He was mouthing the words upon the page. This was a good thing because it meant progress towards talking; maybe not actually making sound but he had his lips moving. And then of course there is the fact that it meant he could read. Sure we weren't reading the most intellectual of books, but it most definitely meant he could read.

"Times up," I heard the deep voice come. I didn't want my time to end with Kendall. We were so close, but I only had a certain amount of time with him each day. Only an hour and I couldn't go past that.

"Tomorrow Kendall," I said, squeezing his hand, moving to stand up and get out from under the table. He clung on to me trying to get me to stay under the table with him, but once I got out from under the wooden cage, he didn't follow me. He simply sat there, watching as I left the room closing the door with a loud slam.

* * *

That day meant a lot to me in the perspective of things. It had been a bad month with nothing seeming to work with Kendall, and then some of my other cases that I was researching for. I had a lot of work on and so little time. Then there was the fact that my boyfriend had broken up with me. We hadn't been together long. Seven months and a month ago we had decided to move in together. I should've seen that it wasn't working. With the long hours I had we barely saw each other anymore. Nonetheless I was still upset by it. I had come home one night, expecting to be met with a cold dinner on the table for this was what happened a lot of the time now, as I was working overtime. Instead there was nothing. All of his things were moved out, and all that was left of his presence was a measly note.

_Sorry, it's just not working out._

I had felt betrayed, saddened, angered by this occurrence. The least he could do was explain things to me face to face, but a note was all that was left of him. It was like I had been living alone the entire time, nothing left to remember him by.

It had ultimately been a shitty month, and the progress with Kendall led me to feeling a little bit lighter than before, my mood not as sombre.

What I wasn't looking forward to was another commitment that I had made. A woman at the clinic, Jo Taylor had coerced me into joining a program that she was running. A big brother/ little brother program. I had enough to do as it was, but she was extremely persuasive and I hated letting people down.

On a Tuesday night I went down to the city's community centre, to pick up my little brother. I only knew his name and age and that was Carlos Garcia, an eight year old child. I would learn more about him when I arrived there, Jo had said, not really bothering to say much more. I got out of my car once I was there, entering the city community centre. There were many other people there, adults running after children, children being cheeky and trying to escape their grasps. I saw Jo running around like a mad woman, papers in hand as she tried to match bigs up with their littles.

"Over there," she spoke hurriedly, pointing to a small boy with a helmet upon his head. I watched him curiously as he patted the black shiny helmet before running at a wall. There was a loud bang that barely anyone noticed amongst the chaos but nonetheless Carlos stood up wobbling a little before moving to repeat what he had just done before. I quickly ran over to stop him, putting my hands on his shoulders .

"Hey there?" I said awkwardly holding on to him tightly, trying to stop him from escaping to ram himself into the wall once again.

"You know, you could seriously hurt yourself doing that," the boy folded his arms over his chest, his lips jutting out into a cute little pout.

"Na-ah, I have my helmet on, and it will always protect me. He's ma best friend," the boy said, patting the helmet once more, an adorning expression appearing over his face.

I had no idea what I was going to do with this boy. A best friend for a helmet, how absurd. I didn't say anything though, smiling at the remark.

"Well, that's awesome," I tried to say enthusiastically but I wasn't sure if Carlos truly believed me or not.

"So, your ma big brother," he said, his eyes narrowing. He looked a little angry, for what reasons I had no idea.

"Sure am, I'm Logan Mitchell. What's your name?"

"Carlos," all of a sudden this kid was acting shy, his chin moving to rest against his chest, his head hung low.

Then without warning his head snapped back up, and he was looking me straight in the eyes, his gaze not wavering.

"Did ya know, I have a big brother. His name is Ramon and he's so cool. This one time, this kid called me stupid and I told him that Ramon-that's my big brother-was going to come and beat them up if they didn't take it back, and they took it back, because they were scared. Do you ever get scared? I don't at all. I'm real brave, I don't even sleep with a night light anymore. Do you sleep with a night light?"

I listened to this kid continue to ramble on, coming up with new questions to ask me, completely changing the subject within the blink of an eyes.

"Are you going to beat people up for me like Ramon does?" at this Carlos is again acting shy. I wonder what is up with him, but I don't have time to ask as Jo made her way over.

"Well I'm glad you guys have been introduced. I hope everything's going well," I looked up at Jo and then back to Carlos, wondering if this relationship was ever going to work out. The kid was full of such energy but could drop that immediately to become this shy acting child.

"You know what," I said, rubbing Carlos shoulders, "I think we're going to do just fine," Carlos smiled clapping his hands jumping up and down on the spot. The goofy grin that was plastered across his face was enough to have me smiling as well. Sure it may be difficult, but my entire life was full of difficulties. It just one more thing that I was shoved upon me, that I would simply have to overcome.

* * *

Spending time with Carlos was exerting me of all energy. He was just a ball full of it. I sometimes couldn't control him from doing stupid things, stunts that could leave him seriously injured. I normally just took him over to my house for afternoons we were meant to spend together. It was twice a week, and it was absolutely exhausting. One time he wore a cape and tried to jump off my roof. I had caught him just before doing so, as he was hollering calling himself 'El hombre de flaming space rock man.' I had told him to get down this instance, and he had been cheeky, stepping forward slightly further, the more I told him not to. When he was finally on the edge, I yelling at him so loud that some of the neighbours were coming out of their houses to see what was causing this raucous. He hadn't jumped of but instead had slipped. I was thankful that it was that bigger drop and he had landed in the garden. It had left him with a few sprains, bruises and a fractured wrist. I had thought that his parents would put up a fight about, but they hadn't said anything. Jo didn't even know about it, until I brought it up one weekend at the clinic.

Kendall was most definitely getting better. He allowed me under his table whenever I saw him now. I would enter our room and crawl under the table next to him as he made room for me. We would read mostly, and he continued to do what he had done that one day. He would mouth along with the words I spoke; not actually speaking, but his mouth was open, mouthing out the words along with me.

I began to want to spend more time with Kendall. I had other cases to be working on, but I found my thoughts drifting towards him the most. It was his past that concerned me or lack of it to be precise. The records barely spoke of Kendall's childhood. It told me that his mother was the one to give up custody of him. Kendall's father wasn't in the picture, and no one had been able to find him. It talked of his step-father and only a bit about the abuse the Kendall was victim of. As I searched and searched, a little more digging through any information that I could find, things began to open up about Kendall's past. He had had a sister Katie. It didn't talk much of her, but what I found interesting was that there were no signs of abuse, nothing like that of the signs upon Kendall.

I was walking down the hall, to go to mine and Kendall's room. I was running a bit late because of one my other cases, a seven year old girl named Wisteria, had finally started to talk. It was only the slightest of words mumbled, but I needed to keep working with her. I had called James to let him know. What I hadn't been expecting when I finally arrived was my name to be shouted in a frenzied manner, "Logan! Logan!" My name was shouted. I turned to see James rushing towards me. He was frantic, and I could see the panic-stricken look that was plastered across his face. I knew something was wrong immediately. I ran towards him, coming to a halt just in front of him.

"What is it? Is Kendall okay?" I huffed out.

"No, something's wrong? I don't know but he's won't come out from under his bed and any time someone tries to come near him…"

"He's had episodes like this before hasn't he," I thought remembering back to when I had first met him.

"Yes but the thing is, he has a weapon?"

"A weapon?" I honestly couldn't believe it. How had he gotten a weapon into this place?

"It's like a homemade knife. I don't know where he got it from. I think he might've taken bits from the metal on his bed and sharpened it, but I just-"

I didn't let James finish, as I rushed to Kendall's room. I immediately saw the medical staff there, armed with their needles. I could just see tufts of dirty blonde hair, poking out from underneath Kendall's bed.

"Jesus," I whisper.

I can see the glint of metal, every time someone tries to go near him; it comes out swiping through the air. It indeed looks sharp. I run a plan through my head before moving to hold my hands out to the medic staff.

"Back up please, so you don't scare him," I hiss at them.

I had come to know a lot of the medical staff over my time spent here. They were sometimes needed when Kendall had a fit, which wasn't very often but I also talked to them, when I had a coffee down in the staffroom.

They back up as I said.

"Why is he acting like this?" I asked the staff.

"We don't know. James was telling him you were going to be a little late today, and he began to have one of his episodes. I don't know when he pulled out this knife but-"

"Kendall?" I said soothingly, moving quietly and slowly into a crouching position. He was shivering from what I could see as if he had been shoved into an ice-cold bath of some sort.

"Kendall, it's me Logan, is everything okay," he shook his head.

"Well look, I'm here now okay, so I need you to give me the knife all right?"

He hugged it closer towards him, not letting me get closer towards it.

"It's okay, I just don't want you to hurt anyone okay, so just give me the knife and it will all be all right?"

I could see his mind whirling. He was beginning to think and I could see the indecision within him.

"It's okay," I said, holding my hand out shakily.

"Just give me the knife and it will all be okay."

It happened so quickly. The knife was so thrown aside and then he had flung himself at me. He was in my arms crying, but no noise could be heard. I felt him go limp within my arms, the needle being placed into him. He was being dragged away, and all I could do was watch as the medic staff did this. I shuddered looking towards the knife which lay upon the ground. It looked just like an ordinary piece of metal, which had been sharpened at the end. I was curious as to how he did it, but that was then placed within that back of mind as I began to wonder if Kendall was truly dangerous. I decided then and there that this was just going to be another thing to overcome. I wasn't going to give up on him, for the term giving up was not a term that was within my vocabulary.

* * *

**Love it? Hate it? Review it?**

_Question: Carlos is adorable is he not?_

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	4. Breakthrough to what you're thinking

**As you know, I love all of you.**

**Chapters are getting longer, I hope everyone likes this.**

**No Carlos in this chapter awww!**

**But lots of Kogan and I'm starting to feel Slash**

**Haha, I change my mind so much.**

**Hope you guys enjoy!**

* * *

**Zoo Boy**

**Chapter 4**

**Breakthrough To What You're Thinking**

**Thanks to **_winterschild11, Cookie Monster Giggles, RushersRuleTheWorld97, __22random ninja22__, __Xbigtimerusherx__, __Erin G. Allen__, __SpidermanInPlaid__, __taystwin-14__, __lilygirl42001__, LoveSparkle, __mizukilen__, __ToriShadeHarper__, __Carphanie__, __kat4543__, __GhostGirl51__, __I Love KL__, __DeathlyHallowsHP7__, __BreakFree__, WormBooks, xxEmoRainbowxxLunarFairyPrin cess1989, raych-btr, Dymondthomas14, princesstizza, Magieniejuju, daisyforyou, walk in the sunshine, and To Old To Die Young_** for all of your favs, alerts and reviews.**

* * *

After the knife incident, I became aware that I truly didn't know Kendall as well as I had thought. I had been working with him for just over a month now and what had I truly learnt. I still knew almost nothing of his past, where his elective mutism had started, why it had started. There were so many questions that needed to be answered, and I was getting nowhere into actually being able to answer them. I wasn't able to go back and see Kendall for three days, for those three days he was kept in seclusion for what he had done. When I was finally allowed to see him, we were back to square one. It seemed rather repetitive when I thought about it. Twice now I had been back to not being able to be under the table with him, which when I thought about it was where I really needed to be.

I went to the hospital, with all intentions of being calm, thoughtful and being absolutely collected. That was what I always did with patients, for it had always been the best method to use. Stay composed and relaxed; when they want to they'll come to you. It had always worked for me. When it came to most cases of selective mutism they would stop talking because they were scared, perhaps because of some form of abuse-that being the reason in most cases-so if you showed them you weren't going to hurt them, they usually began to open up. Sometimes it took weeks, months even but eventually it worked. That was my method of choice with Kendall, for it had more success than not. _Let him come to you,_ I told myself over and over again, even though it was becoming hard to just sit back and not do anything. The knife incident had really shaken me. I wasn't sure what to think anymore, but it was my every intention before walking into that therapy room to be tranquil and wholeheartedly unperturbed.

I went into our therapy room; Kendall huddled under the table once more. I sat down in front of him, pulling out my book to read but then I began to think this just really isn't working. I snapped the book shut forcefully, the loud bang disturbing the eerie silence that hung over the room. I stared right into his eyes. He wasn't staring straight through me this time, instead looking at the ground; his head hung low like a child who knew they had done wrong.

"Why did you do it? Why on earth would you have a knife like that?" he didn't look up, so I moved forward not caring if he didn't like it.

"What were you thinking Kendall?" I wasn't yelling, but my voice wasn't exactly quiet either. He wasn't looking up at me, so I grabbed his chin pushing him face up so I was looking directly into his eyes.

"Tell me why you did it?" He was beginning to become clammy. I could see the sweat starting to dribble down his forehead, his face turning red like a tomato. I didn't let up though. I wanted to know why he would be stupid.

"Tell me why you did it?" my voice was a lot lower this time, almost deadly if I thought about it. I didn't know why I was reacting this way, for I had simply come in here to read him but now something inside of me was taking over. It was like I wasn't even me anymore.

"Kendall, tell me," he went to turn his face away, but I turned it back rather harshly. I could see he didn't like the closeness, didn't like how I was touching him but that something inside of me had me not wanting to let go.

I heard a tap at the window which brought me out of this haze I guessed I would call it. I quickly let him go, moving out from under the table. He cowered back against the wall, but not in fear. He was still looking at me; his eyes didn't show that he was frightened. I myself was the one who was scared. I quickly turned and left the room, falling back against the door. I slid down the cold metal, immediately bringing my knees up to my chest.

"What was that!" I heard a door snap open, and then James voice. "You can't go around like that. I mean you looked as if you were going to assault the poor child!"

"I would never assault a patient!" I said looking back at him, my eyes full of fury at the mere thought of him accusing me of this.

"Well it sure doesn't look like it from what I saw in there. When I called you here, I had heard you good, one of the best in the area, but after seeing that," he pointed towards Kendall through the window in the door, still huddled under the table, "I'm not so sure."

"Look it was a mistake okay, I just need to rethink things before I go back in there."  
"I don't think you should go back in there after that," with that I was standing up at fill height, my chest pushed out in a threatening demeanour.

"I'm going back in there! You wanted me to fix him didn't you! Help him get better! Well then you have to follow how I do things got it!"

What had done this to me? I had no idea why I was acting this way, with Kendall and now James.

"I think you really need to calm down before you even think about going back in there,"  
James glowered at me. I nodded.

"Yeah just I'm sorry I just-just give me a sec okay," he looked hesitant, but he walked back into the room, leaving me to once again fall back against the door. What the hell was wrong with me? I inhaled and exhaled, running my fingers through my hair, trying to relax. After five minutes, I stood wiping the palms of hands on my jeans as I opened the door.

I wasn't sure what I was going to do now. Could I really just go back to reading a book, and act as if nothing had happened. I ended up sitting down against the wall opposite from Kendall, staring at him wanting him to make the first move. I wanted to see how he had reacted to how I had acted. Was he now scared of me? Would I now have to regain the small amount of trust I had earned? His eyes made contact with mine, and the lingering gaze seemed not to be one he wanted to break. He stared back as if with intent, and it humoured me to see he was imitating me. I had noticed when I had smiled at him, Kendall returning the smile. I cocked my head to the side, and watched as he mirrored my actions. I let out a laugh; Kendall doing the same, except no noise escaped passed his lips. He simply imitated the way I looked.

"I'm sorry," I finally spoke, letting out a short, sharp sigh. "I shouldn't have done that to you, can you forgive me?"

Kendall actually looked as if he was thinking of what to do. His lips were pursed tightly together, his brows furrowed in what looked to be thought. He finally shrugged, his chin falling to rest against his knees. It was me who reflected him this time, which brought a smile to his lips.

"Do you actually like me reading to you?" I finally asked him. I didn't know why I hadn't asked him before. I just thought that if he saw me reading, how easy it could be he might want to do it to, and that would lead him to speak as he read a long with me. I never wondered if perhaps he didn't actually like me reading to him. He again shrugged nonchalantly.

"Well is there maybe something else you would like to do?"

For a moment his face lit up. I could see it, but it was instantly gone in a flash as if I had imagined it. But I hadn't. I knew that much.

"You can tell me Kendall, whatever it is, I'll do it for you. Think of it as my way for saying sorry for earlier," Kendall seemed deep in thought, but I couldn't really tell if he was thinking about what I had asked him, or if he was just staring off into space which coincidentally was something that he regularly did.

"Come on Kendall. Whatever it is, I can't do it if you can't tell me," he still didn't move to speak. Deep down I had known he wouldn't but it was worth a shot. I got onto all fours and crawled over to him, stopping just in front of the table where I kneeled before him.

"Okay, how about you act it out for me, what it is that you want to do and I'll try and guess it," I couldn't tell what Kendall was thinking. It all seemed to be a guessing game when it came to him. He didn't reply to my question instead, moving his arm out from under the table, the rest of his body remaining sheltered by the four legs which were his sanctuary. He stretched across to me and touched my chest. His palm laid flat against where my heart was, and at first I thought he was feeling my heartbeat, but then his index finger pulled back and tapped my shirt pocket. Within it was a pencil and notepad. I like to keep some paper and pencil somewhere on me, in case I ever wanted to write down some notes about a patient. I was glad that I did this for I now knew something knew about Kendall. I pulled out the pencil and notepaper, handing it to him. He quickly snatched it from me, before turning his back to me. I couldn't see what he was doing, but I could hear the scratching of the pencil against the paper. He was drawing.

I sat there for about fifteen minutes, waiting to see what Kendall would produce for me. When he finally turned around he handed me back the notepad and I was amazed by what I saw. It was a picture of a little girl. She had big wide eyes, that gave her a doe-eyed expression, making her look innocent almost like a puppy but with a more of a human characteristic towards her. She had flowing hair that was pinned back with a few clips and a braid by the looks of it. His lips were perfectly curved and her nose was cute like a small button. It was an amazing piece of artwork, for the small space of fifteen minutes that it had taken to draw it. Parts of the drawing were smudged to give it a naturally sort of look, other parts shaded to show dimension. I wondered how this sort of talent, could've gone amiss. The workers here are always looking for ways to keep the people here entertained. This would've been a great way for Kendall to do this, and it would've allowed his talent to be furthered.

"It's amazing Kendall, who is she?" I looked up to see Kendall's eyes haze over with a sort of sadness. He shrugged once again, before moving to be back against the wall, once again rocking and completely ignoring me.

"Time up," this time I hadn't even heard the jingling of the doorknob.

"So I'll see you tomorrow?" Kendall didn't look up, but I knew he knew I would be there. I stood and exited the room, smiling at the worker who had let me out. I knew what I was going to do tomorrow with Kendall. Hopefully it could be a way we could bond together if anything.

* * *

I arrived back the next day to a smiling James. He seemed happy for some unknown reason, not that I was going to upset by this.

"Is everything all right?" I asked laughing slightly. Along with James smiling, he looked slightly bewildered, like whatever had happened was utterly unbelievable.

"Yeah, it's just I honestly can't believe it."

"Believe what?" I asked.

"Well, we've had progress…with Kendall."

* * *

As it turned out, one of the workers had walked in to get Kendall ready for his time with me. Kendall was normally always under his bed whenever one of the workers would do this. I knew this, as I had heard them complain about what a mission it was to get him from out under the bed to clothes him and what not. Apparently when the worker had walked in, she had seen Kendall already clothed and ready to go. James had told me what an anomaly this was. Sure Kendall could dress himself, but he never seemed to make it easy on anyone normally refusing do so, which made the workers job just that little bit harder. Kendall had apparently not only been dressed though when the worker arrived. He had been standing in front of a mirror, his hands clasped to his cheeks and lips. The worker said it had looked like he was trying to make himself speak. He had been moving his lips to make words the worker had described it as. When she had finally interrupted him, asking him what he was doing, he had turned to her and began to make the faces towards her. She had said he looked so proud when he had done this, that she herself had shed a tear.

"So this is great isn't it? I mean its progress, right? Maybe he's ready to talk and he gearing himself up to do so, I mean wouldn't that just be amazing. After all these years of not talking he might finally be able to talk us," I frown then crossed James' face. "But what if we've been going about this all wrong I mean, what if this isn't progress?"

"What do you mean?" I asked James.

"Well, what if he actually is trying to talk but he can't. What if this isn't selective mutism, I mean what if he really just stopped being able to talk. No one's heard him talk in years Logan, what if this was all a waste of time."

"James calm down," I said, resting my arms on his shoulders. "This is definitely selective mutism okay. No one just stops being able to talk without any physical reason okay. So this is a good sign, you should be happy, we're making progress."

A smile returned to James face and that made me smile to. It was great to hear those words uttered from my mouth. We were making progress.

I walked into the therapy room where Kendall was under the table waiting for me. I sat down before him, my box of new materials in hand.

"So I heard from James what you did huh?" Kendall didn't look up, but he stopped rocking.

"Kendall I'm really proud of what you've done okay, and that's why I've got a reward for you."

When I said this, I was hoping he would be a little more excited. Reward systems were always good in these cases, to keep reinforcing good behaviour, but Kendall didn't seem all that into it. He continued to sit there, rocking silently. He wasn't even facing me, looking up towards me.

"I'm sure you'll like the surprise I got you. I'm sure you'll like it a lot Kendall. It's something we can do together," I tried but he wouldn't even look at me.

"Kendall, is something wrong?" I asked. I bit down on my bottom lip, before making the decision. I did it quick and fast, just like ripping off a band aid. I moved under the table. Kendall didn't seem bothered by my presence in his little hideaway, so I took that as a good sign. Now it was time to test my luck. I reached over to try and touch his shoulders in a comforting manner, but before I could Kendall was moving. It wasn't a quick sort of movement like mine had been, but it wasn't slow either. He moved so that his head was resting in my lap. I was a little taken aback, but I didn't fight his decision, my fingers moving to run through his dirty blond strands of hair.

"Kendall, what's wrong huh? I thought today could be a good day for the two of us. If you want to know what the surprise is, its finger painting. I brought sheets of paper and some paints so we could do some artwork. I thought you might like that after yesterday."

He didn't respond but I kept my cool unlike yesterday.

"Kendall come on bud, don't you want to do some finger painting. It's a reward for what happened today with the worker right?"

That was apparently the wrong thing to say as Kendall's body began to shake. I could feel his hot tears fall onto the trousers of my jeans, as I tried to get him to stop.

"It's okay Kendall," I soothed. "It's okay Ken, why don't you tell me what's wrong?"

He finally sat up at this and as it so happened, he ending up sitting in my lap. I could see his pale face, streaked by tears, everything about the way he looked shattering my heart. I ran the palm of my hand down the side of his face, desperately wanting to know what was wrong.

"Kendall what happened. You can tell me, I'm not going to hurt you or anything like that I swear," his fingers began to fiddle with the hem of my sweatshirt as he opened his mouth again and again, closing and opening it as if he was trying to find the right words to say. He finally moved his hands up to his cheeks and lips, and I watched as he began to do what I supposed was what he did this morning. He moved his lips to form words, words that I couldn't quite understand. He then looked down to his lap in shame.

"Kendall, that's really good you hear me. You want to speak don't you, and it's really good that you're trying. Its progress Kendall, and the more progress we have, the sooner you'll get better right?"

He shook his head, again moving his fingers to his lips. I didn't know what to say, what to do? He was definitely forming words by moving his lips; the problem was I just couldn't understand what he was trying to say. He stopped eventually, and just looked at me.

"We'll get there eventually Ken, don't worry about it?" He opened his mouth and breathed out right into my face. His breath smelt terrible, but I didn't say anything about it. I just sat there wondering why he had done that. He them breathed out again, his shoulders sagging as if he was trying to sigh. That's when I realised he was trying to sigh. He was trying to sigh, but no sound was coming out.

"Kendall, hey look at me okay, I want to try something with you all right."

He looked at me and nodded, waiting for me to tell him what we were going to do.

"Okay, you got to listen to me all right you understand?" he nodded, and I shifted us to a more comfortable position, with Kendall still being in my lap.

"Okay now I want you to put your hands around my throat okay," I grabbed onto his hands and moved them to around my throat. He seemed reluctant to do this, but he did as I said anyway. He clasped my throat not to tightly just like I said.

"Okay, now I want you to put your thumbs just here," I moved his thumbs so that they were resting over my voice box.

"Okay now I just want you to feel Kendall, I want you to feel how my voice box vibrates, I want you to feel how my vocal cords are relaxed okay, can you feel it," I kept talking watching Kendall's face in concentration as he felt around my throat. I had never done this with a patient; in fact I didn't know what I was doing. My main objective was to get him distracted enough so that he could perhaps make a noise without even realising it. It was all a big con-game.

"Okay so just feel it okay, now why don't you try this on yourself all right. Hold on to your own throat," I guided his hands to do so, "And do you feel the difference how different it feels, your so tense that's why your finding it hard, because your all tense, we need to try and relax your muscles okay so now feel mine again."

We went back and forth him feeling my throat as I was talking and then feeling his.

"Okay now let's try this Ken okay. I want you to open your mouth real wide okay," he opened his mouth slightly.

"No real wide Ken, really wide like this," I opened my mouth as wide as I could, watching as Kendall imitated me.

"That's good, really good, now just let out a breath okay," he did but no sound came out.

"Here, feel my throat again," he put his hands around my throat and then I did the same to him. He tried to squirm away at first by I didn't let him. Eventually he settled down and we began to feel around each other's throats.

"You feel it Ken, how relaxed my throat is, now what how I breathe out okay," I breathed out, making as much of a point as I could to make as much a noise as possible.

"You see Ken, you see how I made a noise all right, it's because I'm relaxed, now you try okay, just relax and breathe out."

We went back and forth, him feeling my throat then his to try and compare. I continued to breathe out, making as much noise as I could before getting him to feel my throat before trying to make him to the same.

"Good Ken, now just breathe out okay, just let it out, be relaxed."

He breathed out but still no noise so we went back. I kept trying to keep him distracted as we compared our voice boxes and if our throats were relaxed. Back and forth back and forth back and forth much like how Kendall rocked from times to time. I was trying to keep him distracted, so much so I was almost distracting myself as we compared throats again.

"Like this Kendall you hear me listen, Haaaa," I breathed out.

"You try now," and he did but he failed.

"Listen again, Haaaaaa," he felt my throat, he tried again. He failed.

"Haaaaa."

Fail.

"Haaaaaa."

Fail.

"Haaaaa."

"Haaaa-"Kendall looked up at me, his eyes wide, his face red from trying to simply to make a noise whilst breathing over and over again. I was surprised myself.

"Haaaa," he breathed out, making small noise.

"Haa, Haa, Haaaaaa," he was now testing out different lengths of the noise he made simply breathing out, his fingers falling from my throat as he did it again.

"Ha, Ha, Haaaaaa, Haaa, Haaaaaaaaaa, Haa, Ha."

It went on like that for a while just like that, him sitting there making these noises, me listening with a giant grin plastered across my face. The jingling of the door knob came, and Kendall jumped a mile high his head hitting the table. He hit the floor again, rubbing his head but that only lasted a second, before his fingers were grabbing at my shoulders tightly, fingernails digging into skin.

"Kendall, what are you doing?" his loosened his grip considerably before he placed his index finger to his lips, signalling silence. He then did the same to me, placing his finger against my lips.

"Ken, I don't understand-"he did it again, placing his fingers to his and then my own lips. The door opened, and I was getting up, moving towards the door, leaving Kendall under the table. I left the room, the door closing upon me with a harsh bang.

"So what happened, we couldn't see you guys under the table?" James asked me. I turned to him, and I was immediately planning to tell him of the success Kendall and I had had. Sure he had only breathed out, but he had made a noise at that. To me that was something worth telling someone about, but something stopped me. I didn't know what it was, why I felt as if I couldn't tell James of Kendall's progress, but I liked the idea of Kendall and I having our own little secret.

"Uh just the usual, nothing much happened," I said. James' face dropped.

"Well there's always tomorrow right?" I nodded, before saying good-bye with a curt wave and turning on my heel. I had no idea why I just didn't tell him, but something had stopped me. I couldn't help but know deep down however that it was the image of Kendall sitting in my lap, his fingers pressed tightly to my lips, as he practically begged me for my vow of silence.

* * *

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	5. Disturbed brutality at its finest

**Thanks for all of the encouragement guys. It means a lot.**

**Tried to make this a long chapter for lack of updates.**

**Working on my other stories to for those who are wondering.**

**Long weekend this weekend so should be a couple of updates from me. **

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**Read, review and I hope you enjoy.**

* * *

**Zoo Boy**

**Chapter 5**

**Disturbed Brutality At Its Finest**

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* * *

That day had all seemed like a dream. I couldn't explain it but the next day when I went back, I felt as if it was just going to be another normal day with Kendall. He would sit, hunched over under the table, not making a noise, and I would sit in front of him wishing that he would just say something; anything. When I walked into our room, he was there waiting for me. That was when it really hit me, yesterday had really happened. Kendall no longer seemed the scared little boy I had first met. Instead of sitting underneath the table, he sat just beyond the edge of his haven, his legs crossed, his back straight as if he was a completely normal person. What scared me the most was that he was smiling, but the smile which should've pleased me sent a chill down my spine.

"Hello Kendall," he bit down on his bottom lip, patting the spot next to him. I took that to mean he wanted me to move and sit next to him, which I did. It felt so strange being in his presence now. It felt like I didn't even know the boy who I was sitting next to. When I sat down, he immediately grabbed the box of materials from my hands, searching through the contents. He ended up pulling out the finger paints and rolls over paper. I hadn't taken them out, but I hadn't planned on using them today either. I had wanted to work upon Kendall's speech a little more, but when I tried to take the paints away from him, his face dropped, his lips moving into a cute little pout, his eyes filling to the brim with tears. I sighed, reluctantly giving in. He smiled again, but this smile felt slightly more cheerful. It reminded me of a child, innocent, naive to the horrors in the world that surrounded them.

I set the rolls of paper out on the floor, the finger paints just in front of them. Kendall immediately dived in. He lay upon his stomach, his legs up in the air kicking back and forth. He seemed so relaxed, so comfortable it was as if all of his fears, worries had drifted away never to be seen again. I simply watched him finger paint, having no desire to do so myself. His painting wasn't as intricate as his drawing within my notebook. It was sloppier because it was finger painting after all, but there was still something about the way in fingers moved over the page with such intent that had me mesmerised. It started off as a few lines across the page in black, which turned into the shape of a body. The body looked off though; the eyes a glassy blue, the arms and legs bent back at unusual angles. I watched as the picture unfolded becoming more and more disturbed as the time passed by. The finished painting had my eyes wide with shock, my mouth agape in disgust. The body was clearly an elderly male, who lay upon a base of which was wooden floorboards. That wasn't what disgusted me however. What made my stomach churn in horror was the body itself. The body was naked, scars, mutilations, welts, burns; whatever form of torture you could think of, laid upon the blemished, wrinkled skin. A pool of blood had formed under the head of the man, coming from a deep wound. The body was dead, looking utterly gruesome, beaten, bloodied, tormented, and full of suffering. I gulped at the finished picture, sitting right in front of me. Kendall looked up at me, his face not pale from looking at the sickening picture, but full of happiness. He was smiling as if what he had just done was something that an ordinary person would do.

I looked through the mirror, giving a worried glance to the people who I knew stood behind it. I wondered what this meant, but all I knew was that Kendall was psychologically disturbed if he could smile about the detailed ghastly picture which he had just painted.

"What do you think it means?" James asked me as I left the room after finishing with Kendall. He hadn't spoken at all this time, finger painting for our allotted time together.

"Do you know the person in the picture?" I questioned in return, not bothering to answer James.

"Um no, I've never seen him before, I mean could be someone Kendall knew in his life. I just-I mean-how can he paint something so…" James trailed off. I simply shrugged not knowing how to answer.

I left the clinic that day, my mind upon only one thing. What on earth possessed Kendall to draw something as crude as that dead body.

* * *

The week passed by in a flash, the prospect of more progress falling short. Kendall drew nothing more, he didn't speak. The only thing good that came of that week was the fact that Kendall came out from under his table. He wasn't fully out in the open, still hidden just behind the legs of his cage, but it gave me that small chance to interact with him, something that made me happy.

I had asked him one day about what he drew.

"Kendall, why did you draw that?" he cocked his eye-brow up at me, his face scrunching up in confusion. I had simply stopped reading the book held in my hands, the words to which he had been listening to with some intent. I stared at him for a short while, trying to decipher what that perplexed expression meant.

"You know, what you painted the other day," his eyes softened, before he shrugged.

"You can't tell me why you drew something like that," my hand had moved on its own accord, to touch his shoulder, my thumb rubbing circles in a soothing manner. He again shrugged, not perturbed by me touching him. I sighed, my mind racing. I desperately wanted to know what was running through his head, but he was still shying away from me. It had me doubting whether I will ever truly be able to break through to him, my head hung low at the thought I may never be able to.

Carlos was another thing that seemed to be constantly on my mind. Having only known him for two weeks, it seemed strange the weird little friendship we had. He had begun to show up at my house more often. The first night I had arrived home to him sitting on my door-step in the freezing cold, shivering, his arms wrapped around him-self as a make-shift blanket. We were meant to see each other twice a week, once in the weekend and once during the week on a Wednesday. That was why it surprised me to see him on a Friday night.

"Carlos what are you doing here?" I quickly stripped off my jacket, wrapping it around his somewhat thin frame. He was only wearing a threadlike orange t-shirt which had whole within it, and some grey trousers. He was shivering uncontrollably, so I quickly ushered him inside. We ended up on my couch, Carlos wrapped in a woolly blanket and some more of my clothes as he sipped hot cocoa. I was looking through a phonebook trying to find his parents phone number so I could contact them as to where their son was. I was sure they would be worrying as it was starting to get dark out.

"I don't know why you're looking through there," Carlos interrupted my search. I looked at him wondering what he meant by this.

"My ma and pa don't have a phone," Carlos shrugged this off casually, but it had me worried. How on earth was I going to get Carlos back home now?

"They know I'm here, you don't have ta worry. I told them where I was going," he continued to taste his hot cocoa, licking his lips every time afterwards.

"Well Carlos, why are you here in the first place?" I asked, trying to keep the annoyance out of my voice. It wasn't that I didn't want him there; it was simply that I had wanted to have a quiet night to myself. I had been under so much stress, and I had wanted to relax in a nice, hot bubble bath. I couldn't do that with him here.

"Because I can be."

"No Carlos you can't, your meant to be here on Wednesdays and one day of the weekend. Today's Friday Carlos. So how about you tell me where you live and I'll give you a ride home okay," Carlos looked upset by the prospect of having to go home, but he got in my car reluctantly. He had managed to get here sure, but I was just hoping that he could find his way back. I was not up for getting lost in the middle of nowhere, which was what seemed to be happening. He had me driving around curving corner, and through open roads which I had never been down before. Carlos was rather agitating. He could never sit still, bouncing up and down in his seat. He fiddled with the volume on the radio and what station we were listening to, not seeming to like any of the music that was on there. We ended up sitting in silence, until he began to hum a tune I didn't recognize. It gave me a headache.

"You know," Carlos said, "It's my birthday next week on Saturday. Are you going to bake me a cake. Ramon bakes me cake on my birthday," I nodded my head at the mention of Ramon. Carlos seemed to bring Ramon up a lot having introduced Ramon as his big brother. It seemed that Carlos looked up to Ramon and I was glad for that.

"Well because it's a Saturday, I'm sure I can bake you a cake, maybe take you out for some corndogs, how does that sound," I had learnt our first day together that Carlos' favourite food was corndogs, so I decided why not get some for the kids birthday.

"Yes!" Carlos fist pumped the air, smiling brightly. Food was definitely the way to this kid's heart.

We had been driving for fifteen minutes when I pulled up to the house of which Carlos told me was his.

"This is your house Carlos?" He sighed before nodding. The place was a dump. The roofing was coming off in places, the white paint job stripping from the outside walls. Unidentified plants grew up the walls making them look grimy to say the least. A window to the right I could see was smashed, glass littering the garden beneath it. It had become increasingly dark in them time it took to drive here, and I didn't feel comfortable leaving Carlos here. I knew what I had to do.

"You know Carlos, how about we have that sleepover tonight and then you can stay the day tomorrow. How does that sound?" Carlos cheered and I could only imagine why. If I went home to that house every night, I would try all the time to get away from it with every chance I could get. I turned around and drove back to my house, remembering the way I had came.

* * *

I had talked to Jo that night on the phone that night, once I had fed Carlos, let him bathe himself and sent him off to the spare room.

"Hey Logan what's up?" she had asked.

"Um well I'm looking after Carlos Garcia you know from the big brother little brother program."

"Is tonight one of the nights your with him then?" she asked sounding confused as to why I was calling.

"No it's not, and that's why I'm calling. I'm a bit worried about Carlos' living situation."

That was when I learnt the harsh truth that was Carlos' life. He didn't have a big brother called Ramon. His last mentor to do with the program was called Ramon but he had said that he couldn't handle Carlos. He had given up on him. It made me wonder why Carlos seemed so fond of him. That was just the tip of the ice berg however. Jo told me that she knew of Carlos' living situation as she had called in a few time to drop Carlos off when his parents hadn't picked him up from the centre. She had also been inside the grimy house. Apparently Carlos' had a lot of family members all living under the same roof. Aunties, Uncles, Grandparents, and then at least seven children by Jo's count, there could be more, she didn't know. It was a small enough house as it was without all of those people living within it. She also told me of the strange vibes she got from the mother. She said that the few time she had been over there that the mother always smelled strongly of alcohol, and would be dressed provocatively in a way a child should never see their mother. Carlos hadn't acted as if he had ever seen any different. She had of course put in a few calls to social welfare, but as of yet Carlos still lived inside the house that I could never imagine living in.

So now when he showed up to my house, I never turned him away. No matter how stressed I was, or just wanted a break, I always allowed him in. I started not to mind it all, but with everything on my mind; Carlos' well-being, hoping Kendall makes progress and everything outside of that with my personal life, things were starting to get out of hand.

* * *

The next Friday night before Carlos' birthday, I lay in bed trying to sleep but my brain not allowing me to. Carlos was in the next room, having stayed for dinner. We had had stew something that he was not too pleased with.

"But I hate stew, it tastes gross."

"Well that's what we're having so you need to deal with it."

"But can't we have ice-cream. I really want some ice-cream."

"Well I don't have any ice-cream."

"Well why don't you go and buy some!" he had shouted at me.

I had become so fed up that I had attempted to send him to his room. His eyes had pooled with tears and then he had promised he would eat all of his dinner without another word. He had kept that promise, even if he grimaced with every spoonful.

My thoughts were interrupted with by a door creaking open. I heard tiny foot-steps patter against the floorboards before coming to a stop at my door. I waited until my door opened slightly.

"Logan," I heard Carlos whisper. "Are you awake? Logan. Logan."

"Yes Carlos, I'm awake," I whispered back. The door fully opened and Carlos bounded in to jump on my bed.

"Carlos what are you doing?' I said, as he stood and began to jump up and down as if he was a top of a trampoline instead of my bed.

"I'm bored, let's go play a game or something like that. Do you have snakes and ladders, oh please, please, please can we play snakes and ladders. I'll do anything. I'll be the goodest boy I swear."

"Goodest isn't a word Carlos," I replied before sighing.

"Okay, let's go play," I wasn't mad at him, for I couldn't sleep in the first place. I might as well entertain the little ball of energy; otherwise he will just bother me until I do. We played until two in the morning when I got a phone call. By that time I had actually began to feel more tired, my eyes beginning to droop with every passing second. I jumped slightly when I heard the loud ringing echoing throughout my house.

"Why is someone ringing now, I'm just about to win with this next roll I swear," Carlos' face was scrunched up in annoyance, as I stood to answer the phone with a yawn.

"Hello…" I stood there in my long-sleeved top and boxer shorts, my eyes closed as I answered.

"Logan it's James…"

* * *

As it turns out, Kendall had awoken the entire place with his screeching. James had been called as he needed to be alerted to what had happened. The medics had been awoken and were so surprised to hear the blond. He had never made a noise in front of them let alone full on screaming. They had medicated him and taken him to isolation. That had been a few hours ago and he was awake now. James had called me in to see if I could figure it all out. Eight years in silence and now this. It was all something entirely new. He had only made a noise that one time and that was merely breathing in and out and that had only been in front of me. I had all but dropped the phone at this rushing to my car.

"Logan we're are you going? Logan. Logan!" Carlos screamed at me. I had completely forgotten I had the little tyke, and I now wondered what I was going to do with him. I couldn't just leave him here, but I didn't know if I could take him with me either. I sighed rubbing my temples.

"We're going out okay, now go put on some clothes quickly please," Carlos didn't move.

"I don't want to go out. I want to finish the game so I can win!" Carlos whined, stomping his feet against the floor.

"Carlos now is not the time for this. We need to go and now so go and get dressed."

"No!"

"Carlos!"

"No! No! No! No! NO!" I growled not knowing what to do. I really needed to get to Kendall and Carlos was not helping. He had thrown himself to the floor in a fit, bawling his eyes out and smashing his fist and feet against the ground.

"On the way back we'll stop to get some ice-cream."

Carlos immediately chirped up upon hearing this all but running to his room to clothe himself. I knew I shouldn't be rewarding this sort of behaviour but I needed to get to Kendall. Something about his sudden outburst had me worried and I knew that I needed to get to him as soon as possible. I left for my room realising I needed to be decently dressed as well. When I came back Carlos was waiting at the door for me.

"Where are we going anyways?" Carlos questioned as I held his hand on our walk to my car.

"To visit a friend of mine."

"A friend, what friend, do I know them?"

"No. Now on this ride, I really need to just think okay so I need you to be quiet."

"Quiet, I don't like being quiet."

"I can tell," I muttered. "Well if you don't then there's no ice-cream you got it, and I mean it Carlos. I need quiet."

Surprisingly he did as I asked. He was quiet the entire ride. He bounced on his seat a little, but that I could deal with. It was when we arrived at clinic, that I realised he was asleep. I let out a sigh of relief, not wanting to have him come in with me. I grabbed blanket from my boot, placing it over him before I entered the clinic. It was now two-thirty.

I found James at the front desk waiting for me.

"Hey," he breathed out. I could see that his hair was out of place, and his cheeks were lightly tinted red. He looked tired and I couldn't really blame him.

"Hey where is he?"

James led me down a few familiar hallways, but when we began to walk away from the usual route we took, I realised just how much more of the institution there was. Things were scarier at night, everything darker, the lights flickering on and off as we walked down the eerily silent hallways. As we got closer and closer to where Kendall was I began to hear screaming. It wasn't just normal screaming though. It sounded more like wailing, a mix between a screeching cat and someone being murdered. The closer we got, the louder it grew until we arrived at our destination. I saw a few people standing outside what looked to be a small room. There was another mirror just like in the room Kendall and I worked in. There were a few medics and other staff were looking through. James pushed them aside giving us the front view.

What I saw left me dumbfounded. I could still hear Kendall screaming, that deafening screech. He was almost naked having stripped down to his underwear, his clothes strewn in random places all over the room. As he screamed he was walking in a dazed fashion back and forth, running into the cushioned walls padded by a white material. He would hit one wall, stumble backwards slightly then turn and do the same to the opposite wall. His movements were laborious though, his eyes glassed over and I knew that was the effect of the drugs that had been given to him.

"How longs he been like this?" I asked my arms crossed over my chest in wonderment.

"Ever since the episode about four hours ago," I nodded, wondering how I was going to go about this. I honestly didn't know. He was probably too dosed up on medication to actually know who I was.

"I just need him to stop screaming Logan. There are other people here who are becoming upset by it," James said. I knew there were other patients who would definitely be rattled by the noise, so I decided that had to do what I could. He was in a safe place, and I had people outside who would run to my aid if anything went wrong.

"Okay," I took a deep breath, moving forward to the door. At first when I opened it, Kendall didn't stop what he was doing. It was like he didn't even notice that I was there. I sighed, _back to this are we, _I thought.

"Kendall it's me Logan," nothing. I stepped forward into the room, and the moment I did so Kendall halted. He was staring at the wall opposite me, but all I could see was the back of his head. He was still screaming, but with each passing second the screaming was dulling, coming to a complete stop not soon after I had entered the room.

"That's better Kendall. Now you know what I think might be fun for you, if we get James to go and find us some colouring in pencils how about that huh and then we can go draw. How does that sound Ken?" At first there was nothing. He didn't move, didn't scream. Just stood there like a mannequin. That changed in a matter of seconds. One moment everything was fine, next thing I knew, Kendall was lunging for me. He had a fury in his eyes that I had never seen before, his arms pinning me to the wall. I tried to move but I couldn't paralyzed by what was happening. His face was so close to mine, I could feel his hot, heavy, deep, erratic breathing against my cheeks. I could see every part of his features, how green his eyes were, the light barely able to be seen freckling that covered his nose, the redness of his lips. Before the staff could move to enter the room to help me though, Kendall was sliding down my body slowly like I was a part of the wall itself. He ended up on his knees, hugging my lower half closely to him as he sobbed. At first there were no words, nothing accept the sound of him crying. My eyes nearly popped out of my head when I heard it. I could barely register what had happened.

"Ka-at-tie," He whimpered, his face buried in the against my denim jeans. His words were muffled but I could still hear him clearly.

"Ka-at-tie," he cried again.

_Katie._

* * *

"Okay who's Katie?" I asked James. Kendall was now curled up in a ball sleeping in the corner of the room. I don't know how I had managed it, but it took a lot of soothing and coercing. He still trembled in his sleep, but all that was on my mind was finding out who Katie was.

"I don't know. I've never heard that name before. Why?" James asked me.

"Kendall kept repeating that over and over again," and it was true. Every time I would try to calm him down, he would simply cry out the name Katie more. It was at an ear-piercing pitch, leaving my ear-drums ringing.

"Wait he actually spoke?" James was so surprised, that evident in his tone. I had forgotten I hadn't mentioned what had happened in our session a couple of weeks back.

"Yeah, and now we need to figure out why. Now who could Katie be?"

"Look I think it's a little late to start researching into this isn't it," I did agree. It was now quarter past four, and I felt as if I was ready to drop to the floor and sleep.

"Maybe we could try tomorrow?"

So I had agreed. We had decided to go back to the clinic I worked at, for we had more resources there. I had gone back to the car, to find Carlos curled up in a ball much like Kendall. He was sucking his thumb cutely the entire ride back. When we had got home, I carried him to his room. I didn't hear a peep from him after that. This lasted until seven in the morning when he again came bounding into the room. I groaned as he jumped on top of me, pulling the blankets back shouting,

"Wake up, wake up, wake up!"

"Carlos no, it's to early go back to bed," I said, rolling over on to my stomach to bury my head into my pillow.

"But it's my birthday, and you have to make me a special birthday breakfast."

I closed my eyes mentally berating myself. I had forgotten it was birthday, which seemed impossible under the circumstances. He hadn't shut up about it for the past week.

"Get up, get up, get up!" I rolled back over.

"Okay, I'm up. How about you go downstairs and I'll be there in a second to start cooking," Carlos nodded enthusiastically, before running out of the room in a spastic manner. I groaned, wondering why I had done this in the first place. Why did I do all of this for him. It was not as if he was my son. Albeit these thoughts, I got out of bed with plans of making a large pot of coffee to get me through the day.

Carlos was waiting at the table, a giant smile plastered across his face. I smiled in return.

"How about pancakes, how does that sound?"

"That's sound so yummy. Can I help you bake them, oh please, please pretty please," he begged, even managing to get down onto his knees.

"Okay, but you have to listen to everything I say, are we clear," He nodded, his head moving up and down at lightning pace.

We ended up being covered in flour an egg cracked on my head, Carlos giggling at this. I had bent over to pick something I had dropped when he decided to do this, falling to the ground in a fit of laughter. The pancakes we made did end up being rather delicious, despite the mess.

"Thank you Logie," Carlos said, through a mouthful of food.

"Your welcome kiddo," I replied ruffling his hair. He pouted at me, shaking his head.

"Na-uh, I ain't no kiddo, I am this many years old," he held up nine fingers.

"Fine, what would you like me to call you then?"

"I'm an adult, just like you," I laughed ruffling his hair once more, the same pout appearing over his face again.

"Carlos, I'm really sorry buddy, but I have to go into work today. But I promise that we can have a birthday cake tomorrow, and you can stay all day then."

His shoulder fell inward, his gaze falling to the floor.

"It's okay," his voice was faint, and he wouldn't look up at me at all.

"Carlos I really am sorry," I said placing a hand on his shoulder. "But I have to go into work, to try and help another kid. Another kid who has a lot of problems. Do you understand?"

"What kind of problems? Cause my teacher at school says I have problems to. He says I have short attention span whatever that is. Does that mean you'll stay with me?"

I wanted to with that look on his face. I felt like I had just kicked a puppy.

"Carlos I'm so sorry, but how about you come with me today, and then when I'm finished we can go out for that ice-cream I promised you and we can get any present you want. And tomorrow I will bake a cake for you okay," Carlos' eyes lit up.

"Okay, I want to do that one," I nodded smiling as we finished eating out pancakes.

I arrived at the clinic with Carlos in the car. He was still excited about what I had promised him afterwards. We went into my office where James was waiting for me.

"The lady said it would be okay if I-"

"It's fine. Now Carlos I have some colouring for you to do while James and I work okay."

"Okay, I'll make the nicest picture ever to put on your fridge."

Carlos sat in the corner whilst James and I got to work. We sat at my desk, James calling up all of his contacts trying to find anything he could, me doing the same.

"Who do you think she could be? I mean maybe his mother-"

"No his mother's name was Jennifer."

"Well does he have any siblings?"

"Not that I'm aware of. There were no notes in his case files saying if he did though."

"Maybe she was a friend of some sort."

"He didn't really speak to anyone. Eight years remember, but I guess that's the most plausible thing to think of."

"Unless he did have a sister that we just don't know about?"

"Well there is a lot we don't know about him."

"That's what makes things so difficult," I sighed. It was like falling from a plane, with a broken parachute. There was simply no way of finding out anything, for we knew nothing to begin with.

"Well I say finding his mother is the best bet," James thought out loud.

"Do you have anyway of contacting her," he shook his head. "But I'm sure I can find her details. They should be within the system somewhere."

"Have you tried to contact her before?" I asked.

"Well no, I mean, there has never been a reason to do so. I have so many other cases and I really never thought anyone like you would ever try to help Kendall. People just kept telling me he was a lost cause so I just never really thought to-"

"It's okay. Just make the call."

He did and half an hour later he was still searching.

"Look Logan, look what I drew."

I looked down and there was Carlos and me, making pancakes just as we had this morning.

"That's looks great buddy."

"I know, now remember to put it up on your fridge," he said handing it to me. I rolled it up putting it in my pocket.

"I will, I promise."

"Got it!" James finally shouts out, jumping up in the air.

"Yes okay now we need to go out and see her-"

"Does this mean we can go now," Carlos whined. James and I had been here for over two hours now.

"We can do it tomorrow maybe," James nodded.

"Sounds good to me, meet in my office at nine," I nodded, James moving in to hug me before leaving through the exit.

"Okay, I guess now that means-"I went to turn to Carlos but was stopped by him jumping into my arms.

"That was so BORING!" Carlos shouted, as I immediately shush him.

"Can we just go now? You owe me ice-cream, corndogs and a present," He said smiling like the child he is. I nodded sighing slightly, before Carlos drags me off out of the clinic to my car. No matter how annoying the little boy could be, I simply couldn't stop myself from giving in to him. The car ride though, was not spent thinking about Carlos' present, the food I had to get him, or the cake I had to bake him for tomorrow. It was spent thinking about Kendall's breakdown, who Katie was, and what it was going to be like, meeting the mother who had raised Zoo Boy.

* * *

**Love it? Hate it? Review it?**

_Question: What do you think Kendall's mother (Mama Knight) will be like when you meet her? What do you think her living situation will be like? __And last of all but not least what do you think happened to Katie?_

**Yours Sincerely**

_WindowsDown22_


	6. Secrets to be kept

**Okay, long chapter I guess.**

**I quite like this. Kendall makes progress and it's awesome.**

**I'm loving this story.**

**It's so amazing the response I'm getting.**

**Thanks to everyone.**

**Oh my god! Sorry I just wanted to say that you guys know raj off of big bang theory. (not sure if everyone watches that, or anything but I think it's awesome so if you don't your missing out) He has selective mutism. When I found out I was just like wow that's weird. Plus I love big bang theory, how can you not.**

**OH! I really want to get to 100 reviews guys, like really, really want to so please review. Just everyone review and yeah…just DO IT! ;-)**

**YUHP! Um, what else to say.**

**Nothing of great importance.**

**Read on my pwetties.**

**Oh wait one more thing. I am working on my other stories, it's just that this is like my baby, and I can't seem to stop writing it. I'm getting around to updating the others though.**

**Okay now read on lovelies.**

* * *

**Zoo Boy**

**Chapter 6**

**Secrets to be kept**

**Thanks to**_ XavierJulius, StoriesXAboutPain, 22Random Ninja22, winterschild11, Erin G. Allen, Carphanie, Ariel Loves Kendall Schmidt, kat4543, RushersRuleTheWorld97, Silverflare07, mizukilen, Mr President 64, GhostGirl51, Xbigtimerusherx, BreakFree, Cookie Monster Giggles, Wow23, ToriShadeHarper, Chey21, lilygirl42001, XxxAnimaniacxxX, hermoine331 and Kandis-renea _**for all of your lovely favs, alerts and reviews. Keep them coming.**

* * *

The next day James and I had decided we would meet up early in the afternoon. He had a few cases to work that morning, and I had some other cases as well that I had wanted to catch up on. I had had a distressed grand-father call me weeks earlier about their six year old grand-daughter Delilah who refused to speak outside of their house. My guess was it had something to do with the fact that she had watched her parents being murdered merely months earlier, as before that she had been a perfectly normal child. I had to make a fifteen minuet drive to their house to assess her, so I could decide whether to take her case or not. Upon meeting both her grandparents and herself I couldn't help myself. The entire family seemed so distraught and since I had been recommended to them, I couldn't help but take her on. Then I had a lot of paperwork to do back at the clinic.

I drove back and as I entered my office, my eyes narrowed in confusion. Another desk sat opposite mine, the desk stacked neatly with papers and pen holders, everything strict and organized. Someone knocked me from behind as they turned to enter my office. I was only bumped forward slightly as a high-pitched laugh chimed from behind me. I turned around to be met with a perky looking woman. Brown curly hair shaped around her face, a cute button nose and a smile that could brighten any room.

"Um, can I help you?" I asked.

"No, I'm fine thanks," she then walked into my office and sat down at the desk. I bit down on my bottom lip, before moving to go sit at my own. She swivelled round in her chair, smiling at me, rolling forward to prop herself up against my desk with her elbows.

"Hi, I'm Camille Roberts, your new office buddy," she held out her hand which I took with slight confusion.

"I didn't know I was going to have someone invading my office," I said, cocking my head to the side.

"Really, you would think someone would tell you, but I guess not. I hope you don't mind?'

And I hadn't minded at all. Camille was a breath of fresh air, especially around that place. Things could at times get a little sombre, people working with disturbed children, cases of abuse and so forth. Some time's the place could get a little depressing, and it felt nice to have someone like Camille around to liven up everything. I didn't really know how she managed it. She had started out here, a small town girl from Minnesota, who had had big dreams. Moving to Los Angeles to become a star had proved rather difficult and upon giving up this dream, having no idea what to do with her life she had gone into work with children. At first wanting to be a teacher, she had gotten into special education teaching. She had bounced around other ideas until finding her true calling in children with mental illnesses. She had returned back to Minnesota upon hearing her mother had cancer, and had found the clinic as a place to coincide with her career path. At the clinic she was hired to work abuse cases which triggered mental illness. It always stunned me how she could be so vibrant, sprightly with what she had to deal with.

"I'm sorry to hear about your mother?" I told her, after hearing her life story.

"It's okay. We're hoping she pulls through, all though the chemo is taking its toll," she shrugged.

"I'm sorry to hear that," I paused for I was trying to word my next question in my head, without sounding insensitive. "So um, why did you decide to come and work here? I didn't even know there was a position available."

"Yeah, there was. And well for one, I didn't really want to be stuck back at home all the time. It would get kind of depressing you know. My mum has my dad, two older brothers' and younger sister looking after her and this job allows you to work a bit from home. I guess I just wanted something to whilst I was here, and also, I'm trying to set up life here again. I decided not only to move back here because of my mum, but also because I just needed a change of scenery from L.A and I have always liked it here…" she trailed off, looking off into the distance as if remembering a fond memory of her time here. I didn't disrupt this, turning back to my work which I had to get a move on with.

Camille and I chit chatted with each other until lunch time arrived. Camille had been writing up paperwork to do with her first two cases which had been called in this morning. She questioned me about how things worked around her, all of which I was happy to answer.

James was meant to be meeting me at one, as to go to meet Kendall's mother. I was rather nervous. I didn't know what to expect when meeting the woman who had basically abandoned her son, leaving him in the states care.

"Well your case sounds interesting. I can't say heard much about elective mutism. It sounds quite interesting in fact," I had just finished telling Camille about Kendall.

"Yeah, but it's difficult. He's started to talk, but I don't know what triggers him to do so. We kind of had a session where he made noises, and that was only because I tricked him into doing it. Then all of sudden he's screaming the house down, and crying out the name Katie."

"And you have no idea who this Katie is," I shook my head.

"Well meeting the mother should answer a few questions."

"I can only hope."

"Mister Mitchell," I looked up to see a woman I knew as Sheila standing at the door.

"Yes."

"There's a man, James Diamond at the front desk asking for you," on cue I stood looking over to Camille.

"Wish me luck."

"Good luck," she replied with a smile. I then walked out towards the front desk, my heart pounding in time with every step I took. I just hoped we would be able to get some answers from Kendall's mother, that would give us a little more information on him; allow us to know what made Kendall this way, and hopefully lead us to the answer of how to help cure him.

* * *

The ride was quiet most of the way there, James' hands clutching tightly at the staring wheel, his knuckles white from the vice-like grip. As we drove I looked out the window, seeing forestry almost everywhere. It was a long drive, almost three hours, and towards the end I had begun to notice the change in scenery. It went from big green trees and quaint, cosy surrounding, to flat ground which was just dirt, and housing that reminded me much of Carlos' home. It got much worse though. The closer to Kendall's mother we came, the more I wondered if this had been Kendall's childhood home. The thought sent shivers up my spine. Old, rusty buildings stood, windows bordered up doors open yet solemnly uninviting. I jumped a little when the car came to a sudden halt, looking to see what stood before me. A house that looked deserted, unlived in and absolutely rotten. The roof caved in at point, the wooden walls rotting, making it look as if it could collapse at any second.

"This is it?" when James nodded I gulped, my hands jittery as I opened the car door. When I shut it, the sound echoed off into the distance, the silence around the place unnerving to say the least. James and I walked up to the front door-step, James moving to knock against the door but pausing before doing so. My guess was he was afraid if he knocked on the door to hard it would cave in, but he then moved his hand knocking twice. A shuffling noise sounded behind it, and then the door was pulled open. The crack that was opened was small, just allowing us to see a tiny frame standing there. The little boy was small, looked unnourished, his clothing hanging off of him almost touching the floor.

"Hello," James spoke, kneeling down so he was at the boy's height. The boy shied away from him immediately, his thumb moving to his lips which he began to suck on.

"My name is James, I'm here to see your mum," the door was suddenly wrenched open, a woman now standing there. She looked rough, like she had seen more horrors than most but also had a nurturing feel about her. She pushed the boy behind her, her eyes narrowed into slits as she looked us up and down.

"You here bout Kendall," she said. I nodded in unison with James. She then moved aside, gesturing us into her home. I walked through to see the grimy walls, coated with stains that were unidentifiable. It was a disgusting place, but as we were ushered into the lounge I was left frowning. There were no couches or chairs or anything for that matter, except a cardboard box which had two plates a food upon it. One was filled with biscuits the other with sandwiches. I looked back to the boy, only to have my eyes widen when I saw that there was now another girl beside him. She was taller than the boy, but more sickly looking; pale, skinny bones almost protruding from her skin. I wondered at first if that was Katie, but I couldn't bring myself to ask, to shocked by the poverty that this family lived in.

The woman gestured for us to sit down around the cardboard box. James and I did so, my eyes moving to the children. I wondered if they would sit with us, but they made no move to do so, simply staring at the food, their eyes full of hunger. I had a feeling they knew their place though, and would never move to take any of the food. It saddened me that this woman, Kendall's mother, had put this spread on for us, when these kids had probably never seen such delicious food in their lives.

"Please eat," she spoke. Not to seem rude, and wanting to remain on this woman's good side, I took a biscuit, nibbling at edges feeling so guilty whilst doing so. I watched James do the same, as he mirrored what I expected my expression to look like.

"So why you here? I don got nothing to with Kendall anymore," I placed the biscuit back onto the edge of the plate, looking up to the woman.

"Just to make sure, you are Jennifer Knight correct."

"Do it look like there's another Jennifer Knight around here?" I nodded, biting my bottom lip wondering how to go about this. She seemed hostile, agitated. She kept moving her hand to scratch her face, which I assumed was because of her drug addiction. It hadn't said anything about that in the brief mentions of Kendall's mother in his files, but it was easy to tell, the signs obvious.

"Well Mrs Knight, my name is Logan Mitchell, I'm working with Kendall to help cure his elective mutism, and this is James Diamond, Kendall's social worker," she eyed us curiously, not saying anything about our introductions.

"We're here, because where trying to help Kendall. And we need your help to do so."

"My help, what the hell can I do. I can barely remember the kid," I held back a sigh, not wanting to become offside with woman. Inside though, my blood was boiling. This was Kendall's mother. A mother who was meant to care, meant to love and nourish, and there she was not even a hint of guilt in her face. I wanted to cuss at her, blame her for everything, scream and yell at her until she realised what she had done, but I held it all back for Kendall's sake. I needed to know about Katie.

"Well Mrs Knight, do you know what elective mutism is," she didn't respond, rolling her eyes in turn. "Well it's when someone refuses to speak, for some psychological reason and this is what Kendall has. I'm trying to help him, and recently he has begun to speak again-"

"So, what's this to do with me?" she now had a twitch, he lip moving up into a snarl every so often. I bit the inside of my cheeks harshly almost drawing blood to stop myself from acting out. I had to have control.

"Well when Kendall started to speak again, he said the name Katie. We were wondering if you know who that is," she paused looking at me, hands moving to scratch her face again.

"You know, he had that electrive or electin mutism thing, whatever you call it long before he left. He came home one day, and just stopped talking when he was about six," my eyes widened as she talked. It had only been documented Kendall had spent eight years not talking. It had said that he stopped talking at school but that was when he was about eight maybe nine. And here is mother was saying the his elective mustism had started earlier than recorded.

"I don know why it was? He just stopped and wouldn't start again. Stupid boy," I took a deep breath calming myself, looking over to James to see his jaw clenched, his fingers ravelling and unravelling into fists.

"It would've ben fine if he jus talked, but he didn't ever make things easy on us?"

"U-Us?"

"Yeah, us, me and my husband. Coulda jus don as he was told but na, disobeyed us and all that."

"You had a husband Mrs Knight, would that be Kendall's father."

"Na, he abandoned me when he found out, haven't heard from him since."

"So Kendall had a step-father, did her get along with his step-father?" The mother looked up, her eys widened in fury.

"I know what your insiuatin, you saying that it's his fault ain't ya? But it wasn't that boy was trouble from the start."

"I wasn't insinuating anything. Our records of Kendall are scarce and we're trying to gather as much information as possible," she calmed down slightly at that.

"Well it wasn't ma husbands fault. He just given that boy what he deserved."

"Well what was your husband's name?"

I didn't think she was going to give me an answer, but I was glad when she did.

"Kyle Warren, he doin time at the moment, but we'll be all right once he get out and all."

I nodded, making a mental note of the man's name.

"But what about Katie?" James interrupted. He sounded stern, agitated by the woman, so I quickly placed my hand on his hand under the table giving it a light squeeze. We couldn't afford to come off as brash or accusing. She wouldn't answer questions if this happened. We needed to remain calm and peaceful, so I hoped James got all that from my hand upon his.

"Watch ya tone with me, pretty boy," she spat. "Why you wanna know anyway. What's so important bout her."

"Kendall spoke of her, we're just trying to figure out what she meant to him," Mrs Knight looked us up and down, and I was sure James had screwed up. But she turned her head to the side.

"She was his sister, and that's all I'm saying, and I wan ya out of my house now."

* * *

"I can't believe that woman, I mean how dare she say such things about Kendall and the way she acted I just wanted to…" James continued on and on, ranting like he had for most of the ride. My mind was focussed upon those poor kids though. I never found out if the girl was Katie, but when Mrs Knight wasn't looking I had slipped them my card telling them to call me if anything bad happens to them. I wasn't sure if they even had a phone, much like Carlos' family but I just hoped that they could get to one. I didn't want this Kyle Warren being anywhere near those poor children. For them to end up like Kendall would just be a tragedy.

"I'm putting in a call and getting those kids out of there to. Set them up in a nice place or something, because there is no way they can keep living there-"

"James you saw those kids."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I mean, you saw them. They are so scared that they would never talk out about their mother. Their mothers not going to say anything either. And with the place they live in, you don't have any derestriction their either, and do you really think anyone around that place is going to do anything."

"I don't care Logan. I am not giving up on those kids. It's not fit living conditions, and there is no way I'm going to sit back and let them continue to stay there with that horrid woman…"

I blanked James out after this. It wasn't because I was being rude; it was simply because I knew better. Those kids weren't going to be going anywhere, and no matter how much I wished that things were different I knew that that was where they would be staying put.

"We need to find out about this Kyle guy and what happened to Katie. Since we have names now, it should be a lot easier," I said, half way through the drive back. James had stopped talking, and the car ride had been spent mostly in silence.

"Yeah, I'm already on it. I have someone at the institute looking into it. I'll ring you when I find out okay," I nodded, the car ride returning to silence.

We arrived back at the clinic and hour and a half later. I said good-bye to James who promised to ring me later tonight. I walked through the clinic to my office, where I found Camille sitting talking upon the phone. She waved politely, before returning to her conversation. I sat down at my desk with head in my hands, remaining like until Camille came over and tapped me on the shoulder.

"Is everything okay?" she asked. I looked up and shrugged.

"I honestly don't know."

I told Camille and all about everything. I went more in depth into my experience with Kendall, talked about my visit with Kendall's mother. Camille was such a good listener, a good quality to have. I spent almost an hour talking to her, all about the stresses of taking on Kendall's case.

"You know, it sounds like you could use a drink?" I could see the flirty manner in her eyes.

"Oh um, I'm not much of drinker," I said but she didn't seem like she was going to give up anytime soon. She ran her fingers up my arm.

"Well why we don't just go out, get something to eat. You seem like you could use some sort of stress relief."

"I'm gay Camille," I quickly blurted out. She looked taken aback at first, but the shook her head, whilst chortling.

"Wow, I knew there was something a little different about you, but that was not what I was picking."

"Are you okay with that or-"

"Of course, one of my close friends back in L.A was gay, it just sucks I was trying to hit on you," she shrugged it off, returning to her desk.

"We could still go out for that dinner though, if you want?" I asked.

"Yeah that sounds good."

* * *

James had called me that night. He had found out quite a bit about Kyle Warren. He was currently doing time in jail, for drug possession. His sentence was almost up and he would be getting out in just over six months. The guy was criminal through and through. He had been to juvie when he was fourteen for theft and assault. He had been caught multiple times with drug possession which was why he was now serving time for it. He had been had up for many other charges, arson, sexual assault, armed battery. The list just went on and on, and I wasn't sure how this man had even been let out of prison with his track record. According to James' source he had spent some years with Kendall's mother back when Kendall was about two years old. There had been evidence of abuse, but nothing had ever been recorded about him doing time for this. I knew what was wrong with Kendall had something to do with his step-father, but there were no records as to what.

We also found out the sad truth about Katie. The girl had been murdered at the age of due to blood force trauma to the head. The police had been called to the knight home, and they had found her by a rusted piano, lying dead in a pool of her own blood. No one had been charged with the murder, Jennifer, Kendall's mother saying that someone broke into the house and tried to rob them only to end up murdering Katie. I wondered if this was the truth or not, but the investigation had gone cold a while ago into the young girls murder.

The next day I went to see Kendall in our allotted time together. I planned on asking about his step-father, about Katie, about everything that we had found out, in attempt to get some answers out of. Perhaps he would talk to me, perhaps he wouldn't but there was only one way to find out. I entered the therapy room, Kendall being dragged in just after me. He had spent his required time in isolation, and was now out which I was thankful for. I hadn't been able to spend time with him yesterday because of this, so I was just happy to see him again.

He immediately ran to be under the table, shying away from me once more. I had no problem however moving under the table, much unlike the first time we had met. I crawled under next to him, brining my box with me.

"Hello Kendall," it was strange this time that he sort of hummed.

"Mmmmm," he said, sounding like the buzzing of a bee. He continued to do this, his hands over his ears, rocking back and forth.

"Kendall," I said, calmly trying to remove his hands from his ears. He didn't put up a fight, but he still rocked making that strange noise.

"Kendall, can you quieten down please," it felt strange to ask him this, as all this time I had wanted him to make noise, but this was not what I wanted. He sounded like a child who had special needs problems, and I of course knew that he could talk. He shouldn't be making these noises. Not when I knew that he could do better.

"Kendall, I asked you to be quiet," I spoke calmly again, and this time he dulled the noise until he stopped completely still rocking. I put my arm around his shoulder, pulling him closer to me.

"Kendall, I want to ask you something," he nodded to indicate he could hear me, but he didn't look my way.

"Ken, I went to see your mother yesterday," he froze. He completely froze, stiller than I had ever seen someone before. It was like he wasn't real, and I wondered from a moment if he had gone into shock, but I could still hear the slight sound of his shallow breathing, his chest moving in and out, in and out.

"I-Igh…" the noise Kendall made, came out like that of a strangled cat.

"It's okay Ken, you can do it, you can talk to me, I'm right here," I hugged him tightly against me.

He gulped heavily, opening his mouth, his words faltering.

"It's okay Ken, come on you can do it," I encouraged.

"Y-you, I-I m-my m-m-mmmuuum," I was amazed. He had done it, he had really done it.

"Yes Kendall, your mum, I went to see her."

"Y-You went t-to see m-m-my m-mu-mum," he let out a deep breath having managed to complete his first real sentence.

"Yeah I did."

"W-What was s-she like?" he was breathless, his eyes wide at what he was accomplishing.

"She was, welcoming," that was nicest thing I could manage to say about her. She had gotten all that food for us, and maybe it looked like she had even cleaned up a bit.

"W-Well that's g-good right?" I nodded.

I wasn't sure what had possessed him to talk to me, especially since when he had entered the place he seemed reluctant to even notice my presence.

"Kendall, why don't you tell me about your sister, Katie?" Kendall didn't make a move, didn't make a sound. He just had this thoughtful look upon his face.

"What do you want to know about her?" he spoke with such clarity, it took me back a little bit. I cleared my throat.

"Well I mean-I heard what happened to her, and I'm really sorry."

"That didn't answer my question," it was strange to be able to hear his voice, hear him really talking. His voice was scratchy, mostly because he hadn't used it in such a long time. But he there was still a hint of gentleness about it. I felt that his voice ever went back to its natural state it would sound beautiful.

"Well, can you tell me what happened to her?"

His expression turned blank for a moment, thoughtful perhaps if I thought about it. His eye-brows began to furrow inwards, his cheekbones caving in as he bit the insides of his cheeks.

"I'm not sure I want to talk about it. Do you think you could help me?" the question came out of the blue. I wasn't sure what to say, the words not coming to mind so I simply nodded in turn. He began to move, his body turning away from me as he huddled in the corner sheltering himself so I couldn't see what he was doing. I didn't try to peer at him, not wanting to lose his trust. He looked back at me over his shoulder, still sheltering what he was trying to do.

"It's okay Ken, you can trust me."

He looked as if he was having an internal struggle, turning back to look at me, before looking away only to do so again. I didn't move, waiting for him to come to me. He eventually did, turning to pass me over a book. The book was small, a notebook more like it. The cover was a teal blue and look grimy, old like it had been used often.

"What is this Ken?" I asked him.

"I need you take to care of it for me, but you have to promise-"he was suddenly right next to me, his arms grasping mine. "You won't look in it."

The desperation was evident, his eyes pleading with me.

"Why do you want me to take it," he looked downwards at this question.

"Because I'm not meant to have it," he said this at just above a whisper, in a barely audible voice.

"You're not meant to have it," I twirled the notebook in hand, wondering what to do about this situation. Kendall shook his head.

"Well why do you want me to take it?"

"Because I don't want them to see it," he whispered looking up indicating to the glass mirror. I nodded, still trying to process what had happened today.

"Ken, I don't think I can. I mean if you're not meant to have it, maybe we should turn it inmph," I stopped as his hand was hurriedly placed over my mouth.

"No, you have to take it, and you have to promise me, you won't look in it. Promise me," there were tears in his eyes, and I found myself not being able to deny him.

"Okay I promise."

"And don't show it to them."

"I won't."

"And I need you to bring it back to me every time you come."

"I will."

I began to wonder if they could hear me beyond the glass, I wondered if when I left they would come running up to me, demanding to see the notebook, but when I did leave no one ever did. On the ride home, my curiosity began to kick in. I wasn't sure whether to look into the notebook or not. I picked it up, turned it in my hands, and then placed it back in the seat next to me. Then I would repeat this over and over again. I knew there could be information in the notebook, information that could help me become more acquainted with Kendall but at the moment, I couldn't do it. I had already made so much progress with Kendall, and I felt that whatever was in there would be of huge secrecy. He trusted me enough to give this to me, and at the point in time, I couldn't break that thread of trust. So when I got home, I placed it upon my bedside table with every intent of taking it back to Kendall when I would see him tomorrow.

* * *

Over the next two weeks, things progressed rather smoothly. With each passing session with Kendall he talked to me more and more. It wasn't exactly in depth conversation. Some sessions only a few words would pass between us. Sometimes it was about the weather.

"I like the rain," Kendall had once told me. "But only when I'm inside looking out."

Other times it was about his childhood. I hadn't learnt much more than I already knew. He talked about his sister sometimes. Katie.

"You know we used to pick daisies together. It was really fun. We made Daisy chains. She would put them on her wrists and ankles. They were really pretty."

Sometimes, it went more in depth than that.

"Once it was my sister's birthday, and I went down to the shop to buy her favourite type of chocolate. When I came home, my step-dad accused me of stealing it and then he ate it right in front of her, even though it was hers for her birthday."

That was the first time he had mentioned his step-father. I tried to press on about this, but then he closed up on me and refused to talk anymore. No one else knew about our little conversations. No one else knew about the notebook he had given me. We had our own little secrets, and surprisingly I was okay with it.

I arrived home on a Monday night after a long weekend. Carlos was waiting for me as usual.

"Hey Logie," he said sweetly. He had definitely warmed up to me, and was treating me like he really cared about me. It was like I was a father to him, and I knew I was a much better one than what he had never really had.

"Hey Carlitos. Did you have a good day at school today?" I asked whilst pushing the key into the lock, opening the door.

"Yeah I guess," he was frowning something that was rather unusual.

"Car, is everything okay," he sighed dejectedly, before shaking his head. I ushered him inside out of the cold, where he moved to be sitting at the kitchen table. We usual had some afternoon tea, which Carlos was always aching for. I began to make some mac and cheese planning on asking about what he meant once we were both sitting at the table together. Once we were, he dug in immediately. I eyed him over before I started to eat my tomato cheese and crackers.

"So Carlos?" I said casually. "You want to talk about what happened at school."

"I tolf you everyfing wen fine," he said through a mouthful, spitting mac and cheese out onto the table.

"Yeah but you said it with frown. If something's wrong you can tell me, you know that right," he again frowned looking down at the table, his head hung low.

"Well, my teacher says that sometime next week, everyone has to get their parents to come in to talk about their jobs," I now knew what was wrong. "But I can't ask my mum, and I don't have a dad," I smiled sadly. "So I was kind of thinking that maybe you would um, maybe you might want to come and talk about your job."

He didn't look up at me, not once, and it saddened me to see Carlos like this. It always saddened me when the young boy wasn't smiling.

"Well does it have to be a parent?"

"I didn't ask, but you're kind of like a parent," I stilled in a little bit of shock, wondering where that had come from. Carlos had been spending a lot of time with me as of late, probably for about a month now, but I didn't know he already felt this way. I couldn't really blame him though. I had already become so attached in the short space of time.

"Well how about you ask tomorrow and then I'll work it into my schedule huh," Carlos cheered, nodding his head enthusiastically.

We watched some television that night. It was a Disney movie, something that Carlos loved. He fell asleep whilst watching it, snoring loudly like a grizzly bear. I picked him up, managing to turn the television off with my big toe before taking him to his bed. I sat with him for a while, thinking about everything. I wondered what his mother was doing right now; if she even noticed that her own child, her own flesh and blood had left to stay with someone who in reality was a complete stranger to her. Then I thought of Kendall's mum; another mother who didn't seem to care about their son. It then brought me back to my own mother. We didn't have the best of relationships one would say. My father had died when I was young of cancer. I had hated that, he was like a best friend to me, and I had never really gotten along with my mother. She was much stricter, had different values in beliefs. She was what I would call a cold-hearted woman. She never really looked at me with loving eyes and that had always hurt me. When I had managed to finally come out to the woman, she had basically given up on me. When I left I had never looked back, moving on to bigger and better things. It made me think though how many other children out there lived a life with no maternal figure. Sure Carlos, Kendall and I all had different types of abusive mothers, but it didn't matter. It was all some form of abuse in the end. I couldn't even begin to imagine how many other kids lived a life like any of the three of us, and it saddened me to think that there were others out there like Carlos, like Kendall, like me, who would never know what it was like to feel the love of their mothers. With that thought I stood and went to my own bed, kissing Carlos on the forehead as I went, shedding more than a few tears along the way.

* * *

**Love it? Hate it? Review it.**

_Question: Do you think characters unrelated to Kendall ie. Carlos, Camille, are good for the story. I ask this because a reviewer a while back said they saw no point in Carlos' character. Not hating on this person for everyone is entitled to their opinion. I just want to know if you guys would like to see more or less of characters such as Carlos and Camille (by the way I have plans for Camille's character involving Kendall) just thought I'd throw that out there, but everyone's opinion is valued. YUHP! Also wondering if you guys like the new image/cover/thing. It took me awhile to make and I like it, but I just thought I'd ask?_

**Yours Sincerely**

_WindowsDown22_


	7. Realms of normality

**Yeah I had a long weekend, and because the party I had (which was going to be awesome) got cancelled I decided to write this. **

**I'm just loving everything about this.**

**A lot happens in this chapter.**

**Kendall talks more.**

**But there's a bit about Carlos. Read the bit about Carlos carefully, see if you can pick out where I'm going with his character.**

**Thanks for getting me to 100. Hugs and kisses for all of you.**

**Sorry for those who wanted Jagan to. Not going to happen:(**

**That's all I have to say.**

**Read on fellow rushers.**

* * *

**Zoo Boy**

**Chapter 7**

**Realms Of Normality**

**Thanks to **_LoveSparkle, Ariel Loves Kendall Schmidt, Wow23, icanloveyoumorethanthis, Ritdall, Chey21, SpidermanInPlaid, Rachel, XaiverJulius, Morte Giver, Mr President 64, Kate4543, Silverflare07, winterschild11, xxhATINiSbAdxx, Xbigtimerusherx, Cookie Monster Giggles, GhostGirl51, ChelziSchmidtXD, RusherRuleTheWorld97, StephiiXxWeffi27, Just Fetching and MusicLuvr16_** for all of your favs, alerts and reviews.**

* * *

I awoke on a Friday morning, having absolutely no desire to leave the warm confines of my bed. I stared out the open window for a short while, smiling at the prospect of a nice sunny day. The sun's rays blazed through into my room, shining against my face in a warm loving way. I thought back to last night wondering why Carlos had wanted to leave early. Most nights that he came over, he ended up staying, but last night he seemed different. I felt as if something was upsetting me, but he refused to answer my questions I had fired at him, simply asking me to take him home. Arriving at his house, I hadn't wanted to let him get out of the car, but he had insisted he would be fine. I had let him go, and had gone home to a sleepless night, my conscience managing to keep me awake. I shouldn't have let him stay there, he was much better off with me, but he had wanted to go home to his family, and what could I do about that.

I got out of bed, following my usual routine. Showering, before I dressed and primped my hair up with gel. I then ate breakfast consisting of scrambled eggs and bacon on toast, before brushing my teeth, gathering my gears and heading off to the institute. I had an early session with Kendall today, my hours put in with him always seeming to vary on which time of day I went.

I entered our therapy room after a long drive, waiting for Kendall to arrive. When the doors opened I expected Kendall to run through, quick to get under his table and away from the man who always brought him there. Instead it was just the man today, Kendall being nowhere in sight.

"Where's Kendall?" I asked him.

"There will be no session today, he refuses to leave him room," I bit down on my bottom lip not wanting to miss an entire session with him. We had been making such good progress.

"Well maybe I can get him to come out," the man shrugged turning to lead me off to his room.

"It's okay, I know where it is," I said, walking off my own not wanting the man to be there when I entered Kendall's room. I didn't know his name, or even the slightest bit about him, but I felt like Kendall disliked him a lot. He always brought Kendall through to the therapy room, and Kendall would always run through the door at pace to get away from him. I felt like Kendall disliked domineering male figures, probably something his step-father probably was. That was my guess as to why he didn't like this guy.

I entered his room, to see him lying on his bed, sheets pulled up over his head.

"Hey Ken," I said softly, moving to sit on the side of his bed. The lump underneath the sheets moved slightly, but he didn't come out at all.

"Don't you want to come for our session?" as I asked this the top of his head poked out slightly, allowing me to see his tussled blonde hair. I moved my hand to run my fingers through it in a comforting manner.

"I even brought your book," I bent down to pull it out from my box, placing it on top of his back so he knew it was there. I could feel his muscles tense as I did this, but he still didn't come out.

"Is everything all right Ken, you know you can tell me if it isn't right?" I could see his body beginning to shake under the sheets, and I immediately wondered if he was crying. I couldn't hear any sobbing of sorts, but then again, Kendall had spent so many years being silent he had probably mastered how to cry silently. I moved the book off of his back, and began to rub his back soothingly hoping that if he was crying this would help to calm him. After a few minutes of this, I was glad to see the top of his head pop up from the sheets allowing me to see his eyes. It didn't look like he had been crying, but I didn't question if he had been or not.

"Is everything all right? Do you…want to talk about it?" He didn't respond, something that I had come accustomed to. As it seemed whenever I asked a question to deep or personal, or simply something he didn't want to answer he just not respond, close off and it would be like all of the improvements we had made had never really happen and he would return to Zoo Boy, no longer Kendall the boy I had become comfortable with.

"We can just sit here if you want, I don't really mind."

So we did. For about fifteen minutes we sat in silence. It wasn't uncomfortable or weird or anything like that; if anything it was kind relaxing.

"I had a nightmare. I hate nightmares," Kendall stated.

My head snapped up to look at him. His head was fully out from under the covers now, as he analysed at me with almost judging eyes.

"And what was your nightmare about?"

"Do you have nightmares?" That was not what I had been hoping for, but I felt like he was testing me, seeing how I would respond to his way of talking. I felt the best way to handle this was to show I trust him, by answering his questions.

"Yeah I do, sometimes."

"What about?" he now sat up in his bed, and that was when I realised he was shirtless. I had seen him shirtless before once, when he was in isolation but I hadn't really been paying attention to his body I guess. It had been so early in the morning and I could barely keep my eyes open. Now that I was looking though, I felt my breakfast churning in the pit of my stomach. I felt stupid for not noticing this sooner, but now that I was up close, I could see. There were scars. To give myself credit, they were faint, faded, but they were still there clear as day. Some looked like they had been deep; some looked jagged as if a serrated knife had cut a coarse line through his skin. I looked up to eyes, which weren't full of anguish and despair. They were actually void of any emotion, and I wondered how this kid had even done it. How had he gotten away from the violence that he had obviously been around as a child?

"Um, sometimes I dreams about gigantic spiders taking over the town," and this was true. I had had that dream once, and it was the first nightmare that popped into my head when asked to answer the question. I removed my eyes from Kendall's shirtless torso, to be met with his contemplating face.

"You wouldn't lie to me, right? You really had a nightmare about gigantic spiders," I nodded. He lay back down, pulling the covers back over him, but he didn't pull them up to cover his head.

"Do you like nightmares?"

"No one likes nightmares Kendall."

"They scare me."

"They scare everyone."

"Have you ever seen brains?"

I blinked wondering wherever had that come from.

"Brains?"

"Yeah, like real life ones?"

"No I haven't."

"I have, it looked like spaghetti, and now I hate spaghetti."

I bit down on bottom lip, trying to decipher what to do next. I wondered what to do, but I couldn't think of anything to say, so we just sat in silence.

"Do you like me?"

I raised my eye-brows wondering where all these questions were coming from. This is the most Kendall had ever talked to me, and wondered why he was doing this. Maybe it was the change of location, he simply felt safer in the familiarity of his own bedroom. Or maybe they were questions he had always wanted answered but had never had anyone to ask before. Either way it was completely out of the blue, the randomness of it all utterly bizarre to me.

"Of course I like you Ken, I wouldn't be here if I didn't."

"No but I mean, do you really like me, like really, really like me."

"Of course I do, as I said I wouldn't be here-"

"You're lying," he accused. It wasn't announced with any venom is his voice. It was simply stated as if we were talking about the weather once again.

"I'm not lying."

"Yes you are. It's your job to be here. That's why you're here, it's your job. You're not here because you like me, your just here because you get paid to be here," I frowned at these words.

"That's not true, I mean yes it is my job, and yes I get paid but that doesn't mean that I don't like you. I do like you Kendall and you can trust me when I say I'm not lying," he considered me words before shrugging, and beginning to examine the grime under his fingernails.

"You believe me don't you?" I asked.

"I don't know, maybe but probably not. But still maybe, I'm not sure. Your weird, I don't like it. I can't tell what you're thinking and I don't like it."

"Can you tell what other people are thinking?"

"Sometimes, like Mister Diamond. He gets sad around me a lot. I don't know why, but he does. It's weird like you are. And then Bryan the man who brings me to you, he doesn't like me. I think I annoy him. I don't know why though. I don't try to annoy him. But I always manage to do so anyway. It's weird, everything's weird, but then nothings weird at the same time."

I wasn't sure what to make of all this. But I was happy to be a part of this conversation. It just showed that perhaps there was hope for Kendall yet.

* * *

The day after Kendall and I had had that conversation was the day for me to go into Carlos' class to speak about my job. I was a little worried, not because I had to talk in front of a bunch of kids, but because of the fact Carlos hadn't shown up at my house last night. Two nights in a row I hadn't seen him and I felt something was definitely wrong in the very depths of my stomach. I had thought about going over to his house last night, but I decided against it. He didn't have to show up to my house every night, and tonight was one of our night together anyway, so I knew if I didn't see him then, that something was definitely out of place. I was just glad that I was getting to see him now, to make sure he was okay. As I walked through the school grounds I went over what I was going to say in my head. I didn't have anything planned, I was just going to wing it something that I did often. His school wasn't the flashiest of schools I had ever seen, but it was good enough. I walked into the office asking for Carlos classroom. The lovely woman at the front desk told me where to go, putting in a call to Carlos' classroom to tell the teacher I was on my way up. I had no trouble finding my way there.

"He is coming you doofus!" I heard yelling as I approached the open classroom door. I quickly ran in surprised by what I saw. Carlos had another boy in the class pinned to the ground, the teacher a young woman trying to pull him off the kid.

"Carlos!" I shouted, he immediately got off of the boy and ran over to me, clinging to my leg.

"I told you my dad was coming you doody head!" Carlos shouted poking his tongue out at the other boy. I looked at the rest of the classroom, most of the kids staring at Carlos with hesitant expressions. The teachers looked up at me, her hair all out of place from what had once been a neat cut bun, her breathing slightly uneven from trying to stop the two boys from fighting. She gave me a strange look, her eyes narrowed in confusion before she turned to the other children.

"C-Class," she stuttered out. "Settle down, settle down," the class went dead silent. She looked up to me before looking directly at Carlos.

"Carlos you will be going to the principal's office right this instance-"

"But he started it-"

"And you will not interrupt me!" This woman, not matter how sweet she looked, was clearly very scary, because Carlos did as he was told not shouting out some smart alec retort, turning on his heel and marching out of class, arms folded across his chest. I turned back to the teacher.

"Maybe I should go with him," she nodded, as I left the class hurriedly after Carlos. I found him sitting outside the principal's office, a nasty scowl plastered over his face. I moved to kneel in front of him.

"Carlos-"I began placing a hand on my shoulder, but he interrupted me.

"He started it. He was being mean."

"Okay well how was he being mean?" Carlos let out a huff.

"Well when Miss Berry said you were coming in, Allen that stupid meany, said I was lying, and that my dad wasn't going to come because I don't have a dad. And then I told him that I did and that you were coming and he told me I was lying again and that I was stupid and that was why I had no dad in the first place."

I could see Carlos was about to cry so I pulled him into a hug, holding him tightly. He didn't break though. I knew how strong he was for a little child, and I knew he was fighting not to cry in front of me. I pet his hair, before pulling back my hands still on his shoulders.

"I know what he said was wrong Carlos, but you can't react to him in that way. Violence is never the answer Carlos, so instead you should've gone to the teacher and told her what was happening. Then maybe it would Allen here instead of you," I told him. "But you are right. Allen should not have said those things, so when I go into the principal's office with you I'll make sure to tell him what Allen was doing as well okay. But Carlos, if the principal decided to punish you, you need to accept that, take you punishment and learn from it okay," Carlos heaved a sigh and then nodded.

"Carlos, the principal is waiting for you," the two of us stood up and entered the principal's office.

The principal was a middle aged man named Mister Forkner. He was gentle and when Carlos explained what happened, he listened intently. Of course Carlos got punished a two lunch times detentions, which I was proud to see that Carlos nodded accepting my advice. I then explained to the Mister Forkner about Allen and he said that Allen would definitely being getting some punishment as well. I was glad to hear that.

"Okay Carlos, you can go," I stood as well, but Mister Forkner asked me to stay behind. I ushered Carlos off before taking my seat.

"Is there something else we need to discuss Mr Forkner?" I asked.

"Please call me Jake, and yes there is. First I was just wondering what your relationship is with Carlos. Are you his step-father or-"

"Oh gosh no, I volunteer as a big brother in the big brother little brother program."

I wondered why he was asking me this until he continued on.

"Well, Carlos seems very fond of you. I take it you've become sort of a father-like figure to him?"

"I guess you could say so."

"Well I do have some problems with Carlos. I've been trying to get in contact with his mother to talk to her about these problems. We've sent out letters which she hasn't replied to and because we have no other way of contacting her we haven't been able to discuss these problems," I sighed nodding.

"Carlos' mother probably isn't someone worth talking to."

"I was beginning to figure this, so I was wondering perhaps if I could talk to you about these issues," I was a little stunned but I nodded.

Jake went on to explain to me that, that wasn't the first time Carlos, had been sent to his office. In fact there were many more times than just that one. Carlos was prone to starting fights, which seemed so unlike the fun child I knew. Jake said he wasn't always the one who started it, but it seemed he was always the one to finish it. As Jake went on, I found myself becoming more and more worried. Carlos had learning difficulties. Jake talked of him not passing third grade having to be held back a year. He suggested getting a tutor. He also talked of Carlos' behaviour within school. There wasn't just the fighting. Sometimes he would steal things. He had tried to steal food from the cafeteria, he had tried to steal colouring pencils from another student, tried to steal money out of teacher's purse. When Jake said what came next, my jaw almost dropped to the floor. Apparently Carlos had once touched another boy inappropriately; at least that was how the other boy had described it. Carlos swore it was an accident and that the other boy was lying.

"Listen, I don't want to expel Carlos, I've already suspended him after the thieving incident with the teacher, but I know there's good in the kid. For the last month he's been a delight. In fact I haven't seen him in any trouble for the last month. He went back to his olds ways for a couple of months back but for a spell before that to, he was a good kid. I feel like maybe it has something to do with his home life…" Jake trailed off not wanting to push it too far. I agreed with him though. He was probably stealing food because he hadn't been fed, probably stealing money to take home to his parents so they could buy necessities for him. The fighting and inappropriately touching had me worried though, there was something definitely not right about that.

"Do you think perhaps you could have a talk with him? Because if there is another incident, I'm not going to have any other choice than to expel him." I nodded regrettably, and upon realising this was the end of our conversation, I stood up shaking Jakes hand before leaving. I went back to my car with only one thought in my mind; I had to get to the bottom of Carlos' problems.

I picked Carlos up that night from school. I left the clinic early to do so. I didn't want him simply not showing up to my house again. The entire ride to his school was one of anxiousness. I pulled up into the parking lot, walking to his classroom. I waited outside and when he came out he didn't seem happy to see me. He walked over to me nonetheless with his ratty schoolbag in hand.

"Hey," he said dejectedly.

"Hey."

"Do you hate me now?" I shook my head.

"No I don't hate you, now I have a treat for you," I knew it was probably a strange thing to do, reward Carlos after what he had done, but I felt the need to do it.

We ended up at a small café where Carlos was allowed to order whatever he wanted. I thought he would order a corndog, but instead he got dinosaur shaped nuggets. He shovelled food into his mouth, whilst I sipped my coffee, trying to figure out how to go about this. I placed my cup back on to the table.

"Carlos," I said sweetly. He looked up half a nugget hanging out of his mouth. He sucked it in, swallowing it whole before saying, "Yeah," a cheery smile on his face. It made me wonder how this kid; this sweet, loving kid could ever do the things that Jake said.

"I talked to your principal today," I stated.

"Okay."

"He said you've done some pretty bad things before today, is that right?" Carlos didn't answer me, his chewing slowing down, his eyes not being able to meet mine.

"It's okay Car, I'm not going to growl at you. I just want you to talk to me okay. You can talk to me about anything, you know that."

"Do I have to?" he whined.

"Yes, you do, now come on, I want to know why you would steal things from other people. You know that's not all right don't you," Carlos nodded.

"So why did you do it?"

"I didn't mean to," Carlos whispered.

"So why did you then?"

"I don't know, I don't wanna talk about it, okay. I just want to eat my dino nuggets in peace."

"Well I'm sorry, but this is something we need to discuss. Now I want you tell me why you stole those things."

"Because I wanted to. I didn't have any colouring pencils and she wouldn't share."

"So you took them," Carlos nodded.

"Okay, and what about the food and money."

"I was hungry. And I was took the money to pay the cafeteria lady back for the food I took," I felt so horrible for Carlos. He was a good kid, I knew deep down. I knew that this wasn't the real him, but it was his upbringing. He had probably been starving the day he that food. From the look of the place, and with how many people I knew lived there, they were definitely living in poverty. He probably hadn't eaten anything days. I knew I was going to go and put in another call to social welfare to get Carlos out of there tonight. I just hoped they would listen to me this time. God knows how many times Jo has called them, and they still haven't gotten around to getting Carlos out of the place.

"Carlos," I began slowly, not knowing how to talk about this part of the conversation.

"Mister Forkner talked about another incident, where you-you touched someone where you're not supposed to-"

"I didn't do it on purpose. It was an accident, I swear. I tripped and Benny went and told everyone other things. I didn't do it Logie, I swear," he was so convincing that I believed in on the spot.

"Okay, but you know you're not ever meant to touch anyone like that," Carlos nodded his head hung low.

"And I want you to promise that you're not going to do anymore of those bad things okay."

"As long as your promise that you're not going to do what Ramon did."

I knew what he was referring to, for Ramon had simply given up on Carlos, and I could tell that had hurt the poor child a lot.

"I promise Car, cross my heart," I did a flicking motion with my index finger over my heart.

"I promise to Logie, cross my heart," he did the same thing as me.

With that I only had one last thing to say.

"Carlos, where have you been the last two nights?"

"At home."

"But why haven't you come over to my place like you usually do?' Carlos paused slightly, before looking me up and down.

"My uncle Trevor said I was spending too much time with you."

"Uncle Trevor?"

"Yeah, he says I should be at home more," I nodded wanting to know more about this Uncle Trevor, but I didn't press Carlos about it. I felt like we had done enough talking for one day.

"Okay Carlos, but I want you to know, you can come over anytime, whether your Uncle Trevor says so or not. You're always welcome at my home okay?"

"So you're not mad at me?"

"No I'm not mad at you. But I am mad that I haven't managed to beat you at Candyland yet, I'm going to kick your butt tonight though."

"You are not, you suck at Candyland Logie."

"We'll see Carlos, we'll see."

* * *

I went into the therapy room to have a session with Kendall once again. I waited for him, but this time he did show up, Bryan holding him at the collar. He went for the table, instantly. I was under there merely seconds later. He grabbed my box from me, and began his search finding his book. He hugged it against his chest as if it was his upmost prized possession. I still hadn't looked at it, no matter how much I wanted to.

"Why do we still sit under this table Ken?" I asked him. It did bother me quite some bit. We had almost made it out from under the table, Kendall sitting on the edge, but somehow he had got pulled back in.

"I like it under here," he offered me.

"But why?" he leaned in close, so he could whisper in my ear.

"They can't see me under here."

It all made sense now. He knew they were there, and this offered the best hiding spot from them. Sure he couldn't do anything too big without them noticing, but as he held his book close to his chest I realised he could probably draw under here, without them being able to see. We had managed to stay under here and talk for weeks now, and no one was the wiser.

"You know Ken, I am curious as to what is in that book," he hugged it closer to him, and I knew it was going to be difficult to get him to give it to me. I had to try though. It obviously contained something important.

"Do you think you could let me see what's in it?"

He didn't answer straight away. He didn't look at me for at least five minutes. I continued on and on, really curious as to what this book meant to him.

"Ken, it's okay, you can trust me right. You know you can trust me."

Those were the words that did it, as he gave me a sideways glance before turning to face me, letting the book slip from his tight grip in the slightest of ways. I pushed my hands slowly forward, grasping the book, waiting for Kendall to let go. When he did I was so shocked, I almost dropped the book now placed in my grasps. I held onto it thought just, pulling it closer to me. I watched Kendall's reaction, but all he did was eyes the book in my hand with a stare full of such intensity that it scared me a little. I looked away from him, down at the book. I put my fingertips to the corner and pulled the cover back. The first page was blank. I let out a breath I hadn't realised I had been holding. The first page was empty. I could see the faint tracing of a picture under that page though. So I went through the same motion, slowly placing my fingertips to the corner of the page before pulling it back. What I saw was shocking.

It was the same man Kendall had drawn in finger paint. I could see from the wrinkles on his face, to his elderly features. It was the same accept in this picture the man was up against a wall. A knife's handle protruded from his chest, the fabric of his shirt around it stained red. He was still alive, his hands clasping at knife, his eyes wide in fear. It was so well-drawn, the detail shown with such intricacy. I felt as if I could literally hear the old man's terror-filled screams with his mouth open in what would be a blood-curdling scream. I flicked the page over, again the old man this time hanging from a thin wire that was wrapped around his neck, his head hanging low in death. I flipped the page again and again, each one a new picture of the old man being terrorized in some way. In one he had been run over by a car, his organs laying squished into the black tar, as a vulture fed off of him. Another he was falling off of a cliff, towards sharp edged rocks beneath him. My eyes were filled with such horror with every page I turned but I couldn't stop, until I got to the last page of the book, which was when I closed it.

"I'm going to kill him you know," I looked up to Kendall, to see his face filled with no remorse over what he had just said. His expression was just blank like the empty first page.

"When I get out of here, I'm gunna find him and I'm gunna kill him."

It was then that it dawned on me who this man had to be. I looked back down opening to a random page, to see what I figured to be the horror-stricken face of Kendall's step-father.

* * *

That day I had left the therapy room, wondering what I was to do. Kendall was obviously disturbed. But could I tell anyone. I went to the staff longue which was what I usually did after a session with Kendall. I had case notes that I had to document after every session with Kendall. It simply described what we did, if anything happened, what I had learnt from him.

I had been doing this the entire time. A lot of the time I forgot to fill them out, but I always managed to catch up. That day though had proved troubling. It was strange to say that I had managed quiet easily leave out any records of Kendall speaking. The only documented day of Kendall speaking was when he was put in isolation. I had never recorded anything else. One of my reasoning's for this, was that I felt that if anyone knew they would try to push Kendall to talk to them and if they did this, it could just push him further away from getting better. I knew he wouldn't respond well, if someone tried to force him into something he didn't want to do. There was other reasons though, reasons that I was still in denial about; reasons that I couldn't even admit to myself.

I had decide whether to write in about the drawings. They were shockingly disturbing, and what Kendall had said to me was even worse. If I didn't document this, then if he was ever let who knew what could happen, but it was not as if he was putting anyone in any immediate danger as of right now. Right now, it was just speculation. Who was to say he would definitely go out and kill his step-father? If I did document it though, anyone who read it would think the worst. They would think he was psychotic. He would never be able to lead any type of life, if I wrote this down.

_Kendall exhibits disturbing behave-_

I rubbed that out, and tried again.

_Kendall had shown within the means of pictures and his own words, mentally psycho-_

I rubbed that out as well.

I didn't know what to do.

"How's it going?" I jumped five feet into the air when James snuck up from behind me.

"Jesus, what the fuck," I blinked, James looking at me frowning.

"Wow someone's in a bad mood," he raised his eye-brows at my behaviour, which I was a little surprised at to. I rarely ever swore, having been around kids for a great part of my life, I had learnt not to use foul language in front of them. I shrugged whispering sorry, watching as James moved over to the counter to make himself a cup of coffee. I decided not to write anything more, especially with James right in front of me.

"So ah, what's up? You seem kind of stressed?"

Not wanting to say anything about Kendall, I went on to talk about Carlos, "Yeah, I guess, just you remember that little kid who was in my office when we were researching into Kendall's mother," James nodded. "He is having some trouble."

"Wanna talk about it?" James said.

I explained to James all about Carlos, watching him nod as he listened.

"Sounds tough man."

"Tell me about it."

We sat quietly for a little bit before James said out of the blue, "My girlfriend dumped me last night."

I wasn't really expecting anything like that to come out of James' mouth, and I wasn't sure what to about it either. I didn't really know why I said it or what I was even thinking but before I could shut my mouth; the words were left out in the open hanging heavy in their air.

"I thought you were gay?" my cheeks blushed red instantaneously.

"I-I mean-I just thought-"

"You really thought I was gay."

"I just-your hair is always so shiny and perfect," I was digging myself a deeper hole.

"So because I have good hair care maintenance, that makes me gay," he laughed.

"Sorry, I like tits not dick man."

He didn't seem angry at my assumption, sipping his coffee with a smirk upon his lips.

"I'm sorry about your girlfriend."

"Eh, I'm pretty sure she was cheating on me anyway."

"That sucks."

"Tell me about it. What about you?"

"What about me?"

"You got anyone waiting for you at home," I shook my head.

"My boyfriend dumped me awhile back," James stopped mid-sip, his cup hanging in the air.

"Wait your-your-"

"Gay James, yes," his eyes-brows arched up high.

"Wow, I was not expecting that," he placed his cup back on the table.

"You don't have to worry with the earlier comment and all. I'm not trying to hit on you or anything."

"I didn't think you were. Besides we would totally not work."

"How do you figure?"

"Well for one, where my hair is perfect your looks like a mop. You need to get a cut," I burst out laughing at that.

"Thanks for that."

"Just being honest with you man."

That afternoon relived my stress slightly. I was able to have a good laugh with James, and put all my worries behind me, forgetting all together to write up anything about the drawings in Kendall's case files.

* * *

Days turned into weeks and before I knew it another month had passed by. Carlos had kept his promise and had stayed out of trouble. He stayed at my house on a regular basis, and when he would miss a day he always showed up the next night. Kendall was now talking to me every session. Whether it would be a few words, sentences, or we even spent the whole time reading a book he was talking to me. Things at the clinic were fine as well. Camille was always a pleasure. I wanted more though. Especially when it came to Kendall. We were talking now, that part of our relationship was established. But I now needed to take the next step. The whole reason I was there, was to prepare Kendall enough to be able to live in perhaps a foster home for adults, or a group home. The whole point was to get him ready to interact with others at a normal level of behaviour. I had gotten him to do this with me, but no one else. I knew he hadn't talked to anyone other than me or outside of our sessions. I would've been told immediately if so. So that was the next step; to get him to interact with others.

"I don't know how I'm going to do this," I groaned.

Camille sat at her desk, typing up case notes on her computer. I was talking to myself more than anything. She just happened to be there, and overhear me say this.

"What don't you know how you're going to do?" she swivelled her chair over to my desk, propping herself up on her elbows like the first time we had met.

"You know Kendall?"

"Sure do."

"Well, I've decided it's time to get him to start talking to other people," Camille was the only other person besides myself and Kendall that knew he had talked. I felt comfortable with Camille knowing such things. We shared cases with each other to try and each other all the time, so this was not something new to us.

"You're right, that is going to be hard."

"Thanks for the help," I spoke sarcastically.

"You're welcome," she laughed before turning serious once more.

"Well I mean, look how long it took you to get him to open up. Months. You can't do the same with every person."

"I know that," I said a little agitated.

"Well why don't you try and get him out of the institute. Take him to normal civilisation," she joked laughing, but I didn't laugh thinking it was brilliant idea.

"Camille that's great, I could just kiss you," so I did on the forehead, before speed walking out of the office.

"Next time on the lips sweetheart!" I heard her yell from behind me as I left the clinic.

I got into my car, driving over to the institute. I wasn't due for another hour there but I figured they would allow Kendall to come early. I couldn't believe I hadn't thought of that. Taking Kendall out in normalisation would be the perfect way to get him out and about, experience what he probably never had. At the institute you were allowed to go out of the place for a limited amount of time as long as you had someone with you at all times. I would be with Kendall so I thought it would be the perfect idea.

I pulled up and went to the front desk. I instantly asked if it were possible to do so, the lady there telling me to wait while she called her supervisor. A man came out twenty minutes later, greeting me and shaking my hand. He was tall, stick thin with coal black hair. He looked creepy to me, but he was person I needed to talk to, to get Kendall back out into the real world.

When I voiced what I wanted to do, the man who introduced himself as doctor gayer laughed at me. He stopped chuckling when he realised I was serious.

"Son," he spoke in a nasally voice. "Kendall Knight hasn't left the institute since he was admitted here by the states care. He refuses to in fact. He won't even interact with the other people here by going outside or into the rumpus room. All he does is sit in his room, or in that therapy room with you. He refuses to do anything else, so if you want to get him out of here be my guest. He will have one hour from the time he leaves, but let me tell you, you'll have one hell of a time trying to get him out of here."

I had known Kendall had problems. That part was obvious. But I never would've thought he had never left the institute. They were allowed free time outside or in the rumpus room, and Kendall hadn't even been able to manage that. I knew he wouldn't interact with any of the other people here, but that didn't make me think he would simply live in absolute isolation.

I entered the therapy room, having already sent for Kendall to go there. I waited until Bryan once again came, holding Kendall by the scruff of his neck. As always Kendall scurried under the table directly after being let go. I got under there with him. He wasn't rocking or anything; that was long gone, but he had started to fiddle with the hem of his shirt as of late.

"Why are you early?" He asked me. I took a deep breath, no longer having any confidence in what I was trying to do.

"Well…" I started, "I was thinking maybe we could go out today. Maybe we could buy you some more fitting clothes."

Kendall began to rock and I was proved right. This plan was futile from the start.

"Out no, can't go out, outside bad, bad, very bad, bad things happen outside, no outside, no outside, don't want to go, don't make me go, don't make me go," his eyes were full of terror at the mere thought.

"But you want to get out of here one day don't you. You don't want to be stuck here forever do you?" I tried, but it was pointless.

"One day, not now, not now, not now, one day but not now. When I'm older, much, much older, but not now, not now, can't go outside, outside bad, bad things happen outside."

Kendall was just speaking gibberish now, and it upset me to no end. The rest of the sesson was spent trying to calm Kendall. I guessed I would need to go back to Camille for another plan. Hopefully she would come up with something to help me, because I would be damned if I didn't help this boy, to one day live within the realms of normality.

* * *

**Love it? Hate it? Review it.**

_Question: Okay obvious question if you read the top authors note. What did you take from the passage about Carlos? What do you think is in store for his character? (I ask this because I want to know whether I made it obvious or not)_

**Yours Sincerely**

_WindowsDown22_


	8. Coming To Light

**Ok, I'm not sure what to think of this chapter.**

**I don't know whether it's good or not, but I hope you guys enjoy it.**

**I would like to say shit just got real, but it hasn't just yet.**

**Oh and I'm sorry but there will be no updates for the next couple of weeks on any of my stories. Well there might be, I'm unsure but if there isn't I did tell you guys. I have two major assessments due, plus practise exams so I'm kind of swamped with all this work. If I find the time to update I will but sorry if I don't.**

**Also after my exams I plan on writing a new story as I have two weeks of holidays. I have three ideas and I've put a poll up so go and vote please. I want to branch out in the pairings so that of Jagan and Kames/Cargan are involved. Please go vote as to what story you want to see next from me.**

* * *

**Zoo Boy**

**Chapter 8**

**Coming to light**

**Thanks to** _Ritdall, LittleWing, Rhett9, hermione1287, anykindofgirl, yuki-chan name is yuki-chan, wazaaimajewnicorn, DMonsterz, Myris21D, SwagLikeErin, lonelytabookid, animewolf123456, Lonelygrl91, Wow23, Cookie Monster Giggles, BreakFree, Chey21, Guest, lily, Mr. President 64, Carphanie, kat4543, Xbigtimerusherx, winterschild11, GhostGirl51, LoveSparkle, RushersRuleTheWorld97, Candid-Canoe and FrozenOnTheInside_ **for all of your lovely favs, alerts and reviews. Keep them coming pretty please.**

* * *

The next day after my failed attempt with Kendall, I sat in my office swinging around in circles on my chair. I didn't particularly know what to make of what had happened. Kendall was no way near in the right state of mind to be leaving the Palmwoods to interact with others, but that was what I had been hired to do. I sighed in frustration as these thoughts went round in round in my head.

"I take it things didn't go well?" Camille asked me, as she entered the office. I looked up, startled by her sudden appearance before I sombrely nodded.

"Tell me how things went," she said, pulling her chair over to be sitting next to me. I explained how Kendall had at first rambled on about how the outside was bad. Then how he had become a little violent, which I was glad it was something that I been able to calm him down from. It hadn't been so bad. He had thrown a chair across the room, before I had managed to stop things from going any further. The he had shut me out. He had crawled under the table, started to rock back and forth once more, and I had not been able to get even a peep out of him. I looked towards Camille, her facial expression suggesting she was mulling things over.

"So you didn't find out why he wouldn't leave the Palmwoods?" She finally asked.

"No he just kept going on about how bad the outside was, over and over again," Camille went back to looking thoughtful.

"Is it just you on this particular case?"

"Yeah, I have help from his social worker James Diamond," Camille nodded.

"Well maybe you should take someone along with you, get a second opinion or whatever."

"No!" I immediately responded, shouting in which surprised even myself.

"Whoa okay, didn't realise you were so adamant about doing this all yourself," I sighed.

"It's not that, it's just he trusts me, and we've made so much progress. Bringing someone else in, might ruin all that. They don't know him like I do; know his case like I do. They might do something to upset him and then we could end up back at square one."

"Well take someone with you just to observe. Then after your session they can tell you there opinion on what you should do. I fresh set of eyes isn't always a bad thing Logan."

"I know but, I just don't want to upset him."

"It's up to you in the end, but if I were you I wouldn't take a male figure," my eye-brows furrowed together when she said this.

"Because of his step-father," Camille finished, which I in turn nodded to. I had forgotten how much she actually knew about the cases, as over the weeks we'd known each other, she had become one of my confidents. I always talked to her about what I should do next with Kendall, and she was usually quite helpful.

"You don't want to take someone who might remind him of the man, plus he's more likely to open up to a woman, someone who is gentle and has patience."

"Well if he's more likely to open up to a woman, why was I the first person he ever spoke to?"

"I don't know, you give off kind and compassionate vibes. He probably picked up on that."

"He did say he was good at reading people."

"Exactly, so just find someone who's like you, but you probably also want someone who will push him a bit more."

"Push him?"

"Yeah, you are a good guy Logan, but to me it seems like he needs someone who going to push him more than he's comfortable with. Take him out of his comfort zone. You've got the kind and compassionate thing going down which has worked for you so far, but now you need someone who will not help him, but make him take that next step."

"Don't you think that sounds a little harsh? Kendall needs to come around to this on his own terms."

"And how long do you think that will take him. Years, possibly even never. This kid sounds like he needs a kind yet hard woman. That way she can show him compassion but be strict without being overly domineering like a man would come off as."

I felt that Camille was mostly right about everything that she said, but I was definitely apprehensive. I didn't know how Kendall would react towards someone new, but it was always worth a shot. As I was thinking a smile graced my face, as I looked towards Camille.

"Hey Camille."

"Yeah," she looked up having returned to her desk, to write up some case notes.

"You work abuse cases."

"That I do," I put a hopeful look on my face, waiting for to connect the dots but when she didn't. I rolled my eyes in turn hoping she would soon get it.

"And you're a woman?" I continued, waiting for the light bulb to appear over her head.

"Last time I checked I was?"

She still wasn't putting two and two together, so I finally just asked her, "Would you like to come along to one of my sessions with Kendall?"

She seemed a little surprised that I had asked.

"Logan, I'm not sure I'm right for this-"

"Of course you are. You're everything that you just described, plus you have experience with children who have been abused. I'm not close with anyone else here, and I don't trust anyone enough to take them with me, other than you," I tried to pout, in hopes of convincing her, which seemed to work. She rolled her eyes smiling.

"Well how can I say no to that adorable face."

So that afternoon I arrived at Kendall's session Camille alongside me. She seemed nervous, but confident at the same time. The same could not be said for me. I was freaking out. I trusted Camille sure, but now I was feeling that this was the wrong move. Was Kendall ready to have someone else come into his life like this, completely out of the blue without any real warning. What if he freaked out? What if he forgets about everything that we've worked towards?

"Logan stop shaking, your making me more nervous than I already am?" Camille hissed. I hadn't even realised I had been shaking.

"I'm sorry, but maybe this was the wrong idea."

"It wasn't, and you're the one that asked me remember. Now let's do this okay," she pointed towards the door, to the room where Kendall was waiting for me-us I now had to remember.

"Okay, wait out here. I'm going to talk to Kendall for a bit. I'll come out and get you when we're ready," I definitely had to give Kendall some warning before Camille just barged on in. She nodded as I slowly turned, pulling the door back to enter the room.

I saw Kendall waiting for me as per-usual. What surprised me was that he was sitting on top of the table, his legs crossed, his arms hugging his chest tightly. He had started to come out from under the table more and more, but it had never been like this. He sat there plainly, as if this was normal. It wasn't though.

"Are you mad at me?" he first asked. My thoughts went straight to the one sided mirror wondering if anyone stood behind it. If there were people there, they would know that Kendall had talked to me. I had yet to tell anyone, the only incident of them every hearing a peep from Kendall, still remaining to be when he had had his screaming fit. I wondered if I should stop him, but then I realised there was no point. They were going to find out eventually so why not now. I immediately shook my head, moving to sit next to him as he had moved over for me to do so.

"What no, why would I be mad at you?"

"Because of yesterday," I again shook my head, putting my hand on his shoulder giving it a little squeeze.

"Of course not Kendall. It was just a little set back, but we'll get through this eventually okay, but for now, I have something to ask you."

Kendall turned his head towards me, pursing his lips together.

"What is it?" his voice was low, almost in a deadly sort of way, but I sensed there was more fear behind it than anything.

"It's okay, I just-I thought perhaps I could bring a friend in here. Would that be okay with you?"

"Bring someone in here, other than you. No!" Kendall was off of the table in a flash, but unlike other times when he would crawl under the table in hopes of being safe, he began to pace right in front of me. Back and forth, back and forth, much like when he had been rocking, but there was no panicky sort of fear that he hid behind. He seemed angry.

"Kendall she's really lovely. Her names Camille-"

"I don't care what her name is!" Kendall shouted at me. "I don't want her here. I don't want anyone here but you!" I tried to hide my laughing, because of how childish Kendall was acting. This boy who was almost a man acting like a child, it really was quite ridiculous. His voice was all whiny, like a kid who had had his favourite toy taken away from him. He was stomping his feet, his face scrunched up into an adorable pout. When he looked up at me, he realised I was trying to hold back my laughter. I don't know how it had happened, but all of a sudden his face broke out into a grin as he chuckled along with me. He moved to sit back on the table, his legs dangling off of it.

"Why do you want her here anyway?" He asked me shyly.

"Because I think she can help you, help me to help you."

"But she's probably dumb. I don't like her."

"You haven't even met her."

"I don't need to meet her to know I don't like her. She's stupid."

I watched as he kicked his legs back and forth, wondering how I was going to go about this.

"Is this because of yesterday? Because you were lying about not being mad at me."

"I'm not mad at you, I promise. But I guess this is a little about yesterday. I just think it would be good for Camille to try and help us. Maybe we could get over some of the fears you have," Kendall tensed up at those words, but he didn't say anything.

"If I bring her in now, do you promise to be nice?" I asked hopefully.

"I can't promise anything," Kendall replied. I knew I wasn't going to get anything out of him after that, so I reluctantly stood.

"Well she's just going to observe today okay, so you don't even need to talk to her if you don't want to," Kendall didn't say anything, so I moved towards the door and opened it.

Camille stood just before the doorway, looking reluctant to come in.

"It's okay," I soothed, stepping aside to let her in. She moved forward, as I pulled a seat away from the table to let her sit on. The reaction I was getting from Kendall was completely unexpected. He wasn't shying away from her, being scared, racing to get back under the table. Instead he simply sat before her on top of the table, his eyes narrowed into threatening slits.

"Kendall this is Camille," I introduced them.

"Hello Kendall, it's nice to meet you," Camille held out her hand, but Kendall simply stuck his nose up in return. I was so shocked by how Kendall was reacting. I had expected him to be frightened to say the least, but he was actually acting like a spoilt brat.

"Kendall, be polite," I tried, but he shook his head, getting off the table, grabbing my hand and pulling over to a corner opposite Camille. He then sat me down, before moving to sit my lap, his head resting against my chest.

"I don't like her," He whispered. I didn't really mind the position we were sitting in, so I put my hands around his slim waist, pulling him close to me.

"Well you should at least try to like her, because she's a really awesome person-"

"Do you think I'm awesome?" Kendall asked out of the blue.

"O-Of course I think your awesome Kendall, but back to Camille-"

"You stuttered, you like her more than me."

"What Kendall, when did this become about who I liked more-"

"Because she's trying to steal you from me."

Our conversation was being held in hushed whispers, and I was glad for that as I didn't want Camille to hear any of what we were saying. The conversations normally held between Kendall and I were private, and now that Camille was here I had to come to terms with them not being so. But when Kendall said this I was definitely taken aback. I looked over to Camille, hoping she couldn't hear what we were saying but there was something behind her gaze when our eyes connected that made me frown.

"She's not trying to steal me from you," I replied, trying to keep my voice down as I turned back to Kendall.

"Yes she is. I can tell. She likes you, as in likes you likes you and she wants you all for herself."

I thought back to the first day I had met Camille and how she had come on to me. Could it be possible that even though I had told her I was gay, that there were still some feelings there? No, I said inwardly shaking my head. We had become friends and that was all there was to it.

"Kendall…Camille's just my friend-"

"No I can tell, do you like her back?"

"No Kendall I don't like her back, she's just a friend-"

"No she isn't!"

"Yes she is!"

Kendall stood up with a hmph, narrowing his eyes into deadly slits.

"I hate her, and I hate you!" Kendall spoke to me, with a venomous hiss as he stood, and walked over to the other corner.

From that point forward, the rest of the session was a waste of time. Kendall sat facing the wall, his arms folded across his chest as he pouted in unhappiness. He wouldn't talk to me, and even Camille attempted to try, even though she was meant to only be observing. That almost set him off, but somehow he managed to control himself. I didn't know how he had done it, but it was utterly strange. I had never seen Kendall have even an inch of self-control going on into frenzied attacks when anything set him off, but today was different.

We left the therapy room, Camille for some reason was smiling.

"Why are you smiling?" I finally asked her, my curiosity getting the better of me. She just laughed a haughty laugh, shaking her head as she did so.

"What's so funny? Do you not understand what just happened? In case you didn't notice Camille he's really angry at me. He wouldn't even talk to me."

"No Logan," Camille spoke turning to me, her eyes now full of seriousness. "He's angry with me."

"No, he doesn't want you there I'll admit that, but he is angry with me for bringing you in the first place. This wasn't a good idea. I should have known-"

"You really don't see it do you?" She interrupted me.

"See what?" Camille sighed in frustration.

"Can't you see that he has a bit of a well…"

"A what Camille?" I was not in the mood for her little games, wanting her to get straight to the point.

"A crush on you," that was not the answer I had been expecting.

"A what on me?"

"A crush on you," it was then that I began to laugh, thinking that Camille was having me on. When I realised she was dead serious, my laughs stopped echoing throughout the empty halls.

"Camille, you cannot be serious?"

"I am," I shook my head, wondering where this absurd idea was coming from.

"No, Camille"

"Yes Logan, that's the reason he doesn't want me there. Couldn't you see it? The moment I walked in he had it in for me, and then he immediately took you over to that little corner-"

"He was scared-"

"No he was trying to stake his claim. Don't think I didn't hear half of that conversation the two of you were trying to be oh so private with. And the way he sat on you-"

"We're just close that's all-"

"That was more than close if you ask me. And I just-the way he was with you. I understand that people in these sorts of cases, get attached to people who try to help them, but there was more to it than that-"

"He doesn't have a crush on me Camille and that's final. I'll be waiting for you in the car."

At that I stormed away not wanting to hear any more of this. I wasn't sure why it annoyed me so much that she would suggest that Kendall had a crush on me. It bugged me though, made me angry at her. I wasn't sure why that was, but all that I knew was that it was a discussion I didn't want to get into with anyone. I entered the car, waiting for Camille. When she entered also I immediately took off, barely leaving her time to close her door. The ride back to the clinic was in silence, and when I pulled up in the car park, I waited for to leave.

"Are we just not going to talk about this?" she asked me.

"No," it was not up for discussion and I was adamant about that.

"Why are you so angry at me?" I didn't answer her.

"Logan…is there something you need to tell me."

"Like what Camille?" I was losing my patience, and the feeling of doing so was foreign to me. I was such a calm person, able to keep my temper, never lose my cool. It was a quality that was needed when working in the line of work that I did. The feelings that were running through me made me feel sick to the stomach but I couldn't control them. It was like I was a whole other person.

"It's-It's nothing Logan…Just remember that you can talk to me about anything. You know that right. It's just-I'm here for you," she reached over, placing her hand on mine, and the kindness of the gesture ridded that uneasy feeling that was settling in the pit of my stomach.

"Thanks Camille, and um, I'm sorry for snapping at you. I just don't know what came over me-"

"It's okay, just remember I'm here for you."

I started to wonder why she kept saying that. Could she see something, that I couldn't. I began to think as to why Camille would continue to say she was here for me, but I drew a blank. I settled for thinking that she meant if I need help with Kendall's case, even though I knew there was definitely more behind Camille's words. I nodded in reply as Camille got out of the car, and went to go to the office. Before she left the car however she left the door open to ask me, "Are you coming in?"

"No I have to get home for Carlos," she nodded already knowing all about Carlos, and what I did for him.

"Okay, well I'll see you tomorrow I guess," I nodded again, the door shutting, as I turned on the car engine and left for home.

* * *

The next day I want back to the Palmwoods by myself. I figured that bringing Camille to Kendall had been a mistake so I had planned to work with him by myself from that point forward. I knew I could do this. I had cured people like this many a times before and they now lived relatively normal life styles. It was just going to be hard work was all, and I was entirely up for it. I made my way towards the therapy room, when I was stopped by a nurse there.

I had only met her a few times before in passing. We had said hi to each other, but I didn't know her personally. I could already tell however that she was one of the nicer people around here. She was old, her face full of gentleness. I knew that she was a woman of kindness, just from looking at her. I went to pass by her again, raising my hand to wave she pulled me aside, a giant smile on her face.

"Um can I help you?"

"I'm Jackie Ormsby," she spoke, her voice full of sweetness just like her face.

"Well hello Jackie, I'm-"

"Logan Mitchell, I know who you are. The man who so generously took on Kendall's case," I nodded wondering where this was heading.

"Well, I know I don't have much to do with Kendall, but I am good friends with James. He talks about the poor boy often, so I just thought I should congratulate you on what you've done."

"What I've done?" I questioned.

"Yes, getting Kendall to break through the silence. It's pretty extraordinary. I thought there was no hope for that poor boy, but here he is chatting away," I smiled now realising that someone must've been behind the mirror yesterday. I wasn't sure how Kendall was going to react to the news that everyone now knew he could talk, but I guessed we would just have to deal with that when we got around to it.

"Well thanks I guess. It's just nice to know that I can help Kendall. He really is a good kid," I felt my stomach clench as I spoke the word kid. I wasn't really sure why. It was so strange, because that was what Kendall was; a kid, on the verge of adulthood. I shook the feeling off smiling at Jackie.

"Well I just thought I'd congratulate you. James is very happy, and I know how badly he's wanted this to happen, ever since he saw Kendall basically, but I'm just glad you've managed to help him," I nodded my head, surprised crossing over my face when Jackie pulled me into a hug. She finally let go leaving me with one last smile as she walked off. That was rather strange, but I shook it off continuing towards the therapy room. When I arrived outside the door though, I stopped in my tracks hearing noises just beyond the door. It sounded like people talking, which was unusual. No one was meant to be in the therapy room other than Kendall. I opened the door, my eyes widening in shock.

There sat both Camille and James with Kendall lying on his stomach. The three of them sat together, wide smile upon their faces as they played a board game. It was hungry, hungry hippo's, the three of them hitting the buttons to try and gobble up all of the little white little balls.

"Camille," I said in disbelief. The three of them looked up, smiles over all their faces.

"Logan, finally come join," she motioned for me to come and sit in the empty spot opposite Kendall, but I shook my head my lips moving into a thin line motioning for her to come to me. She nodded for James to follow her as well, the three of us exiting the room leaving Kendall by himself.

"What the hel-" I began to hiss, the moment the door snapped shut, but was cut off my James pulling me into a big bear hug.

"James what are you-"

"Thank you," he said pulling back, his hands coming to rest upon my shoulders.

"I uh-what-"

"Logan, Kendall actually spoke to me this morning. Do you even know how huge that is? It was out of the blue as well, I mean on minuet he was having one of his fits because of well I still don't know what, and then next I'm trying to calm him down and he starts talking to me."

"Well what did he say?"

"He asked me if Camille was coming back with you?"

"He asked you that?" I looked over to Camille, who nodded shrugging not knowing what this meant either.

"Sure did, and then of course I wondered who Camille was, and so I called up the clinic asking for you, but you weren't in so I asked if a Camille was there, and I got through to this lovely woman," I saw Camille blush at this comment, but I wasn't really too worried about that, more worried by how the three of them had ended up being all buddy buddy.

"So what happened next?"

"Well I talked to Camille, and confirmed that she had been brought in yesterday to observe Kendall, and then she asked if she could come down to talk to Kendall herself. She said she thought she had a way to help Kendall talk to us even more than he had to me this morning-"I narrowed my eyes upon hearing this, wondering what Camille was thinking.

"And so she came down here, and well by a very strange method she got Kendall to be acting like this around us."

"What do you mean by a strange method?" It was at this that I turned to Camille, giving her a look that clearly meant she had a lot of explaining to do.

"Well at first I just wanted to talk to Kendall, straighten a few things out, but then I realised that he wasn't going to give up on thinking that I was out to well steal you from him. You should've seen the way he acted when I actually came into the room," she shook her head at this. "So I basically told Kendall that I had no interest in you, but he wouldn't believe me, so to prove it to him, I told him I had a boyfriend. That was when he started talking to me. He actually asked to meet my boyfriend, and I told him he would have to leave here to do so. We got into a little bit of a tussle there, and he still refused to believe me, so I showed him pictures on my phone-"

"Wait you actually have a boyfriend, well then why did you try to hit on me-"

"Relax Logan, they were pictures of my brother, and trust me it was definitely weird even pretending that he was my boyfriend," she shuddered at the mere thought of it, "But he believed me then, and he kind of opened up to me I guess."

"Opened up to you?' I could barely get the words out of my mouth. How had Camille in one day, gotten Kendall to open up to her in ways that had taken me months to do.

"Yeah."

"Just like that."

"Just like that."

That feeling was back, the feeling that I was losing control. As if I was an entirely different person. I hate this feeling, so I tried to push it down but it wouldn't leave. My next plan was just to ignore it, but it resided in the back of mind, niggling me as I went back to talking to Camille.

"Well how did he open up to you?"

"I mean it wasn't much but he talked to me for a while, mostly about you really. Then James came in-"

"Because I couldn't help myself. This Kendall is entirely different to the scared, shy little guy I once knew," Camille nodded.

"Yeah and then, Kendall asked to play a board game. Said he always like to play them when he was a kid, and that was all we could find to play."

I took a deep breath not sure how to approach this. I shook my head, putting on a fake smile as congrtualted Camille one what had happened. Both James and Camille put it down to me though, saying I was the one who done all of the base work.

When we re-entered the therapy room I began to wonder why I wasn't happy with this outcome. I was so confused, because Kendall becoming less socially inept should be a good thing, but I just felt as if something was wrong. I couldn't pin point what it was, or why I couldn't just be happy for the success that Kendall was having. It just left my mind completely jumbled.

"Hey Logie," Kendall chirped. I smiled down at the blonde headed boy, a surge of pride running through me. I felt like turning to Camille and smirking, having no idea why the feeling to do so was so immense.

"Hey Ken," I replied sitting down next to him. "I hear you talked to James this morning, and now you're playing games with these two. I'm really proud of you Ken," I leaned forward to ruffle his hair, his lips curving up into a cute smile, a light blush tinting his cheeks. My breath hitched in my throat at I thought back to when Camille had blushed like this in front of James. My stomach did a slight flip, not sure what to make of it all. Could Camille have been right? Could Kendall really have a crush on me?

"Do you want to play Logie? This game is so fun," Kendall moved slightly forward, and instinctively I moved backwards. I watched him move to sit on his knees, as he frowned.

"I would love to play," I replied disconnecting the eye contact with those beautiful forest green eyes. _No,_ I cursed inwardly. Beautiful, what was I thinking. My whole body tensed at the thought of the word beautiful. I had just thought that Kendall's eyes were beautiful, but I couldn't. I couldn't have thought that. Maybe I was just tired. I agreed with myself in my head, remembering that I had stayed up late last night with Carlos. He had wanted to keep playing video games and I couldn't deny his adorable little pout. _Yeah that was it_, I told myself ridding myself of every other thought that had to do with what I had just though._ I was just tired. _

As we played the game, I kept glancing up at Kendall, mentally berating myself every time I did so. Throughout the entire game though, I could feel Camille's knowing gaze upon me, and it made me think back to the words she had spoken yesterday when in my car. I'm here for you Logan, the words replaying over and over again in my head for the rest of Kendall's session.

* * *

**Love it? Hate it? Review it.**

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	9. Fear

**Yeah I know I said I wouldn't be updating for two weeks but here I am.**

**I should be doing my school projects, but I couldn't stay away.**

**When I say I won't be updating for a while I'm normally lying.**

**I just say it because I know that I shouldn't be updating, and I don't want people to know that I have a legitimate reason as to why I didn't update.**

**Make sense.**

**I didn't think so either.**

**In summary: I should be doing my homework, but here I am writing for you guys.**

**So, yeah…**

**Also new story up, it's got mental illness in it like this fic but's entirely different. Updated along with this one so please go check it out and REVIEW IT!**

**Hope you enjoy**

* * *

**Zoo Boy**

**Chapter 9**

**Fears**

**Thanks to**_ BTRHenderson31,Brenda1234, KendallMySpidermanInTheVans, DianaMaslowx, SIFIWarriorGirlKoganFan, happypie, winterschild11, Ritdall, Rhett9, Kat4543, daisyforyou, Xbigtimerusherx, Erin G. Allen, PerfectMirror14, BreakFree, Lonelygrl91, SwagLikeErin, Silverflare07, Chay21, LoveSparkle, lilygirl42001, Just Fetching, Cookie Monster Giggles, Wow23, Candid-Canoe and Mr President 64 _**for all your lovely favs, alerts and reviews.**

* * *

I sat aside watching Kendall and Camille as they interacted, with a bitter look upon my face. My arms were crossed over my chest and my lips were turned up into a scowl. The two stood in front of me, Camille and Kendall's fingers intertwined as they danced crazily around the room. Music was playing from a stereo off in the corner, which Kendall had asked me to bring. As it turned out he liked music. Camille was the one to figure that out, which made me all the more hostile towards her. I didn't want to be like this with Camille. I honestly liked her, but ever since she got Kendall to open up to her, things have been different. She has come to every session since, this being for the past two weeks. Well not every session. The first day after it happened, she had to go off to work one of her regular cases. Kendall had thrown a fit when only I had shown up, which did not help my new found feelings of enmity towards Camille.

"Logie, come dance with us," Kendall said slightly out of breath from the vigorous dancing.

"Yeah Logie," Camille teased. I couldn't help but smile up at her, grabbing her outstretched hand and joining in with the duo. We danced around like a bunch of crazies to the thumping beat of the music. Kendall said he liked genres like pop, rock and maybe some R&B. So we brought some pop music for him today.

When finished we collapsed against the wall, all of us in fits of giggles trying to control our ragged breathing.

"T-That was so m-much fun," Kendall managed through his laughter.

"You bet it was buddy," Camille replied.

We sat in silence for a few moments before Camille turned to Kendall.

"Hey Ken," I inwardly growled, pursing my lips together at the use of that nickname. That was what I called him, but I let it go. I had to start getting used to this, I told myself. We were all trying to help Kendall here, and that was the primary focus. I didn't even know why I was feeling this way, the truth buried deep within my mind, where I would not allow it to escape.

"Yeah Cammi," I felt angry, confused, sad. I couldn't explain it even if I had tried to.

"Well I was thinking, well actually both Logan and I were thinking, that we need to start moving forward."

"Moving forward?" Kendall questioned.

"Yes Kendall, moving forward," Camille repeated herself before standing up and moving to be right in front of Kendall and I. I wasn't sure what she was doing, but she outstretched her hands to both of us, helping us to stand up ourselves.

"What are we doing Camille?" I whispered to her.

"Moving forward," she again replied before turning to Kendall. "Now Kendall, I have an idea but for this idea we need to go to your bedroom."

Kendall seemed confused and to be honest so was I. I had no idea what Camille was up to, and that fact upset me. This was my case not hers, but we all just want to help Kendall, and that's what Camille's trying to do, isn't she? Curse the logical side of thinking. I just wanted to be mad at her, for what reasons I was not sure. But how can I be when she is simply trying to help a poor boy in need.

"Why do you want to go there?" Kendall was now fidgeting with the hem of his shirt.

"It's all part of the plan, now why don't you show me the way."

Kendall looked up to me, indecision in his eyes. I nodded, hoping that Camille knew what she was doing. He looked back at her in return before shuffling passed her towards the door.

A few minutes later we arrived outside Kendall's room. I hadn't been in there for a while, so I wasn't sure if change was expected. Kendall seemed hesitant to enter, so I gave him a gentle nudge, hoping to encourage him to open the door. He did, and soon Camille and I were both inside along with Kendall. Turning the light on, I realised there was nothing different. It was exactly the same.

"Okay, great," Camille spoke up, before moving to the wall that lay opposite Kendall's bed. I hadn't realised she was actually holding anything until this point, but as I looked at her I saw that she had a roll of paper in her hand and a roll of sticky tape in the other.

"Okay this is good," she opened the roll of a paper and began to stick it up on the wall. I turned to Kendall and saw that he was watching her intently to, wondering what was going on. When she was finished we both stepped forward. I began to read the paper, eyes widening for why I wasn't sure. It seemed like a good idea, but then I was mad because she should've talked to me first, but the plan was a good one.

"Okay Kendall, this is how it's going to work. We're going to help you get over some of those fears you have all right," Kendall looked blank, perhaps a little unnerved from looking at the paper. Upon the paper was a chart. The chart down the side had a list of everything that Kendall needed to overcome to be able to live within normal civilisation. There was water, spoons, dogs, darkness, water and the biggest one of them all; going outside.

"Now we are going to spend one week trying to move past each fear, and at the end of each week you get a gold star. For every gold star you get, you get one session where we will do whatever you want," It seemed like a good plan. Reward Kendall for getting past what was holding him back, but how would Kendall react to this.

"You see Ken, if you get a gold star, maybe we could have a session of painting, maybe we have a session of playing or listening to music, or dancing like we did today. Whatever you want Kendall we will do every time after you earn a gold star. Does that sound fair?" Kendall didn't respond still looking at the chart.

"But Kendall if you refuse to try and participate in what we're doing then for each session we're not going to be doing what we did today, we'll wait it out until your ready Kendall, and when you're ready to try, we're here to help you do so."

I pulled Camille aside at this, wondering if she was overstepping the boundaries. Had we really earned Kendall's trust enough for us to be making these kinds of decisions so rashly? The boy had gone eight years without speaking; who was to say he couldn't wait us out. Simply take each session without a care, until we end back at square one again. That was what I was most afraid, undoing all of the hard work I had done, but most of all undoing everything that Kendall had achieved.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" I whispered to her, looking over at Kendall who was standing still as a statue looking up at the chart.

"Yes Logan, we need to move forward, and this was the best I could think of."

"But what if he refuses-"

"Then we wait him out," Camille interrupted me, replying rather bluntly.

And so we did. After Camille introduced the chart idea, Kendall refused to speak to us. Every session we would come back, and to Camille's word we sat there. A whole hour in silence. Well not complete silence. Camille and I would sit at the table, talking about anything we could come up with. We talked about our other cases, our past our future, the weather. Every session, Kendall would sit upon the window sill staring out into the vast beyond. He wouldn't look at us, talk to us; he barely eve moved.

After two weeks I had had enough of this. It was two weeks of complete nothing, and even when talking to James he said it was a strange technique. He didn't bash it or anything, but he said that Kendall had a lot more practise at us at being silent. I walked with Camille towards the therapy room, pulling her back before we entered.

"This isn't working," I said to her.

"Logan, we need to have patience okay. That's how this works. We wait for him to be ready and come to us-"

"No what we're doing, is allowing him to fall back into his old patterns-"

"Logan he trusts us, he trusts you. He wouldn't have opened up to you after eight years of trusting no one if he didn't trust you, and that's what's going to get him there. We wait it out, and he'll come to us. If we give in now, it's going to give him an easy way out of not confronting what he needs to. You want him to get better don't you?"

I finally understood what Camille meant about me not giving off compassionate vibes, but not having the ability to push Kendall. She was right. If she wasn't here, Kendall and I would be talking and everything would be fine, but we would be stuck in this rut, heading nowhere. I sighed and nodded before Camille opened the door and we entered.

Immediately I felt the difference. Instead of sitting at the window sill Kendall sat on the table top. He looked pale, and scared, terrified out of his mind.

"Hey Kendall," Camille said. He nodded towards Camille before looking towards me.

"H-Hi Logie," I wanted to rush over and hug him, pull him into my arms and never let him go. I didn't though, smiling brightly replying, "Hey Ken."

I was over by his side after saying this, glad that Camille decided to hang back a bit. I sat down next to him, casually putting my arm around his shoulder. I leaned into my touch which I was glad to see.

"Are you mad at me?" He asked his voice sounding pitiful, like Carlos when he did something wrong, like the time he ate one of my double fudge chocolate chip cookies from my hidden stash that he managed to find, even when I told him not to.

"Hey why would I be mad at you," Kendall shrugged.

"I'm not mad at you Kendall," I replied soothingly looking over to Camille, that knowing glint in her eyes. My breath hitched in my throat as I averted my gaze not wanting to look at her when she had that look about her, like she knew all of my deepest, darkest, desires.

"You promise," I heard Kendall's weak voice say.

"Hey I promise, I'm not mad. But I really want you to think about trying Camille's idea. It's going to help you, don't you want that?" Kendall nodded which I was happy to see.

"But I'm scared," when I saw Kendall's lips trembling and his eyes pooling with tears, I couldn't help but pull him into my warm embrace.

"Hey it's okay," I said rubbing his back soothingly.

"I just-I don't know if I can do it," he whimpered into the crook of my neck, his arms griping me tightly.

"You can do it, and I'll be here every step of the way okay."

"You promise."

"I promise."

"I don't want you to leave me, you gotta promise to not leave me."

"I'll never leave you."

And when I said this I immediately felt my stomach drop. There was a rule I always kept to with all of my cases and that was to never make promises I couldn't keep. When it came to concerned parents I never made promises that I would be able to fully heal their children, when it came to the children I never made promises that they would be able forget all of their troubles and move past everything like it had never happened. I never made promises I couldn't keep and saying that I'll never leave Kendall is most definitely a promise that I can't keep my word on. Eventually he was going to get out of here, he was going to move forward and he wouldn't need me anymore. I would've done my job, and I would no longer be needed. One day, we were going to part ways and that was the inevitable truth. So how could I promise him this? I regretted the words the moment they left my mouth. I couldn't help myself though.

"Do you really promise?" Kendall pulled back, looking up at me with such vulnerability. No one had ever wanted this boy. Not his mother, his father where ever he may be, his step-father, not his friends. No one had ever wanted him, so how could I deny him this. The words slipped out of my mouth before I could stop them.

"I promise."

* * *

Camille and I sat in the clinic after this session with Kendall, in complete silence. We had managed to convince him to try and overcome his fears. We both knew that it was a long and tough road ahead of us, but we were both up for it. I wondered why we weren't celebrating though. We had accomplished what we had been waiting to do for two weeks now and here we were, sitting in silence as if in reality we had accomplished nothing.

"So, are you happy?" I finally asked Camille.

"I'm not sure?" was here reply.

"And why would that be," I sighed.

"Well I just, well I am happy of course. Kendall's going to at least try which is why there is not a reason out there why we shouldn't be jumping up and down in joy right now."

"So why aren't we?"

We both looked up at the same time, simply staring at each other.

"Well I know I'm not because to be honest I'm worried about you."

"Worried about me? Why?"

It took a while for Camille to reply, in that time I could practically hear her brain ticking along trying to figure out how to explain herself.

"Because you're becoming too attached," she finally said,

"And how do you work that one out."

"It's not that hard to be honest."

There is another moment of silence before Camille talks up again.

"I think you should take a step back."

"What's that supposed to mean."

"Exactly what I said," Camille breathed out a sigh of despair before moving from her desk, to sit down in front of me.

"Take a step back," she said again. "Let me run things for a couple of weeks well you get your head sorted and them come back in with a clear line of thought."

"No," I immediately replied.

"Logan-"

"Your right okay, maybe I need to take a step back but that doesn't mean I need to stop completely. I let you take the lead for the next couple of weeks okay. And I'll just be there, because there's no way I can leave him right now-"

"And that's exactly why you should-"

"No!"

"BECAUSE AT SOME POINT YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO!" Camille screamed at me.

We were both breathing heavily, our eyes staring at each other in anger. I managed to calm myself down breathing out a few times.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have yelled at you," Camille finally said.

"It's all right."

"I'm just concerned about how close you're becoming to Kendall. You can understand where I'm coming from can't you."

I nod.

"Look, it's your case, your right on that, so let's go with your idea. Come to his sessions but let me take a bit of the pressure off of you okay."

I nod again.

Camille moves from sitting in front of me to back at her desk. I heard the phone ring, but I was too lost in my thoughts, too much so to even notice Camille pick it up. I heard her speaking but her words were all a blur to me. When she stood up I wondered where she was going.

"Where are you off to?" I asked her. My voice sounded foreign to me. I simply couldn't explain what was going through my head right now.

"Um, well if you must know, James just called me up and we're going out for drinks tonight. I'm going home to get ready."

"James, since when did he even have your number."

"Since I saw him at the supermarket the other day and I gave it to him," she wiggled her eye-brows which made me laugh. The intense mood within the air vanished and it was back to being out normal selves.

"Well you have fun; he is one fine piece of ass," Camille laughed and snorted at the same time, not being able to believe that had just come out of my mouth.

"Should I be worried about having some competition?"

"Relax, I'm not into him, I can just appreciate his beauty."

"But now I'm reconsidering whether my previous decision of asking you to join us is a good idea."

"Well we both know my sex appeal is pretty much irresistible. Maybe even enough to turn James gay," we both laughed and when our giggles died down, a sense of awkwardness began to surround us.

"Well you go out and have fun," I finally said nodding towards the door.

"You sure you don't want to come out, have some fun yourself."

"Na, my night consists of video games, pie and helping Carlos with his homework."

"Sounds glamorous."

"It's better than you think."

"Well good night Logan," she finally said.

"Yeah, good night Camille," and with that she left, leaving me to finish up my work before readying myself to pick Carlos up from school.

The night with Carlos was fun. I had begun to seriously enjoy my time with the kid, not that I hadn't before but things were a little different now. I considered him more than just the kid I look after now. I truly kind of felt like he was well-like he was my son. It sounded strange to even me, but just something about the kid made me love him.

We had a good night. At first I helped him with his homework. Long division it was, which he was having a little trouble with. Carlos wasn't the brightest of the bunch but he was a hard worker. We worked at it until he was done, which earned him some apple pie with whipped cream. Then it was on to video games which we played until his bedtime, which we had set when Carlos got detention for falling asleep in class. I took him to his room, told him a bedtime story until his eyes fluttered closed and he was fast asleep.

It was at three in the morning that I heard a slight whimpering coming from Carlos' room. I got up sleepily, stumbling towards his room. When I made it there, I looked around upon hearing the whimpering again. I turned on the light and saw Carlos curled up into a ball, tears streaming down his face. I could tell he was asleep, for his eyes were still closed, but it looked as if he was having a nightmare. I gently sat down on his bed, gently pushing him to wake him up.

"Car, Carlitos, come on buddy wake up, you're having a night mare," I pushed him a few times, before he shot up in his bed, making me jump back as I was startled.

"Hey buddy," I said trying to calm him, back he was looking around his face panic-striken.

"Hey Carlos, it was just a nightmare," I reached out for him again, but he jumped back looking enraged.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" he screamed at the top of his lungs.

"Carlos calm down," I went to grab him again, but he thrashed in my grasp.

"Let go of me, let me go!" he elbowed me to my ribs which allowed him to get away from me. He jumped up from his bed and ran. For someone so little he was so strong, this was why I felt as if my ribs were bruised from him elbowing me. I stood up before moving out of the room.

"Carlos!" I shouted out to him. When I didn't hear a reply I began to look around. He wasn't in the kitchen, or the lounge of my bedroom-my eyes widened when I saw the front door was open.

"Holly shit!" I cursed running outside. He was nowhere in sight. I began to run up and down the road in panic, shouting out his name, not caring if I woke up my neighbours. My hand were running through my hair, I was panting, and my whole body was dripping sweat. I had lost him, and I didn't know where he was.

"Carlos!" I bellowed, trying to think where he could run to. Would he try running home? I didn't think so, it was too far, but he had walked here once before. I ran off in that direction, not thinking clearly to go back and get my car. I had been running for about fifteen minutes when I came across a playground. I stilled in relief upon seeing Carlos in his pyjama's swinging upon one of the swings. I ran straight to him, grabbing him off of the swing and pulling him into my arms. I held him tightly into my chest, feeling him shaking not only because he was cold but because he was crying.

"Shush, it's okay I'm here, I'm here," I whispered soothingly to him.

"Are you mad at me," and I couldn't help but smile, this reminding me completely of Kendall.

"No I'm not mad at you," I replied pulling back putting my hands on his shoulders.

"You're not."

"Not even in the slightest. I'm just glad you okay."

"I-I'm sorry Logie, I was just scared."

"It's okay to be scared, everyone gets scared."

"Even you?"

"Even me."

"Logie," Carlos paused as he contemplated what he was going to say.

"Yes Carlos."

"I want to stay with you, I don't want to go home, I just want to stay with you forever."

I was taken aback to say the least.

"C-Can I, stay with you f-forever?"

And it was at this point that I made the same mistake within twenty-four hours.

"I'll try my best to make that happen."

"Your promise."

"I promise."

I pulled Carlos back into a hug.

"Just don't do that to me ever again, do you know how worried I was about you."

"I'm sorry Logie."

"It's okay."

When I pulled back again, I looked down at Carlos who was staring at the floor, his foot squishing into the bark upon the playground, his fingers fiddling with the hem of his shirt.

"Is everything okay Carlos?" I asked him.

"Yeah I just-I-can we go home now?"

"Yeah of course we can."

I knew that wasn't what he had wanted to tell me, but I didn't push him. Sleep was already threatening to overtake me, and it was cold. I needed to get the both of us back home, so I picked Carlos up and carried him back to his bed, placing him on the soft mattress before cuddling in next to him, the both of us falling asleep almost instantaneously.

* * *

Time passed by like the days were mere seconds. I never did find out what Carlos wanted to say to me, forgetting about it the next morning. I decided to try and keep up on my promise of trying to get him to stay with me forever. I did some research into adoption but there were a lot of legalities there that I wasn't sure I would be able to get passed. So I researched into other things, like parental consent for me to become Carlos' guardian. I had never officially met Mr or Mrs Garcia but from the way they treated Carlos, allowing him to stay at my place all the time, me being a complete stranger to them, it seemed like they didn't really care. I decided to ask if they would legally make me Carlos guardian. Of course I wouldn't come right out and say it. I would first have to visit them, try and make them see that where he was living isn't a good environment. I found out from Jo, social services had visited the Garcia's but came to the conclusion that Carlos was fine living there. Apparently there was no sign of abuse, they had a roof over their head and the father had a stable job enough to keep money coming in. I shook my head in shock at the system but what could I do? I knew I needed to get their consent to look after Carlos, so I continued to look into it more hoping that it would allow me to come through with my promise.

Kendall was also making more progress than I had ever thought possible. He first came over his fear of spoons. I didn't particularly understand why he had this fear, but the moment Camille sat that down in front of him; he went back to his original antics. It was like he really was Zoo Boy all over again, under the table, rocking, except this time there was a lot of muttering. A lot of muttering under his breath, in a paranoid voice that made me wonder if we would ever truly get through to him. It took us more than a week to get him over that one. We tried each session; Camille would sit a spoon down in front of him at first. It took two days for him to come out from under the table. It took him eight days to finally pick it up. And it took him two weeks to be eating cereal with it.

I couldn't have been prouder when he earned his first gold star. The next session was full of us brining in a guitar which I knew how to play. I played for Kendall, and then taught him some of the chords. He picked up on it rather easily, which I was impressed with. Next was darkness. We decided that we needed to take Kendall's night light down from in his room for this one. He spent four days in isolation because of it, having had a tantrum and then hitting one of medics who tried to administer him a shot of god knows what. But we eventually got the night light down. He cried and cried and pleaded for us to not do it. He really hated the darkness so we took it step by step until three weeks later he slept through a night without his night light. It didn't work that way all the time. We gave the night light to one of the maintenance staff and said if Kendall ever acted out because of the dark, to let him have it, and sometimes he used his night, sometimes he didn't. It still counted to Camille and I however so there went another gold star. We brought in chocolate cake for Kendall the next session. He said he loved chocolate cake and he really wanted some. We ate it all, talking about anything and nothing really.

It went like that. Every little fear that Kendall had we worked passed until it boiled down to the last two fears. Going outside and being in water.

I didn't know how Kendall had done it. He had not showered or bathed or even so much as washed in his hands in his eight years of being here. I learned that the medics would sometimes put him under some sort of drug that allowed them to bathe him without him freaking out. The people who looked after him also made him use hand sanitizer after he went to the bathroom. But the point was, he really had never willingly had a drop of water on him from the moment he had been in here.

"Now Kendall, we are going to try and take a bath today," Camille said.

I could see the fear in Kendall's eyes from the moment that she had spoken, but this was different. Fear had always been present whenever we had done this, but the way he looked didn't describe fear. He was terrified, petrified, scared out of him mind.

"It's okay, now where just going to go to the bathroom and get in the water."

Kendall threw a chair at her, Camille only just managing to duck in time.

"Kendall-"I tried but the table was being thrown to, then all the other chairs and soon Kendall was lashing out throwing his fists around, fighting as if he was trying to stay alive. He ended up in isolation again.

"Why do you think he's so scared of water?" Camille asked me, as she did every time after we tried to confront a new fear of Kendall's. I could only imagine the horrors that had led someone to be so afraid, that they could barely function.

"I just don't know Camille," I replied as I watched Kendall walk back and forth only in his underwear smashing himself up against the wall time and time again, the scars that told of a torturous past visible against his pale skin.

"I just don't know."

* * *

**Love it? Hate it? Review it.**

_Question: Do you think Camille is being to overbearing, or she just being a good friend? (I can't decide for myself)_

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	10. Craziness ensues

**Sooo, I was going to make this a little longer, but the next part just isn't coming to me. So I decided to put up the shorter version just to get it up on here.**

**To hermoine331 I hope the grammar is better in this. I tried to look over it so sorry if I've missed anything.**

**Um stuff goes down in this chapter.**

**Yeah it's pretty crazy, but I've had this planned from the beginning. I hope it's just turned out as good as I hoped it would.**

* * *

**Zoo Boy**

**Chapter 10**

**Craziness ensues **

**Thanks to**_ Newbie-0.0Q, Ieeerr, LoganHendersonLover19, JuneIsAMonth18, waitingFORthePERFECTsong9092 , caitloveslogan, ForeverYoung1D, winterschild11, DianaMaslowx, PlaidSpiderman, Guest, Guest, lilygirl42001, Ritdall, LoveSparkle, suppressedanonymous, BreakFree, Guest, hermoine331, GhostGirl51, lonelytabookid, Wow23, daisyforyou, Mr. President 64, Just Fetching, SwagLikeErin, Chey21, Cookie Monster Giggles and kat4543_** for all of your lovely favs, alert and reviews. They mean the world to me so keep them coming.**

* * *

Things went from good too bad in a matter of seconds.

Kendall came up to both Camille and I, after his attempt to try and take a bath the next day. We had still not succeeded in getting him into water, but it took patience to get through these things obviously. When Kendall approached us I was not sure what to think, and what he said next left me a little flabbergasted.

"I want to go somewhere, will you take me?" He had asked.

"Of course Kendall," Camille said smiling. "Where would you like to go?" Kendall looked down to his feet, rubbing his heels on the floor, biting on his bottom lip. I smiled at how cute he was, before inwardly cursing myself for calling him cute. I quickly looked away, taking a step back upon remembering Camille's and my agreement. I was becoming too attached in ways which I knew I shouldn't be. I needed to back away and let Camille take charge just like we had agreed.

"I can't tell you?" I heard Kendall say, which struck me as odd.

"What do you mean you can't tell us?" Camille asked.

"I just, I want to go somewhere, and I will tell you, but not now. Once we're going there, I'll tell you."

"But if we don't know where we're going Kendall how do you expect us to get there," Camille replied, kneeling down so she could see Kendall's eyes which were hung low.

"I'll tell you how to get there; I just don't want to tell you yet. Can we please just go, I just want to go."

"Well are we going outside?" Kendall nodded, which had even me looking up in wonderment. Kendall actually wanted to go outside.

"Well that's great Kendall, I'm really proud that your using your initiative to help us get you through this," and I couldn't have said it any better.

"So when do you want to go?"

"Tomorrow."

So soon. This had me really intrigued as to why this was. I didn't question Kendall though not wanting to put him off of doing this.

So we set it up for Kendall to leave the next the day, with us alongside him. I was so surprised at this sudden want; this sudden almost need to overcome his fears. Even though Kendall had overcome so much, it wasn't on his own accord. Camille and I always had to push him, and now here he was doing something for his own benefit.

The next day we took Kendall and led him towards the front exit. Everything about this was exciting for me. Once we get him outside, it'll be like he had no fears to begin with. Well except for water. We still hadn't passed this fear, but going outside was just one step further to Kendall getting better. I didn't have any worries about what we were about to do. I assumed it would all go by smoothly, simply because it was what Kendall wanted. If I wasn't so attached to Kendall; if he was simply another patient to me, I would've thought this through, realised there could've been complications. As for smooth sailing, I was completely wrong.

We got to the front exit, Camille holding on to one hand and I the other. He stopped at the front door which was open, looking out into the vast beyond.

"It's okay Kendall," I said soothingly nudging him forward. He stumbled slightly but he was right on the edge of leaving the Palmwoods. He was right there, his foot ready to step over the line. I watched smiling, thinking that he was really going to do it. He then took a few steps back.

"Kendall it's okay, you can do this. You want to do this remember."

He looked back at me, with such a sense of determination. I could see that look in his eyes. He wanted this more than anything. It leads him to again be just upon the verge of exiting what has been his prison for the past eight years. I thought he was going to do it. I thought that after everything this would be it.

He took a step back.

"It's okay Kendall," I tried again, stepping forward and grabbing his hand again. Camille did the same, both of us grasping his hand as he we lead him forward once more. We tried to get him past the border, but he resisted again. He wrenched his hand from our grasps backing up a few steps. I shared a knowing look with Camille feeling belatedly disappointed, as we turned to Kendall and smiled.

"Maybe todays not the day for this Kendall," Camille said. "Maybe we should go back to the therapy room and you know what, we have a piece of your favourite cake waiting for you."

Camille and I had agreed that Kendall showing assertiveness the way he did, stepping up and taking responsibility for moving past all of this deserved a reward. We had a piece of chocolate cake in the staffroom that one of us would go get for him.

Kendall though shook his head, his fingers clenching and unclenching into fists.

"No, I need to do this," his voice was low and deadly, and his jaw locked as he moved forward once more. I watched his determined expression change however the moment he came close to exiting the place, turning to one full of absolute fear. He backed up once again.

"Kendall, it's okay all right. You don't have to do this today?"

But again Kendall tried, and again he failed.

No matter what Camille or I said, Kendall continued to keep trying. We stood there for the entire allotted time for the session, watching Kendall try and try again. At one point he stood right on the boundary of being outside. I watched as he pushed his big toe forward so it was just outside. I was ready to jump up in joy as I thought he would take the next step but the he jumped back as if he had just touched an electric wire. Then he started crying. I was up in a flash by his side, pulling him into a hug.

"It's all right Kendall, its okay," but he shook his head as he clutched at my shirt, sobbing into my chest.

"Maybe we should just try again tomorrow. Tomorrow might be a better day Kendall," but again he shook his head.

"N-No," he stuttered, stepping back from burying his head into my chest. He sniffled slightly before wiping his nose on his sleeve. "I-I need t-to do this t-today."

And I began to wonder what was so important about today. Why today of all days did he need to do this?

"Kendall…what's so important about today."

He didn't reply to me. He simply tried again, and again.

A few hours passed. We had made a few hours spare to take him to where he needed to go, just in case it was a while away. Now it was getting late, and I could see Camille checking her watch every now and again. We had decided to sit down and wait for Kendall to decide on his own whether he could do this or not. Of course he simply wouldn't give in, no matter how many times he failed.

"Okay Kendall," Camille said standing up. "I'm sorry, but we only signed you out for two hours, so now we need to get you back to your room okay, we'll try again tomorrow."

"I can't do this tomorrow though," Kendall said through gritted teeth.

"What can't you do tomorrow?" Camille asked.

But again Kendall didn't say anything, moving forward to the door before moving backwards. Camille turned to me.

"We need to call to the staff. I have to be home soon, my parents are coming over for dinner," Camille whispered to me.

"You go, I'll stay here with him for a bit. See if he can get outside."

"I'm not sure that's a good idea," Camille said which made me roll my eyes.

"I'll be fine, so just go and tell the staff what's happened, and I'll wait here to see if anything happens all right."

Eventually Camille gave in, and went to tell the staff. I waited until she got back, and then she left saying good bye to me, and Kendall who ignored her. He watched her longingly as she simply walked out the door, in the way he wished to.

"Maybe it's time to call it a day Kendall," I tried, standing up to put my hand on his shoulder. He shrugged it off however before trying again.

It went like this for hours. Nothing I tried seemed to make him want to stop. He was so determined, and I couldn't even imagine what it must be like, to want to do something more than anything, and not being able to do it because your fears got in the way, especially something as simple as going outside. We ended up sitting down just upon the boundary between the inside of the Palmwoods and the outside which Kendall so desperately wanted to move out into.

"Kendall, what's so important about today?" I asked again.

He didn't reply, looking down at the ground where he would move his beg toe forward to try and make it outside, and then move it back.

"Kendall please talk to me," I said, moving closer to him, putting my arm around his shoulder. He rested his head on my shoulder, sighing deeply.

"I sometimes wish I was someone else," he said quietly. I had not been expecting this, but I continued to let him speak. Anything he said could be important in helping him.

"Sometimes I wish I was someone cool, someone brave."

"I think you're pretty cool and brave."

"You have to say that," Kendall whispered, his arms moving to wrap around me. I didn't push him away like I should have.

"I don't have to say anything."

"But I'm not cool and I'm not brave. That's why I wish I was," he paused before continuing. "I want to be a fire fighter."

"A fire fighter?"

"Yeah, all fire fighters are cool and brave. They save people's lives, run into burning building and save people. They are brave and I want to be like that, be brave like a fire fighter."

"Well that very admirable of you Kendall," I said, but he looked up at me eyes showing something that I didn't quite understand.

"You don't think I can do it," he stated, his face falling after saying this.

"That's not true. I think you have it in you Kendall, and if you put your mind to it, you can do anything you want to do."

"That's not true either. I am trying to put my mind to getting outside. I want more than anything to just be able to get outside, but I can't."

"That's because you're telling yourself you can't."

"Not it's not, I can tell myself that I can all I want, but it's not going to change anything."

"It might, because I believe in you Kendall. I think you can do this, you just have to believe in yourself to."

"Maybe."

I sighed, trying to think of anything that could help the situation, but nothing coming to mind. We sat there in silence after this. The only sound that there was, was Kendall's foot shuffling forward, trying to move out and then scuffling back.

We sat there for god knows how long, until it started to become dark outside.

"I'm sorry you two," I heard as I turned around. I saw one of the staff walking towards us. I knew of course that it was time to close up. They had a strict curfew at the Palmwoods. I untangled myself from Kendall standing up.

"Kendall, we'll have to do this tomorrow. I know you wanted to do this today, but it will have to wait-"

"No I need to do this today!" Kendall shouted. His voice lowered was intimidating, but there was nothing I could do.

"Kendall I'm sorry, but this place needs to be shut up now-"

"No!"

"Kendall you have to be reasonable. We've been sitting here for how long now? Four…Five hours and you haven't been able to do this, not today, but tomorrow is a different day. So we'll try again tomorrow," I smiled sadly.

"I need to do this today," Kendall whimpered, his eyes pooling with tears. I wanted to sit here with him and keep trying, keep trying because he wanted this so bad, but it was getting too late, and there was no way they were going to let us sit here much longer.

"…I'm sorry Kendall," I helped him up, and he went towards the woman. She grabbed a hold of his hand and began to drag him away. I watched him look back at me with such longing, and I wanted to just have five more minutes with him. At least he was going willingly. Again I was wrong.

"No!" he suddenly screamed and began to struggle.

"I need to do this today!" He screamed nostrils flared eyes wide with anger.

"Ken-"I was cut off as I watched the scene unfold before me. He began to thrash around, breaking free of the woman's grip. She tried to grab a hold of him again, trying to hold onto him to get him back to his room, but he pulled his fist back and punched her right to the nose. She crumpled to the ground holding her nose, which was spurting blood everywhere. I couldn't believe what I had just witnessed. I had never seen Kendall like this, even when he had one of his episodes it was nothing like this. A man was just coming around the corner as the incident began. The man whom I had seen a few times before, ran up trying to stop Kendall from his rampage, by grabbing him trying to control him. Kendall's limbs were flailing everywhere, and soon enough the man was on the ground to and Kendall was coming for me. He didn't look like himself, his eyes dark with anger, his whole face contorted with rage. He looked like an entirely different person, seething with uncontrollable wrath.

"Kendall just calm down please," I tried and then he was swinging at me. I couldn't believe as I managed to duck the first one, but then he was coming for me again. He hit me this time as I hit the deck hard, and then Kendall was hitting me again and again. I curled up in a ball trying to protect myself, but his short sharp blows were worse than I would have ever thought they could be. I was a passive person, I had never been in a fight in my life, and there was no way I could get up with the way Kendall was swinging at me.

"Pathetic…useless… weak!" Kendall shouted at me in a voice that was not his own. If I couldn't see Kendall right now, I would think he was someone else. I let out a yelp as his foot connected with my mid ribs. I let out a chocked scream, before he was pulling me up and shoving me against the wall, my head connecting with it hard. He turned me around so I couldn't see him before he began to mumble under his breath.

"I'm a man mama, I'll show you I'm a man," and then I heard a zip coming undone. I tried to shove Kendall away but he was so strong and had me pinned against the wall with such force.

"I'll do it papa, I'll do it…I'll show you I'm a man."

His hand went to my pants and began to cry, not really knowing what was happening, still dazed and confused because of the punches and kicks I had received to my head.

"K-Ken-Kendall," I sobbed, wanting to get through to him, but nothing was working. I tried to get him off me, but I couldn't and as I looked to the side I saw that the man was still down and the woman was backed in a corner looking beyond scared.

"Please K-Kendall, don't do this!"

And then he was pushed off of me as I collapsed to the floor, shaking because of what had almost happened. I looked up to see one of the medics on top of Kendall, Kendall screaming and shouting and he was given a shot. His voice died down as I collapsed to the floor crying, wondering where things had gone so wrong. I sobbed and I began to think…How on earth had I managed to let this happen?

* * *

I showed up at the clinic next day. I had been checked over by a few of the medics at the institute, and after they patched me up saying that I would be fine to go home, I had. I hadn't been able to sleep at all though, flashing images of Kendall replaying over and over in my mind. I was tired the moment I got out of bed this morning, but I didn't want to take any time off of work. I would just end up thinking about Kendall. I needed a distraction so I walked into my office to see Camille was there. She looked up to smile, but immediately her eyes widened.

"Logan, what happened to you?" She was beside me in seconds, looking me over. I had seen myself in the mirror the night before, and I knew I looked terrible. I had bruises all over my face, a black eye and my mid-ribs and looked even worse.

"How did this happen? Who did this to you, because I swear to god-"

"It's nothing Camille, just let's get on with work today okay," I tried to move towards my desk, but she stopped me.

"Okay seriously, you expect to show up here looking like this and for me to just accept it or something, because seriously I just-"

"Camille!" I shouted, looking at her angrily. I of course felt terrible after yelling at her, for she was just looking out for me, but I just didn't need her to be questioning me about this stuff at the moment for I could barely believe it had happened myself.

"I-I'm sorry, I just don't want to talk about it okay," so Camille nodded, which surprised me and we went about our day as usual. I never felt her wary gaze leave me however. But of course I should've known Camille would keep an eye on me, but the entire day I could feel her eyes upon me. It was getting slightly on my nerves. When it came time to go to the Palmwoods to see Kendall, Camille became more worried. I wasn't sure why.

"Logan, are you okay?"

"I'm fine," I answered as we walked up the steps to the institute.

"Because you're shaking and you look kind of pale."

I ignored her as I ascended the steps and into the institute. The moment I did, the scenery took me back to what had happened. I shuddered, something that Camille didn't fail to notice.

"Logan," she put her hand upon my shoulder, which made me jump slightly. When she had allowed me to calm down, she turned me to face her.

"What happened, tell me now?"

"It's nothing, let's just get on with our job-"

"Logan?"

I turned around to see James coming towards us.

"What are you doing here?" he asked as he came to be by our sides.

"We have a session with Kendall today," I replied as if it was the most obvious answer in the world.

"I know that, I just mean after what happened-"

"What do you mean what happened?" I turned to Camille sighing, wondering if now was the best time to tell her what had happened.

"Kendall attacked me and a few of the staff last night," I sighed.

"Attacked, is that how…" She trailed off letting out a gasp upon realising what was going on.

"Logan, you can't be here."

"Of course I can."

"No you can't. Look at yourself. If he did this to you, you know I can't let you back in the same room as him."

There was protocol on what happens when a patient who is unstable does harm to the person who is working with them. We must stay away from the for a week minimum, before we are re-evaluated along with the patient to see if it is safe that we continue to work with them.

"I know Camille, but you're not really going to go over my head to make sure of that are you?"

"I will if I have to. He did this to you, and there is no way that the day after you should be in the same room with him. There are so many things that could go wrong with you being in the same room with him straight after the attack."

"It doesn't matter anyway," James piped in. "Kendall's going to be in isolation for at least the next four days. He hasn't calmed down from last night, so you won't be able to see him for that time period anyway."

My head went to my hands, wondering what to do. I felt like we had just taken so many steps backwards from all the progress we had made.

"Okay so we'll come back in four days-"

"No you won't be," Camille said, turning to me with a stern look about her.

"A week Logan, that's protocol."

"Are you serious?"

"You stay away from a week otherwise I'll make sure you're taken off of this case."

"Why are you doing this?"

"Because Kendall attacked you, have you looked at yourself because this is not okay Logan? We have to follow protocol on this one."

"Screw protocol," I said to Camille before turning and walking out. I could hear her calling after me and as I looked back I saw James running after her, grabbing her to stop her from coming after me. I just got into my car and left, needing to be away from this all. I drove just for the sake of it, not wanting to go home at all. I didn't know where I was going until I ended up at a small ice-cream parlour. I don't know why I arrived here, maybe because I simply loved ice-cream. Maybe because when I was little and upset this was what my mum would do; take me out to get some ice-cream. I got out of my car and went inside. I ordered a chocolate swirl ice-cream before sitting down and eating it. I just sat there, not knowing what to make of it all. What happened last night was most definitely the worst thing that had ever happened with a patient I had had, and I was now wondering how I was going to face Kendall again. Could I face him? I was so unsure of what was going to happen next, so I simply sat eating my ice-cream, millions of thoughts clouding my mind, the biggest of these being: What was I going to do next?

* * *

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_Question: Why did Kendall have to leave the institute during this day?_

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	11. My story

**Zoo Boy**

**Chapter 11**

**My Story**

**Thanks to **_icanloveyoumorethanthis, Teddybear no1, jenizzleoffdachain, daisyforyou, xXTearsxSTAINxMYxFACEXx, BlueberryNinja, Steffi' , XavierJulius, LoveSparkle, Cookie Monster Giggles, RushersRuleTheWorld97, PerfectMirror14, lilygirl42001, BreakFree, Guest, Mr President64, Guest, Ritdall, winterschild11, SwagLikeErin, Erin G. Allen and kat4543_** for all of you lovely favs, alerts and reviews. Keep them coming.**

And thank you to **icanloveyoumorehthanthis**. It was pointed out that I said Logan's mum took him out for ice-cream in the last chapter when I had previously mentioned that Logan's mum never cared for him. So yeah bit of mistake and I just wanted to let you guys know that I have recognized this thanks to **icanloveyoumorehthanthis** and I'll go back and fix it when I'm not tired because it's half eleven here and yeah…I like my sleep.

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"I want Logan," my voice said, calmly, with no emotion whatsoever. I felt myself hit the wall before me once more.

"I want Logan," my voice said, calmly, with no emotion whatsoever. I felt myself hit the wall before me once more.

"I want Logan," my voice said, calmly, with no emotion whatsoever. I felt myself hit the wall before me once more.

It went on like this for how long I didn't know. I was so hyped on whatever they had induced me with that I really couldn't even remember my own name. All that I knew was that I had done a terrible awful to Logan, something that I could not forgive myself for.

"I want Logan," my voice said, calmly, with no emotion whatsoever. I felt myself hit the wall before me once more.

It was five days later that saw me leaving the isolation room. I knew he wasn't going to come back. I could feel it with every inch of my body, that after what I did I would never see him again. I was put back in my room, where I immediately crawled under my bed. I had done a terrible awful thing; terrible awful. So terrible and awful and…

I cried. I howled. I wailed. I rocked back and forth. I scratched myself until I bled.

He was not coming back. He was never coming back.

I suffered in silence with Camille. She tried to get me outside again. I wouldn't budge. She tried to give me a bath. I wouldn't even speak to her. I wanted my night light back. I didn't like that dark. One day turned into two, then four, then a week had passed and he hadn't come back. He wasn't ever coming back.

A man came in to see me on the sixth day of being without Logan. He was tall, grey hair, wrinkled face, old looking. He smiled down at me. It scared me when he did this. Camille came in alongside him smiling to.

"You must be Kendall," he held his hand out. I wasn't sure what he wanted me to do. I sniffed it, but I wasn't able to identify the smell that lingered on his fingertips. I pulled back looking up at him.

"Well Kendall I'm Trent Longhorne. I work at the clinic with Miss Roberts and I believe you know Mr Mitchell."

I nodded.

He began to ask me questions; questions that I didn't answer.

"Kendall, it's really important that you answer these questions," Camille said, moving to sit next to me. I don't know why she thought I would. I hadn't spoken to her since I had come out of the isolation room. I hadn't spoken to anyone. I didn't know why but I suddenly felt a pull. I looked over at the mirror and for some reason I just knew; I just knew that Logan was behind there. I stood up not bothering to answer why I was doing this when the question was asked. I moved to the mirror being so close that I could just feel his presence near me. I leant my cheek against it, closing my eyes and savouring the moment.

"Kendall, you need to come and sit back down with us," I heard Camille say as she tried to grab me to pull me back to sit with both her and Trent. I shook my head, staying close to the mirror.

"Kendall please come back over here, it's really important that you answer these questions for us," the door opened, and I looked over to see Logan standing before us. I ran to him, wrapping my arms around his neck. He hugged me back which gave me the most amazing feeling.

"Logan this is extremely inappropriate," I heard Trent say. I looked back at him glaring, but Logan stepped in front of me.

"Can't you see that he doesn't want to hurt anyone, especially me?" Logan said and I nodded hoping to get this strange guy to leave Logan and me alone.

"That's not up for you to decide-"

"He hasn't talked to you at all has he?" Logan interrupts.

"Well no but-"

"Kendall tell Mr Longhorne that you'd never hurt me again right, and that you're really sorry for what you did."

"I won't hurt Logan again, and I'm really sorry for what I did," the words tumbled out of my mouth before I even knew what I was saying, but it didn't matter at all. I meant every word that I said.

The next day after this, Logan was back.

We didn't do much that session. I wasn't up to talking. I felt sick. It was because of the look of Logan's face. He had bruises from me. It made my stomach churn.

I sat perched upon the window sill, looking out to the outside world. I couldn't meet his eyes.

"I'm not mad at you Kendall."

Camille and Logan were sitting at the table, Camille looking awkward between the two of us. It was obvious she didn't want Logan to be here. She thought I was going to hurt him again. I wasn't though. I didn't know how to feel about Camille being there. I wanted to have Logan to myself again. Camille is nice, and I do like her but I felt more comfortable with Logan. I felt more…I had never felt anything like I was then. I didn't look back at Logan, just continuing to look out the window.

"If you ever want to talk Kendall, you know I'm right here okay."

That night I had a nightmare. It was twisted and scary. Logan and Camille were there. They looked dark, hellish like demons. My step-dad was there. He hurt me. Katie was there, stained red with her own blood. I awoke in a cold sweat. I felt comforted by my night light which I now had back. But everything was still scary. The worst part was that I couldn't scream. Ever since I had been able to speak again, I had been able to scream during a nightmare. It didn't happen often, and I managed to keep it quiet, but now I couldn't. I couldn't scream. I tried. I tried with everything I had. I wanted to scream, but nothing came out.

Logan was back again the next day. I didn't want to talk to him with Camille there. I wanted to talk to him by myself. I didn't know how to ask though.

"Hey guys," I turned to see Mr Diamond had entered the room. I wasn't sure what to think of this.

"Hello Kendall," he said specifically to me. I bit my bottom lip, curling myself into a ball so that I didn't have to see any of them.

I heard Mr Diamond ask if he could talk to Camille in private. I looked up at this, seeing Camille shaking her head. I became annoyed by this, as I wanted to have time alone with Logan. I didn't want her there.

"Camille, I'll be fine. Seriously you can go."

"I don't think that's a good idea-"

"Camille go."

They argued and I listened hoping that Camille would leave. After ten minutes of waiting she did. I looked up hearing the door close shut.

"I'm not mad at you Kendall," I heard Logan say. I hopped off of my little perch, and moved to sit next to Logan.

"I'm sorry," my voice was raspy, so quiet I wasn't even sure if Logan had heard me.

"Why did you do it?" He asked me. I thought back to that night, but much of it was a blur. I couldn't remember a lot of what happened. I remembered feeling so upset. I wanted to leave so badly, but my whole body protested against me. I was so mad, so angry. My mind went blank and then I was being dragged away, seeing Logan against the wall bloodied and beaten.

"I don't know. I was so angry and upset. I wanted to leave so badly. Why couldn't I leave? I wanted to do badly. So badly. So, so badly. Why couldn't I do it? Why?" I wiped my nose on my sleeve, not being able to meet Logan's eyes.

"It's okay Kendall, I'm not mad at you," and he kept saying that. Over and Over Logan would tell me he wasn't mad at me. I didn't know why. He had every right to be mad at me. So why wasn't he?

"But why aren't you mad at me?"

"Because you didn't mean to right?"

"I didn't mean to at all," and I really didn't. I would never want to hurt Logan. He was the only person who had ever made me feel safe. And I had hurt him. I hated myself.

"I forgive you Kendall, you know that right."

"You do?"

"Of course I do. I know how difficult this must be for you, having the same routine for over eight years, and then having all these changes. And I also know how much you wanted to leave that day. It was just too much wasn't it."

"Yes, but that's no excuse."

"Kendall it's okay. Let's just move forward. How does that sound."

"Good."

We sat together, staring into each other's eyes. I didn't know what I was feeling. It was strange and new to me.

"I want to stay alone," the words fell out of my mouth before I could stop them.

"I'm sorry?"

"Just for today, can it just be you and I again. I want it just like that, please," I whined. Logan smiled at me, before standing to move outside the door. When he came back he was still smiling.

"Camille's going to stay behind the mirror with James. Does that sound all right?"

I nodded.

We sat in silence before a few moments, before Logan moved his chair closer to mine. He grabbed a hold of my hands, and my body reacted in ways that it never had before. It was always like this when it came to Logan, and I wasn't sure why. My palms went sweaty and my heart raced. It was the way it had always been and it scared me. It scared me more than anything ever had before. More than my nightmares. More than my step-father. More than anything.

"I need you to be honest with me," Logan said, squeezing my hands tightly. "Do you think you can do that."

"Maybe," I answered honestly. "It depends what you ask me."

"Kendall, I want you to really try for me all right," I squeeze his hands in return letting him know that I will do as he had asked of me.

"Okay Kendall, I want you to tell me, why you had to leave that day. Why was it so important to you?" I bit down on my lip, wondering if I could really tell him. I didn't like to talk about anything to do with my past. It was just something that made me feel sick to talk about. To anyone. Could I really tell Logan why I wanted to leave that day?

"Katie," I whispered. My throat dried up, my heart began to race, I shuddered just because of the use of her name.

"Katie?" Logan questioned. I wondered if he knew anything about her. I had mentioned her once before, but had he been able to figure it out. I didn't know how it happened, but it was like simply saying her name had opened the flood gates. Everything began to pour out. The whole story. Logan only wanted to know why I wanted to leave that day, but everything was coming out. I couldn't stop myself because it was all just too much to keep anymore. Eight years of silence, and finally someone was going to hear my story.

"My step-father was a cruel, evil man. He was all right at first you know. He seemed all right. He used to buy me toys, said I was his special little man. He didn't like Katie though. He hated her actually and I don't know why. She was the most amazing person ever. My little sister. She was smart, like the smartest person I've ever known. She could've grown up to be anything, if she had wanted to. I loved her so much. My step-dad hated her though. He never said so, but I could just tell."

"It didn't start out too bad you know. He would just scowl at her. And then he started ignoring her when she brought home good grades or when she would talk about her day. He would just ignore her. He paid special attention to me, and then he would just ignore her. I didn't know why. But he always did."

"I don't know why I stopped talking you know. It was just one day; I got really mad at my step dad. It was Katie's birthday. We didn't have a lot of money but I had some saved away. I shovelled snow for the neighbours and I used the money to buy Katie a cake and a small notebook. She liked to write. She had an amazing imagination, and she liked to write stories about princesses and spies and mad men who wanted to take over the world."

"My step-dad got really mad at me. I don't know why; it was her birthday. But he got really mad. He threw the cake across the room, and he got the note book and ripped it up right in front of Katie. It made her cry, and I hate when anyone makes Katie cry. So I got really mad and I screamed at him. I screamed really loudly and then he got really mad. He looked like he wanted to hit someone, but he didn't. He just left, and he didn't come back for a week."

"I stopped talking after that I think. I didn't stop all together. The only person I talked to was Katie. No one cared at my school. My teachers didn't like me, and I didn't have any friends. And my mum well she was nice, but she didn't really get me you know. That week she was just upset that my step-dad left and she didn't really care about anything else."

"When my step-dad came back, he had just stopped caring about both me and Katie. He and mum would just act like we were non-existent."

"I don't know why or how it happened. It just did. One day it all just happened. Mum was out. She was getting groceries. My dad tried to talk to me, and it had been a while since I had talked to anyone but Katie. So I just didn't talk to him. He got so mad. This time he did hit me. He hit me over and over again, and said he would keep doing it until I talked. I didn't though, because I just couldn't. He got even madder then. He called Katie out, and told her to make me talk to him, but she couldn't, because I just didn't know how."

"Then he said he would hurt Katie, and he did. I wanted to talk then, but I couldn't. I don't know why. I opened my mouth and nothing would come out. He said he would make me talk. So he grabbed me and took me to my room. He tied me to my bed, and he kept me there for days. He did stuff to me…he made Katie do stuff to me…he and-and Ka-Katie t-to-tou"

"He touched you where he wasn't meant to didn't he?" I nodded.

"And he made Katie…" I nodded again.

Silence flooded the room. I wasn't sure if I could go on, but I had delved into memories that I had kept locked behind barriers for so long now. I couldn't leave this story here.

"I don't know why I couldn't talk. I wanted to. I wanted to make him stop and all that I had to do was talk. I couldn't though. It was like my voice was just lost inside me. I knew my mum was there. I sometimes heard her talking, and I wondered why she didn't do anything. She knew what he was doing but she didn't stop him."

"After a couple of days, he untied me. I thought he was done. But he wasn't. He took me down stairs and he told me to stand in front of the stairs. I remember wanting to run. I wanted to run so bad, but I couldn't leave Katie. So I stayed where he told me to, and then he brought Katie downstairs. He grabbed her by her head and he told me to talk. I tried, but when I couldn't, he slammed Katie's head into the floor. He told me to speak, and when I didn't he did it again. And he kept doing it, over and over and over."

"Blood was everywhere. I remember it coming towards me, like it was just moving in trails towards me. Her brains looked like spaghetti. I remember seeing her brains. And when he was done with her, he came after me. I remember trying to fight him, but I was small and he was so big. He smashed my head into a window, and then he threw me across the room. I remember him hurting me over and over and then I remember blanking out and then coming to in my mum's arms. She was holding me and I was in so much pain. I was bleeding and everything hurt. I remember seeing Katie's body still at the bottom of the stairs. They hadn't moved her. And I remember feeling bandages on me. I don't know why but my mum had bandaged me. I asked her to take me to the hospital and I remember her saying, she was going to fix me. That we didn't need the hospital."

"I blacked out again, and I kept coming to and she would just be rocking me. And then I don't know what happened. I woke up in the hospital. Mum wasn't there, and neither was my step-dad. There was this woman and she kept speaking in hushed tones. They wanted me to talk, but I couldn't. And after the doctors made me better, I was brought here."

I couldn't believe I had done it. I had finally told my story. I looked up at Logan and I wasn't sure what he was thinking. He opened his arms however, and I moved into them. We hugged and it made me feel good; better than good. I felt tears stream down my face, so I hugged Logan tighter.

"I wanted to go to Katie's grave. She died that day."

And that was the point where I couldn't take it anymore as I broke down into hysteric sobs, Logan comforting me as I did so, letting out the flow of tears that I have been holding back for eight years.

* * *

**Okay so I didn't want to mention this at the top authors note because I wanted you to read the first line and be like OMG it's in Kendall's P.O.V.**

**Yes you finally got a chapter from Kendall's P.O.V. This was just a one off though. I thought it was long overdue.**

**Hope you enjoyed.**

**Love it? Hate it? Review it.**

_Question: Okay so was Kendall's story worth the wait?_

**Yours Sincerely**

_WindowsDown22_


	12. Kendall's firsts

**This chapter…**

**I don't even know what to say about this chapter.**

**My emotions were totally out of whack when writing this.**

**I really hope everyone likes this.**

**Zoo Boy**

**Chapter 12**

**Kendall's firsts**

**Thanks to **_Crazywritinggirl96, TaylorCammieBell, StoriesxAboutPain, , itsjessyall, Wow23, GhostGirl51, Violent Moon, Cookie Monster Giggles, Just Fetching, lilygirl42001, Mr. President 64, DeathlyHallowsHP7, BreakFree, Erin G. Allen, kato1130, winterschild11, MissDramaMama, LoveSparkle, kat4543, Ritdall, DianaMaslowx, SwagLikeErin, Candid-Canoe, JuneIsAMonth and Lonelygrl91_** for all of your lovely favs, alerts and reviews. Keep them coming!**

* * *

Things got a lot better between Kendall and I. I wasn't really sure how it happened, but from that moment forward he was able to talk to me about anything. We ended up having a lot of deep and meaningful conversations, mostly about Kendall's family. I learnt a lot about him though during our talks. We talked about his school life, where he admitted to having no friends and his teachers imply thought he was dumb. They never really took the time to look into what was happening, just writing him off as stupid. That angered me more than anything. I learnt about exactly what his step-father did. I found out about how his mother had treated him so badly even when she knew what his step-father was doing to him. I also learnt a lot about Kendall's and Katie's relationship. It all worked towards Kendall getting better, enough so to hopefully be able to live out in the real world one day.

We continued to work towards him getting over his fear of water and going outside, which continued to be a work in progress. One day whilst I was about to head out for my session with Kendall, Camille packing all of her paper work at the clinic, one of the receptionists from the front desk came in our office.

"Uh Mr Mitchell," I looked up confused as to why she was here. I never got any calls from anybody when at work so this was a first for me.

"Yes?"

"I have a phone call for you from a Kingsbridge elementary school on line one," I knew that was Carlos' school, so picked up my phone in a flash.

"This is Logan Mitchell speaking," I said quickly. When the person on the other end began to talk, I immediately recognized the person as Jake Carlos' principle. When he had explained everything to me I hung up the phone, sighing.

"Is everything all right?" I heard Camille ask.

"No I have to go to Kingsbridge elementary school," Camille frowned upon hearing this.

"Why?" she asked.

"Something's wrong with Carlos. Carlos' principle Jake wouldn't say what but it sounded urgent," fortunately for me Camille understood.

"Do you think you could push Kendall's session back half an hour? I'll try my best to make it and if I can't I'll call you," Camille nodded smiling as we both left the clinic going our separate ways.

When I arrived at Carlos' school I immediately went to the Jakes office, where he said Carlos would be waiting for me. I saw Carlos sitting out front his face screwed up in a pout. I ran to him immediately upon seeing him as the looks of his face alerted me to the fact that something was seriously wrong. His eye was bruised and it looked like he couldn't open his eye because of this. His cheek was red and swollen and his lips had a cut across it. When I looked at his neck I saw that there were indications of strangulation, purple marks showing. I kneeled down to be at his height, my fingers moving over all of his injuries.

"What happened Carlos? Who did this to you?" I felt like hurting anyone who would ever want to see Carlos, but before Carlos could answer Jake appeared from out of his office.

"Mr Mitchell," the thing was he wasn't alone. A woman stood next to him in a nice suit with a clipboard in hand. I stood to my feet upon seeing their expressions, not liking where this was going.

"I was hoping to speak to you in my office alone," I looked back at Carlos who couldn't even meet my eyes. I nodded before entering Jake's office. When I sat down in front of Jake's desk, I could feel that this wasn't going to be good, but I had to ask anyway.

"Is something going on?" Jake looked back to the woman, who moved forward to sit down in front of me.

"Mr Mitchell my name is Delilah Summers. I am going to be Carlos' case worker."

"Carlos caseworker, I'm sorry but what is going on. Has something happened to Carlos? Why does he have those bruises on his face?" I wanted answers, but deep down I knew that whatever was going to be said, it wasn't going to be good.

"Logan, today Carlos arrived at school with those bruises on his face and around his neck," Jake began. "His teacher got worried, so he was sent to me. When I saw him the first thing I did was ask where he got those bruises. He wouldn't tell me. I kept asking him because for a while, I have had my suspicions about some form of abuse going on at home. He eventually gave in Logan. Consoled him, told him I could help him, and he told me what-he told me what his uncle has been doing to him," I could barely believe what I was hearing, but at the same time it was as if I had known all along. I had known something was wrong, and the fact that I hadn't gotten Carlos out of there soon was now actually eating me up inside. How could I have been so stupid?

"So I guess you're taking over his case now?" I turned to Delilah. She nodded.

"Yes have just been called in. The police are being alerted as we speak, and Carlos is now in the care if the state. I also know that there are other children in the house, so they will immediately be removed as well. They will be placed into foster care-"

"I know I am not Carlos' legal guardian but I am the closest thing he has got. Is there any way I would be allowed to have Carlos be put into my care-"

"I'm sorry but that is not an option. I am already looking into options where Carlos can stay."

I didn't know how much about Carlos' other sibling, but I was still wondering what would happen to them.

"And what about his siblings?"

"Once we get them out of there, I will look into places for them to stay."

"Will they be placed together?"

"I am not sure of that yet. I am trying to, but it all depends on who I can find to take care of them."

I just couldn't believe that this was all happening. I felt completely at fault, to the point where I just wanted to burst into tears. My head went to my hands, my hairs fingers running through my hair in complete frustration.

"Carlos wanted to talk to you Logan. That was why I called you."

I ended up finishing my conversation with Jake and Delilah before heading back out to Carlos. All that was running through my head was that, this could possibly be the last time I would see the energetic, bubbly boy. The child who had grown on me from the moment we had begun to spend time together. I went back out to where Carlos was sitting, tears in my eyes. I pulled him immediately into a hug, Carlos holding onto me as if he never wanted to let go.

"I'm coming to stay with you right?" my breath hitched in my throat upon hearing this, reminding me of the promise I had made him.

"I-I-"

"You've come to take me with you right?" when I didn't answer Carlos pulled back from the hug looking up at me with wide eyes. "Right?" he asked again.

"C-Carlos I-"

"Right!" This time Carlos raised his voice, showing how upset he was.

"I'm s-sorry-"

"But you promised. You promised I could stay with you forever!" Carlos was crying. I could see the tears in his eyes and it made my heart break.

"Carlos you're going to go live with someone who will love you and take care of you-"

"I hate you!" Carlos screeched. "You promised! You pr-promised," and just like that Carlos broke down, crying his eyes out.

"I-I told him cause I t-thought I could come live w-with you if they k-knew," I couldn't breathe. I felt like everything around me was just a horrible dream that I would wake up from in any moment..

"It's going to be okay. Where ever you are, I will make sure I come see you, every day I promise you that-"

"You promises mean nothing. I hate you! I hate you!" and as Carlos continued to cry, I knew not what to do. I just sat there, bewildered by the situation at hand, the only sound being that of Carlos' heart wrenching sobs.

I didn't get to the clinic that day. I went home and cried. I cried into my pillow, everything feeling so out of place without Carlos being there with me like he usually would. I had offered to stay with him until everything had been sorted out, but he hadn't wanted me to and when he had begun to throw a tantrum Delilah thought it would be better if I were to leave. Ever since I had met both Kendall and Carlos, my emotions had never been in such utter turmoil.

* * *

I didn't show up to the clinic the next day, deciding that I couldn't miss two sessions with Kendall. I went to the PalmWoods institute and entered the therapy room. Ever since Kendall had started opening up to me, we had gotten side tracked with his progression. Today was no different, and I wasn't particularly up for doing anything to big that day. My mind was only focussed on Carlos. I couldn't believe how badly I had screwed up making that promise to him. It had been a promise that I should never have made, and it had all ended up turning into a complete mess.

We finished the session, and I went straight to the staff room. I needed some coffee for I hadn't had a wink of sleep last night, and I actually felt as if I was going to drop dead in any second. As I was having my coffee, James and Camille entered the room.

"Hey Logan," James said, but I was so tired and I wasn't at all in the mood to even have a conversation with anyone, that I merely grunted in reply. I was facing away from them, so when I decided to turn around I was surprised to see Camille sitting in James lap as the two kissed. I rolled my eyes moving to sit down putting my hands in my head.

"So I'm really sorry about Carlos. But you can be assured I'll take really good care of him," I looked up to see that James was talking to me.

"What are you talking about?" my eyes widened wondering what if I had just heard what James had said correctly.

"Well I mean Camille said you were with Carlos yesterday so I assumed you knew-"

"I know he's in foster care but what did you mean-I mean are you-are you looking after him?" James smiled before nodding.

As it turned out James was a registered foster parent. He had been ever since he had become a social worker. He had gotten a call from Delilah last night, and Carlos was being placed in James' care. I could not believe how lucky I was to hear this. James had told me that I could come over whenever I wanted, and that he would be happy for Carlos to continue to be in the little brother big brother program. Now all that I had to do was patch up my relationship with Carlos.

The next few days were spent worrying about Carlos, Kendall put to the back of my mind. I felt bad about doing so, but Carlos had to be my main priority. I went around to James' house soon after Carlos had moved in. He wouldn't talk to me. I tried to help him get settled in. He wouldn't acknowledge that I was there. James explained to me that being a single foster parent, he wasn't able to take in any younger children as he couldn't give them full time care. All of Carlos' siblings were younger than him, so James was only able to take in Carlos. All of the children had been split up into foster homes which was absolutely bemusing to me, but James had asked Carlos how he was handling it. Carlos apparently hadn't seemed to mind however, but I knew all of this had to be so tough on him.

I still didn't know exactly what was happening with in the Garcia's household, but I was just glad to see Carlos out of there. All that I knew was that Carlos' uncle had been arrested. That was all that James had told me.

I continued to try to talk to Carlos, but as time passed on Carlos gave in little by little. He still hadn't forgiven me. I was a long way away from receiving forgiveness, but I would wait until Carlos was ready to let me back in, and until then Carlos had James to look after him.

I began to get back into my sessions with Kendall, now that I at least knew that Carlos was all right, and not in some foreign place where I couldn't be there for him if he needed me.

"We need to get back into making progress," Camille said before one session and I agreed. We started with water once more and Kendall wasn't as reluctant this time. He at least followed us to the bathroom, which is something he hadn't done before. I figured that because I knew Kendall's story now, things were much more relaxing for him. He knew that he could trust me.

"Now we just want you to wash your hands Kendall," it was Camille who had said this, and Kendall didn't listen to her. He turned his nose up at this, folding his arms across his chest in refusal.

"Give me some time with him will you?" I whispered to Camille, who seemed reluctant but nodded in turn. She left both Kendall and I alone.

"How come you are afraid of water?" I asked him. As it had become routine with us, Kendall was no longer hesitant to answer any of my questions.

"I almost drowned once. One of the guys at my school thought it would be funny to throw me into the school pool. I didn't know how to swim, and no one tried to help me. My step-dad tried to drown me to," that was a new one.

"You've never mentioned that before," I said, grabbing onto Kendall's hand rubbing my fingers over his knuckles.

"It wasn't when he was hurting me and Katie. I just didn't want to have a bath when he wanted me to. I refused to so he just grabbed me and shoved me in the bath water head first. It was scary. I don't like water. Water scares me," I sighed.

"Water's not that bad Kendall," but Kendall was still hesitant. "Do you trust me Kendall?" I asked. He nodded.

"Okay, then trust me when I say, I will be right here when you put your hands under that water, and I won't let it ever hurt you all right."

It was just like that when it happened. He stood up, he stood before the basin. He put his fingers out withdrawing them in fear, but when I pushed them under not letting his hands go, he didn't move. He was stock still, even when I turned on the tap, the water soaking his fingers. He began to breathe quickly, but as time passed by he returned to normal, our hands just sitting in the basin being covered in water.

"See this isn't that bad is," I said and things only got better from there. In a weeks' time we had Kendall taking a bath. Actually James was the one there for him, when he took a bath. It was inappropriate for Camille to be in there with him, and I deemed it inappropriate for me to be in there with him to. I had to stay at the door though, and continuously call out to him to make sure he was all right. So we had passed the fear of water. And now only the outside was left, keeping Kendall from getting over his fears.

He was the one who came to me again. He asked to leave which I was impressed with, even though he had done so before. There was a problem however. He came to me when Camille had left the room. He asked if we could be alone when he tried to leave once more. I didn't know what to say, for I was still afraid that when faced with disappointment Kendall might act out again. He lost himself when faced with frustration or a setback, and I couldn't be hurt like that again. I was only maximising these chances, by being alone with him though. I couldn't let him down though. I got the feeling if I refused him, he wouldn't do it. So we picked up from where we had previously left off. Camille knew nothing of what we were doing, for I had signed off Kendall at the front desk as to not alert James either.

It took us a while just like it had last time.

We stood at the front door, but this time Kendall was more than determined. We were there for fifteen minutes, before Kendall placed his big toe outside without withdrawing it. I looked up to see the smile plastered across his face.

"Come on Kendall, you can do better than that," and he did. He took one step, than another. He froze after the third.

"It's okay Kendall; if that's enough for the day then that's enough. But he shook his head.

"I can do this," he spoke through gritted teeth. It took him a few more minutes before he was moving freely walking out of the institute. We walked down the street, where there was a small row of shops. I had told Kendall about this line of shops in one of our previous sessions, and that was where we had decided to go for our first outing. When I asked Kendall if he wanted to go to Katie's grave, his immediate response was yes but when faced with the possibility of using a car, this line of shops was the best option. There was an art store, in which I brought Kendall a small notebook and some water coloured paints. There was a clothing store in which I brought Kendall a fresh pair of shorts and a singlet.

Kendall was just so bewildered by it all. I could tell because he remained wide eyed the whole time, looking around at everything as if it was alien like. He avoided all people, hiding behind me whenever he was faced with the option of interaction with others. We held hands a lot of the time, and it felt comfortable. I tried not to think about it, but every time someone passed us, Kendall would squeeze my hand tighter and my heart would give this small flutter.

"What do you like to eat?" Kendall was confused by the question, but in the end he wanted a can of fizzy. There was a small café on the end of the road which I knew we would be able to get some fizzy in. When we entered the place was rather empty, albeit a few teenagers who sat in a lone booth by themselves. Kendall and I sat in our own booth. I watched Kendall fidget nervously, and this fidgeting got even worse when the waiter came to take our orders.

"What can I get you guys?" he asked us.

"I'll have a tea," I replied, deciding not to order for Kendall. This was the whole point of this, to get him to be able to interact with others on a normal social level.

"And you sir?" Kendall looked up wide eyed before turning to me. He didn't order anything, the waiter staring at him with uneasiness.

"Go on Kendall. Tell the waiter what you would like to order," Kendall pursed his lips together shaking his head. I guessed it was a bit too soon for that, so I turned to the waiter smiling.

"He'll have a can of lemonade thank you," the guy took our orders apprehensively, before leaving.

"You know its okay to talk to other people Kendall," but he didn't reply to me. In fact he didn't even look up.

"Kendall is everything okay?" he wouldn't look up, and he had stopped speaking to me. I continued to try until the waiter came back with our orders. I pushed Kendall's towards him, but the moment I did Kendall freaks out. I wasn't sure why it ended up the way it did, but he flipped out moving to sit under the table.

"Kendall what're you doing? Get out from under there?" I tried to get him out, grabbing at him but when I did he sunk his teeth into my hand. I pulled my hand back with a yelp, looking around to see that the group of teenagers were staring at us strangely. I shook my head, turning back to see Kendall rocking back and forth just like the good old days.

I tried to get him to come out, but nothing was working. I spent half an hour eventually giving up. I could see the waiter was becoming uneasy, so I decided to order something more. I figured that if I ordered something more, giving the café more money he wouldn't really care.

I sat there for another half an hour wondering what to do. I could call Camille, but then she would probably freak out on me and insist that I take a break from Kendall's case again. I could call James but he was probably busy looking after Carlos.

It got later and later and after another hour I was becoming desperate. I had ordered a salad, three cups of tea, a few muffins they had sitting up on the counter. I was guessing the only reason we weren't getting kicked out was because I kept buying drinks and food that I really didn't want to eat or drink. When it started to get late I tried to persuade Kendall to come out again, but he wasn't budging.

"Kendall come on, we need to get you back," Kendall wouldn't even talk to me, he wouldn't even move.

"Kendall please, this is getting really serious now," I could see the waiter was getting ready to kick us out, and I didn't want that to happen.

"Kendall we'll get back to the PalmWoods, everything will be all right okay, please let's just go," still nothing. That was when I decided to go under the table to get him out

"Kendall let's go please."

"I-I can't Logie," Kendall whimpered and that was the first time I realised he was crying.

"Kendall what's wrong?" I just wanted to get out of there, without having to humiliate Kendall having to drag him out kicking and screaming.

"I-I-" he didn't finish pointing down to his pants which were stained around the crotch.

"Oh Kendall, it's okay. We'll just get out of here right now okay, no one will even know," it was dark outside and no one would probably even be out walking at this time. I looked over to see that the waiter was wiping down the counter not even looking at us.

"Quick now before he sees us," and with that we ran out of the café leaving the waiter behind.

When we made it back to the PalmWoods we ran to Kendall's room. I didn't know what Kendall was feeling, but we quickly got him changed out of his wet pants. Kendall then lay down on his bed, curling up into a ball. I sat down next to him, rubbing circles on his back. I had actually thought he was upset until he started laughing.

"Ken, why are you laughing?" I asked him.

"I feel bad, I left him a mess to clean up," Kendall was grinning a goofy grin, which only made me smile even more.

"I'm sorry," Kendall finally whimpered out.

"Hey you have nothing to be sorry about. You did so well today and I am so proud of you," Kendall was finally sitting up, looking deep into my eyes. I wasn't really sure what was happening at first. It just started as Kendall sitting really close to me, and then he was smiling wider. And then he was leaning forward pushing his lips against mine. The kiss was wet and sloppy and I could tell Kendall literally had no idea what he was doing. He had probably never kissed anyone before. But I didn't care because everything about having Kendall's lips on mine felt right. When Kendall pulled back, he was blushing his eyes alight with something that had not been there before.

"Good night Ken," I finally managed to get out.

"Good night Logie," Kendall replied as I stood up and left, looking back to wave before closing his door leaving him to sleep, whilst my mind reeled about what had just happened, wondering what was going to happen again tomorrow when I see Kendall again.

* * *

**Yeah so that happened. Next chapter will kind of be like the last part of part 1. There aren't actually parts but this something kind of happens that will kind of feel like the end of an era. I don't know if that makes sense but yeah.**

**Love it? Hate it? Review it.**

_Question: What did you think of the Kogan kiss?_

**Yours Sincerely**

_WindowsDown22_


	13. All good things have to come to an end

**So this is the end of part 1. **

**Sorry if there was confusion. This isn't the end or anything like that. **

**There is still a lot to go. **

**Don't worry there is a part 2, and most likely a part three. **

**I hope this is good. **

* * *

**Zoo Boy **

**Chapter 13 **

**All Good Things Have To Come To An End **

**Thanks to **_cool825, FrozenOnTheInside, BigTimeRush-BTR, SusieSwagmaster, unthinkable13, kato1130, DyingInnocence, themalehunter, SparksTheErin, silvershadow rose, Favorites Master, icanloveyoumorethanthis, XxxAnimaniacxxX, RushersRuleTheWorld97 , DianaMaslowx, Candid-Canoe, Erin G. Allen, JuneIsAMonth18, winterschild11, Mr. President 64, Just Fetching, yuki-chan name is yuki-chan, crazywritinggirl96, GhostGirl51, Ritdall, Guest, BreakFree, Anon, Xbigtimerusherx, lilygirl42001, Cookie Monster Giggles, SwagLikeErin, PerfectMirror14, Wow23 and itsjessyall _**for all your lovely fav, alerts and reviews. Keep them coming! **

* * *

The kiss was never mentioned again. It was strange that I dreaded the next session with Kendall, for when I arrived it was just like any other normal day. Kendall never mentioned this kiss. I sure as hell never mentioned it. And Camille and James were none the wiser. What did change though was my demeanor. I tried my absolute hardest to never be left alone with Kendall. When Camille would sometimes go to leave to do something small, like to grab some water or go to the bathroom; I found myself trying to leave with her. I knew what I had done was wrong. Kendall was still a minor for god sakes and letting him kiss me was probably the biggest mistake I had ever made. I could lose my job over this. I could lose the respect of a lot of people. So I decided that as long as no one knew, and neither Kendall nor I ever mentioned it again, everything would be all right. So I tried to act as normal as possible, until it came to being alone with Kendall. Then I was trying everything I could to haul my ass out of there.

There came a day though that I found myself in a slight jam.

"Swimming is an important thing to learn right?" Kendall asked, as Camille and I sat with him drawing.

"I think it's an important thing Kendall," Camille replied.

"Well I think I should learn, don't you?"

"It's entirely up to you, and if you decide that you want to learn, then we'll teach you Kendall."

The idea of Kendall shirtless, dripping wet came across my mind and I immediately felt so dirty. He was still seventeen, and having these thoughts about a seventeen year old boy. I began to mentally berate myself, hoping to never think such impure things about Kendall again.

"I want to learn. It's something that normal people would do right. Learn how to swim?" Camille nodded before replying, "And because you are just as normal as all of us Kendall, I think it would be a great idea for you to learn how to swim. Do you think you'll be up to it?" When Kendall beamed, nodding furiously Camille smiled.

"Well then we'll get around to organizing that, right Logan?"

"Ah yeah sure," I smiled but inside my stomach was doing flips. I was sure that teaching Kendall how to swim would be the death of me.

When the session finished and Camille and I were heading out to the car park she pulled me aside to have a quick talk.

"So how are we going to do this?" I had already began to think about this the moment Kendall had suggested it. I knew that it would not be the best idea to take him to a public pool. If he were to not succeed he could fall into one of his episodes and that could put a lot of people in danger. Also the fact that there would be a lot of people there and that could set Kendall off as well. He still was not accustomed to being around a lot of people.

"Public pools aren't a good idea, but where else can we take him," I raked my mind, hearing Camille's mind practically ticking.

"Hold on a sec, don't you have a pool at your house?"

I wanted to shake my head. Having Kendall in my house was just not something I wanted right now. I was having enough trouble accepting what had already happened, and I just couldn't deal with it. But what other option was there. Besides, Camille would be there.

"We could bring James along you know to oversee things, and he would probably bring Carlos. We could make a day off it."

That settled that, for there was nothing I could say to make Camille think this was a bad idea. What could I possibly say wrong about the best solution we had?

Oh ah sorry Camille, but I think I'm falling for the seventeen year old minor, who is still recovering from the terrible child hood he had. Maybe it's not the best idea for him to be over at my house, where he would be shirtless and dripping wet from being in the water.

Yeah, that was never going to happen.

So a week from that day Kendall got into my car next to me. He kicked up a fuss when Camille said she would sit in the passenger seat next to me, so she let him sit there. Kendall already had all of his gear, for we had been shopping the previous days for swim trunks. Kendall had been adamant upon getting the pink with purple flowers on them, only god knows why. Two good things came with that day though. One was that he asked to buy a rash top, simply because it had a picture of Elmo on it. Thank god for Elmo, for that meant I could some what control myself when around Kendall. The second was that Kendall had actually said something to the shopping assistant who had helped us. Albeit the fact that he had only said, "I like flowers," after she commented upon the shorts, but still I was proud of him for even managing that. It had been the first time he had spoken to someone besides Camille, James or me.

After we had all piled into the car, with plans of driving towards Carlos' school to pick him up, we were on our way. I still wasn't in Carlos' good books, and what hurt me even more was that he had really begun to warm up to James; even more so than he ever had me. After picking Carlos up, we headed to my house, to the sound of Carlos telling us all about his day. I could see how uncomfortable Kendall was. This was of course the first time he had ever met Carlos. We had spent the week leading up to this event, explaining Carlos to Kendall and how Carlos could be a little exuberant. I could see Kendall was trying really hard though to not put up a fuss.

"And I we played tag and kiss on the playground today and I ran after all the girls and they ran away but I managed to tag Sally Jenkins and I kisseded her on the nose and then squealed but she didn't even run away from me like Carrie did to Johnny. I then I played a prank on my teacher because I'm sneaky like a ninja and all the class laughed at her…"

Carlos continued to explain his day in great detail and I could see the tell-tale signs that Kendall was becoming extremely uncomfortable. I looked back to see Camille and James laugh at the prank Carlos' pulled on his teacher so I quickly moved my hand to grab Kendall's giving it a gentle squeeze. He jumped slightly, so I looked in the rear-view mirror to make sure no one had seen anything so I looked back to Kendall smiling, again giving his hand one last quick squeeze before pulling back. That seemed to relax Kendall slightly, a light blush appearing on his cheeks, but it was enough so that he at least wouldn't freak out with Carlos in the car.

We came to a stop at my house, so Camille and James hopped out one side. I gave Camille the keys so she could go and unlock my house, whilst I unpacked all of Kendall's belongings. James followed her. Kendall didn't make a move to open the door, which I took to be a bad sign. I went to try and help him but Carlos was the one to pop his head over the seat.

"You're the weird kid right?" I inwardly groaned as Carlos said this, hoping that Kendall wouldn't react badly.

"It's all right Kendall. Carlos is a really good kid," Carlos however took badly to this, as he scowled at me before opening the door, climbing out and slamming it shut. I sighed before turning back to Kendall.

"I know he can be a little over the top, but it's all okay. I'm here all right," it wasn't up until this point that I realized I was alone with Kendall for the first time in so long.

"I um, we should go inside. You're ready to learn how to swim righ-"Kendall cut me off with a surprise kiss, much like he had last time. The kiss again was wet and messy just like the first, and again I didn't push him away. I simply sat stock still, not knowing what to do about this. But suddenly my hands found their way to Kendall's waist, and before long he was in my lap. I knew that Kendall really didn't know what he was doing, for he's probably never even thought about being this close to someone in his life. And that's when I remembered just what I was doing. Jeopardizing my career, what others will think of me. Before I could do anything about what was happening, Kendall leant back against the horn which let out a loud beep!

I knew that this would have probably alerted James or Camille so I quickly pushed Kendall off of me and stepped out of the car. I saw Camille walking out just as I did.

"Is everything all right?" I heard her shout from across the lawn.

"Y-Yeah um, Kendall just wanted to beep the horn. Just something silly right?" I chuckled awkwardly before moving to the boot to grab out Kendall' stuff. I saw Camille walk over to Kendall and help him out of the car. My heart almost jumped out of my mouth as I heard her begin to talk to her.

"I used to love beeping the horn when I was a kid right?" Kendall though didn't even bother to respond, folding his arms across his chest and turning his nose up in the air. Camille frowned at this but didn't push it as she guided him inside my house.

After grabbing all of his stuff, I took a calming breath knowing I had to keep everything I was feeling in check. I couldn't allow anyone to catch on to what was happening. Once I felt I had managed this I took a deep breath, forced a smile on to my face and walked inside hoping that Kendall wouldn't try anything in front of James and Camille.

* * *

The first half hour was spent Kendall sitting on the grass before the pool, everyone else enjoying them as I sat with him? I had a volleyball net that James had found, which he had placed from one side of the pool to the other. He was playing a game of him and Carlos vs. Camille.

"Do you want to try now," Kendall slumped where he was sitting, and I wondered if he was going to end up trying today to get in the pool. I of course wasn't going to push him.

We continued to watch the three of them muck around until Kendall finally stood up before inching closer to the pool. It was only slightly closer but it was a start. He got to be about a meter from the pool edge when Carlos moved to get out from the pool.

"I need ta pee," he announced running across my back lawn before entering my home.

I shook my head before turning to Camille who was also exiting the pool. She came and sat down next to us.

"Do you think you're ready to give this a go Kendall?" He looked over to me as I gave him an encouraging smile. He then turned back to Camille and nodded. He stood up in his pink with purple flowered shorts with his Elmo top and inched closer to the pool. I decided that I was going to go in first, so I moved to lower myself into the pool waiting for him. James was by my side encouraging Kendall.

"It's all right Kendall. Logan and I are right here," James said, which made Kendall inch closer.

It happened all of a sudden. I hadn't even seen Carlos come back from going to the toilet and apparently neither had James or Camille as Carlos gave Kendall a shunt making him fall into the pool. I saw Carlos laughing thinking it was all some kind of joke, not knowing what he had just done.

Kendall fell in the pool submerging himself completely under water. He came back up thrashing and screaming. Carlos stopped laughing upon seeing this.

"Kendall it's okay!" I screamed over his screeching, trying to grab him, and when he finally got a hold of me he dragged me under water with him. He was struggling against my hold, his eyes wide with fear as I brought him back up both of us gasping for air. He quickly latched onto me, his arms gripping onto my back, his legs wrapped around my waist. He was shaking so violently his teeth chattering together, as he whimpered his grip never lessening as he clutched onto me like I was his life line.

"It's okay," I soothed holding him. His grip never relented however; as I moved us out of the water. When we were out of the pool, Kendall collapsed on the ground, heaving in deep gasps of air.

"I-I sorry," Carlos tried and I could tell he felt bad, and he was a child. He had no idea that what he did would result in this. James was already by his side consoling him, so I needn't have worried. I moved towards Kendall who was still shaking having rolled himself up into a ball.

"It's okay," I said again rubbing Kendall's back. The next few hours were spent calming Kendall down. He wouldn't speak to anyone, and just lay there rolled up in a ball.

"Kendall it's all right. Talk to me," I tried and when I said this, he poked his head out.

"O-Only y-you," he whispered before hiding himself again.

I looked over to Camille who had already been discussing how late it was getting.

"Logan are you all right with this? We'll stay if you want us to…" but I could see that Carlos was getting tired and I knew both Camille and James wanted to get home. We were meant to have Kendall back half an hour ago and Camille had already informed the Palmwoods on the situation. It was getting dark and I was sure I would be fine. At the time I wasn't thinking about what would happen if I was alone with Kendall. My only thought was that Kendall needed me and me alone.

"I'll be all right. You go, get Carlos home. It'll be all right," I could tell Camille was grateful for this as she said good-bye as her, James and Carlos all left.

"Kendall is everything all right?"

"That was so scary," Kendall replied in the quietest of voices, and I could see the tears down his face.

"I know, but that's just because you weren't expecting it to happen so fast. If we take it slow we can get there."

"D-Don't I need t-to go back?" Kendall stammered.

"I'll take the heat for it if you want to try and get and get into the water again. Maybe we can just try to get you floating. How does that sound?"

Kendall agreed, and we moved slowly towards the pool again. I managed to get him lowered into the pool and once again he was clinging onto me with a death grip.

"It's okay," I whispered reaching up to run my fingers through his hair. He clung to me as we floated for a bit.

"Now it's time for you to do it by yourself," I said, pulling back. At first Kendall was reluctant to let go of me, but eventually I got him do so. He let go but he made sure that I was still holding his hand. He floated for a bit, his smile growing as he realized exactly what he was doing.

"I'm swimming," he let out a joyous yelp. I didn't want to burst his bubble by telling him he really was only floating so I let him believe in what he was doing. It was at this point that I realized that Kendall was perhaps the cutest, most adorable, most sweetest person I have ever met. For a moment I stopped thinking, stopped wondering what would go wrong if I were to kiss Kendall once more. I pulled him up so he was close to my chest before pressing my lips to his. The kiss only lasted for a few seconds before I pulled back.

"I'm so proud of you Kendall," I whispered. Kendall didn't go back to the Palmwoods for another half hour. We just floated in the water giggling and kissing. It was a moment that I would never forget.

Of course as the saying goes, all good things have to come to an end.

* * *

I told myself that I hadn't been aware that Kendall's eighteenth was so close. I think that deep down in my mind I did know that Kendall's birthday was close however, but I just couldn't let myself think about it. I didn't have much time to really figure out exactly what was going on between us. After the day at my house, Kendall was really shy around me. When we were in sessions he would giggle like a school girl when I would talk, and he would always bite down on his bottom lip to stop his cheeks from turning bright red (this being unsuccessful). I wasn't sure what Camille thought of this, for sometimes she would laugh it off, but then I would see her giving me questioning glares.

This went on, for I didn't really get the chance to be alone with Kendall before our time was up. It came up on me so fast and before I knew it James was asking me what I was buying him for a present. James and Camille had been talking about it, and I had sort of been avoiding the whole conversation entirely as I knew what it meant.

"Ah I don't know. I'll think about it," I said, returning to sipping my coffee.

"Well Camille and I have been talking, and we were thinking that maybe we could all chip in to buy him a guitar of choice. We were thinking of taking him to a store on his birthday, letting him choose before bringing him back here for cake and maybe a few party games," James suggested.

"Ah if you want," I shrugged it off as if it wasn't that bigger deal, which made Camille raise her eye-brows at me.

"Logan this is such a big thing. With all of his progress, and the fact that..." Camille trailed off at this, which made me curious.

"What?" I asked.

"Well, James told me just before that...Kendall's been accepted into a group home," I turned to James upon hearing this.

"Oh yeah, I was meant to tell you. It slipped my mind. But ah yeah, I've been trying to find a place for Kendall to move into once his time here is up. I got in contact with the leader of a group home that's about a forty-five minute drive from here. It's a great place, and I'm sure Kendall will fit in perfectly there. It will be a great place for him."

My mind went completely blank upon hearing this. I just wasn't sure how to process it all.

"So ah it would be a good send off don't you think, to get him a guitar I mean. Maybe he can learn to really play it when he moves out of here."

I nodded, before gulping down my coffee, quickly putting the last touches to my notes before leaving without a second glance back. I just didn't want to think about not having Kendall in my life anymore.

But sometimes things just don't go the way we want them to.

I found myself in the guitar shop with Kendall on his eighteenth birthday. He was looking around in awe, his eyes wide with happiness. He ended up picking out a blue guitar, for he said blue was his favorite color. His dimpled smile when he held it in his hand, had my heart racing.

We held a small party at the Palmwoods. They had a game room, in which as of late Kendall had been showing up in, now that he wasn't scared to interact with others, and to be outside of the therapy room and in his own room. That was where we held it. Kendall still hadn't as of yet made friends with any of the other patients, though James said he had seen Kendall at one point talking with one other girl. I didn't know what I thought of this, but all I knew that as of right now this was really happening. We played party games, we wore party hats, we sang Kendall happy birthday before he blew out the candles. As he smiled happily, everyone clapping around him I just couldn't believe that the kid I had once known as Zoo-Boy was now this blossoming blond in front of me. He was the kid who had changed my life, and now he was about to leave it as a changed man.

James and Camille left later that day, but I decided to stay behind. We went to Kendall's room, to wash all of the cake off of his face. We ended up sitting on his bed, talking about what was about to happen.

"You wanna know something Logie?" Kendall asked. I nodded.

"I'm scared."

"Don't be scared Kendall. Everything is going to be all right."

"But you're going to keep coming and seeing me right."

"Of course. I'm always here for you. I might not be able to see you everyday though," Kendall lip dropped at this, so I pulled him in for a hug.

"You're going to be fine Kendall."

"But what if I'm not. What if something scary happens, or what if someone bad tries to hurt me. No, no I don't think I can do this. No I just wanna stay here, or stay with you. Can I stay with you? Please let me stay with you. I don't wanna go anywhere else-"

"Kendall stop. Just calm down all right," I rubbed his shoulders, trying to help him regain control of his breathing which had become ragged.

"Now listen," I said once he had calmed down. "You are going to be fine. No one is going to hurt you all right. And if I don't get to see you every day, I want you to give me a call all right. Or you can write me a letter if you want," I pulled a bit of paper out of my pocket which had my address and number on it.

"Whoever is in charge will help you all right," I was immediately pulling him in for a hug once more.

"I don't wanna leave you. You make me feel safe."

"You don't need me to be safe anymore Kendall. You've worked so hard, and now you have this chance to go back out there and live the life that no one ever thought you would have. After all this hard work, you owe it to yourself. Don't let me hold you back."

"I'm still scared."

"It's all right, but Kendall...you're going to meet new people," I said with a sigh. "People your own age, and maybe you might meet someone you really like. And I want you to know that if that happens, and I'm not around a lot, you can be with that person."

"I don't understand," I wasn't sure how I was going to explain this, so I grabbed Kendall's hands looking him deep into his eyes.

"You like me don't you?" I asked him.

"Yeah a lot," he replied smiling.

"But the thing is, you might start liking someone else. And I just think if that happens, you should see what happens with them. Your going to out of this place Kendall, and you might try and find some work. You might try and go back and get an education. But all I know is that you should just keep you options open, do you understand."

"I'm not sure. Are you going to come and see me still?"

"I'll try Kendall," I wasn't sure that I was able to explain this all so I gave up. He leaned up and kissed me, and I allowed it to happen.

James was the one to drop Kendall off at the group home. He had to be for he was his case worker and the one who had organized everything. I wasn't sure I could go and keep my cool, so I decided to say good-bye to Kendall when he was leaving. Camille was there also.

"We're so proud of you Kendall," Camille pulled him into a hug. I simply smiled doing the same, whispering in his ear, "Remember to call me."

When he pulled back he nodded, before moving into the car. I watched as they drove off, feeling like I wanted to cry. Even though it broke my heart to see him leave, it also made me proud.

He was no longer Zoo-Boy to me.

He was simply Kendall.

* * *

**End of part 1 **

**Love it? Hate it? Review it. **

_Question: End of part 1. How do you guys feel about that? Are you looking forward to part 2? _

**Yours Sincerely **

_WindowsDown22_


	14. Trouble

**Long ass A/N ahead:P**

**Okay so I really want these two things to happen.**

**1.) I really want to make 300 reviews. Simply because another hundred is another milestone, and it would mean heaps to get there. I reckon twenty-five reviews isn't too bad. I average 21 reviews per chapter and the biggest amount of reviews I got on one chapter is 28, so it would mean a lot to get to 300 on this chapter.**

**2.) I would also like to get to 100 follows. Again another hundred is a milestone, and I just like when I get to another century****.**

**Hope you guys can make this happen.**

**Okay now after this I would also like to talk about part 2.**

**So I have a plan for part 2 now for quite a while, but as I was writing this chapter, I stopped half way through as I have thought of another way to go about it. I'm not sure about it though. It is kind of similar to another story that I have written, but I really like this way. I just don't know what to do because this was all set in stone, and now I'm not so sure.**

**Ah and I just want you guys to know, if I go with the second way, you will probably hate how I am going to end it. I just want to tell you to remember there will be a PART 3 people. So don't give up hope if you don't like how part 2 ends. **

**Also, part 2 probably won't be too big. Part 1 had to be long because it had all the detail of everything and so forth, so part 2 won't be too big, and I'm thinking part 3 won't be either. I think there will be about 7-12 chapters left.**

**All right...Logan ass authors note over.**

**Hope you enjoy the first chapter of PART 2.**

* * *

**Zoo Boy**

**Chapter 14**

**Trouble**

**Thanks to **_Carphanie, GhostGirl51, Mr. President 64, name here please, MissDramaMama, kat4543, DianaMaslowx, LoveSparkle, Candid-Canoe, Erin G. Allen, raych-btr, XxxAnimaniacxxX, Lonelygrl91, BreakFree, winterschild11, SwagLikeErin, Just Fetching, daisyforyou, malehunter, Xbigtimerusherx, itsjessyall, Cookie Monster Giggles and Wow23_** for all of your lovely favs, alerts and reviews. Again keep the coming.**

* * *

**PART 2**

One year.

I hadn't heard from Kendall in one year.

Well to be honest, it wasn't that I hadn't heard from him. It was more that I hadn't tried to keep in contact. I felt that things were just too complicated between the two of us, to keep up any sort of relationship. I felt like I had done my job. I had helped Kendall to move towards a normal life, and as it was with all my other patients, once I had finished my job; once I had done what had been asked of me, it was time to move on.

I have had many a patients in my time, but I had never crossed paths with someone like Kendall. I still thought about him late at night, wondered how he was, if he was okay. I knew I was doing the right thing though. If he had had me around after we had parted ways, he could've become dependent on me, and this could've caused him to not make relationships with people his own age. He needed to socialize with people he could relate to, make relationships with people who had the same interests and desires that he did. He needed to be away from me, so after we parted ways, I kept in contact with him for a short while, making sure he was comfortable in his new home.

But as time went by, my visits became less frequent. I stopped by every now and then, and Kendall seemed fine. He had made new friends, and under the leader of the household he had even gotten a small part time job. It wasn't too heavy. He simply did cleaning and household work for an elderly woman who lived nearby. I was very proud of him to say the least. And eventually I stopped showing up. I got a few calls from Kendall to start with, but this became less frequent to, until we had no contact whatsoever.

My life went back to how it had once been.

Carlos was still in James' care, so I didn't have much to do with him anymore. I didn't work down at the Palmwoods after Kendall moved away from there, simply because no one had come in that was deemed necessary to be taken under by me. This meant I saw less of James, and in turn less of Carlos. I still worked with Camille so that was how I kept in contact with James. We had what I called a weekly gathering, where Camille, James and I would gather at one of our houses and simply talk. It kept me sane to be honest.

I didn't have many other friends to fall back on to have that of normal social outings, so I really relied on Camille and James for that. At least when I did get to see Carlos, he wasn't nearly as mad at me as he once had been. He actually talked to me nowadays, which made me happy. He told me about his days at school, told me about the new friends he was making. He even asked me to go to his recital where he was in the musical. I applauded the loudest in the crowd, with a big grin on my face. But things never got back to the same between Carlos and me. No matter how much I hoped they would return to being.

Things just weren't the same anymore.

* * *

I sat in my office a year later, from the day Kendall and I had parted. I still kept a picture of him and me on my desk. I had taken one, when he had gotten his guitar. In the picture he is holding it up and I am standing next to him, the two of us pulling goofy faces at the camera. It still remains to be one of my favorite pictures to this day.

As I was staring at the picture, running my finger over Kendall's face, I heard Camille enter the office.

"Hey Logan," she said. I looked up to see her holding some forms in her hands, with a confused expression upon her face.

"Is everything all right?"

"Well yeah I just...I have this case that I was working on..." she trailed off so I motioned for her to come and sit with me.

Ever since Camille had helped me with Kendall's case, we had become so much closer. When we were having problems with a case, or we needed to discuss something that was troubling us in terms of a case, we would talk to one another.

She talked this case out with me, and by the end she had a solution in her mind as to what she should do. It was then that the conversation moved on to a different topic.

"So...what are you doing tonight?" she asked me.

I wasn't quite sure why she was asking me this, but nonetheless I answered.

"Ah staying in. Watching television whilst curled upon the couch eating marshmallows."

"Really Logan. Marshmallows?"

"Hey their delicious and mallowy. Leave me alone," I chuckled.

"Well if you can take time away from your busy schedule. I was thinking that tonight James and I are going out to this new club that's just opened, and I was wondering-"

"I can totally sit Carlos for you. I miss the little guy."

"Actually, James has already gotten a sitter. I was wondering if you wanted to come with us."

It wasn't that I was surprised she had asked me to go with them. I hung out with Camille and James on a weekly basis and I considered them my friends. But something was stopping me from agreeing to do so.

"Come on Logan. When's the last time you went out and had some fun, met a hot guy, danced all night."

"All right I'll go, what time are you picking me up?"

So Camille arrived at my house at eight, dressed for the clubbing scene. I of course wasn't one to go clubbing, so I didn't particularly know how to dress. After spending half an hour of re-dressing me so that Camille thought I looked 'damn fine' in her words, and spiking up my hair so that it would bring out my eyes, which made no sense to me, we were on our way to this new club.

Everything felt awkward at first, with the scenery being loud and grungy, flashing lights almost blinding me, as drunken people made fools of themselves on the dance floor. I wasn't quite sure how to react to it all, but once Camille practically shoved a drink of alcohol down my throat I felt myself loosening up.

"Okay, James and I are going to dance," Camille explained. "And I don't want to look over and see you haven't moved from this spot all right. Go and find some cute guy to dance with. There's one at the bar who hasn't taken his eyes off you this whole time," Camille whispered the last part to me, and James practically dragged her away, the two rutting against each other in such an intimate fashion, it made me blush slightly. I looked away, over to the guy who Camille had been talking about to see that he was looking at me. He seemed confident to, for instead of averting his gaze when I noticed he was staring he simply continued to stare before winking at me.

I didn't know where the new found courage came from, but I soon found myself walking towards the guy after downing the rest of my drink. I made my way through the crowd to be beside him.

"Hiahh," I had gone to sit on the stool next to him, but I had mis-judged it's placing so that I fell to the floor. I hadn't had that much to drink had I? I shook off the fall as he helped me to my feet.

"Are you all right there?" he asked me.

"Ah yeah, I just mis-judged the seats placement."

"Yeah I can see that," he replied, his hands not leaving mine.

"I'm Steve," he said, smiling down at me as he was about foot taller.

"Oh ah I'm Logan."

"Well Logan, would you like to dance with me?" I was nodding before the words were out of his mouth. I managed to lose myself to the music, as he grabbed a tight hold upon my hips, and began to sway against me.

We danced for god knows how long, drinking together when we got a little tired. Steve was fun to be around, but I couldn't help but feel this longing need in my stomach for this to be Kendall instead of the man before me. I shook my thoughts away, returning to the dance floor. This time as we were dancing, things became a lot more heated, Steve possessively grabbing ahold of me, his lips finding my neck as he peppered kisses across it.

"So hot," he murmured, and I felt like I needed to do this. I was lonely and sure I didn't think this was going to turn into anything, but with the feeling of loneliness settling in the pit of my stomach, and the fact the I was horny having not gotten any in a long time, I knew I was going to let go for tonight.

"You know, I have a car out back," Steve began but I was interrupted by the feeling of my phone vibrating in my pocket.

"One sec," I said, pulling out my phone, not bothering to see who was calling and merely answering.

"Hello," I shouted over the music.

"Yes hello, is this Logan Mitchell?"

"Yes this is he, who is this?"

"This is Doctor Bennett from St. Vivian's hospital. We have a man named Kendall Knight in our hospital, and when we brought him in, he was requesting that we call you."

Everything went numb as I pushed Steve away from me.

"I-I'm sorry did you say K-Kendall Knight," my mind raced as I wondered what on earth was going on. Why was Kendall in hospital, and why was he requesting to talk to me?

"Yes I-" the doctors voice was cut off as I dropped my phone, the sound of it crashing against the floor, making me realize that this was real. I felt Steve's hot breath back against my neck, but I quickly pushed him away again. He continued to try and try again and I soon had had enough of it. I turned to him before shouting, "Take a hint and leave me the fuck alone!" I left my phone on the floor, where I had dropped it for I was not in the right mind of thinking. I just wanted to find Camille so I could get to Kendall. That was all that resided on my mind at that point. I need to get to Kendall.

I found Camille in a secluded booth, where she was in James lap as they kissed each other passionately. I didn't care that I was bothering them, as I practically pulled them a part.

"Logan, what the fuck!" James shouted, but I didn't have time to hear him whine about how I had interrupted them almost fucking each other.

"We need to go now!" I shouted, grabbing Camille's hand and pulling her towards the exit.

"Logan what's going on-?"

"Kendall's in hospital so we need to go!"

"Wait Kendall's in hospital. How...when...they should have called me. I am still his case worker after all and they should have that on file-"

"He requested to have me called in the ambulance, so we need to go. Now!" and then I was pulling Camille and James to James' car, pushing them in. James was meant to be sober driver, which I hoped he still was. He didn't have any problem driving so I was glad for that.

"What hospital is he in?"

"St. Vivian's," I said in return, letting out a breath that I hadn't realized I had been holding. As we were driving everything was in complete silence. No one muttered a word, and I was glad as it allowed me to clear my mind and organize my thoughts. There was one thought however that wouldn't leave my mind as I prayed and begged to god in my head to let this one thought be true.

_Please let Kendall be okay._

* * *

James pulled up at the hospital and I was immediately sprinting out of the car. The hospital had been a long drive away from where Kendall should be, in his group home. I wondered what the leader of the group home thought of all this. I hoped that he had nothing to do with this either, because he would be sorry if he hadn't been doing all he could to keep Kendall safe.

I rushed to the front desk, skidding to a halt as I got there.

"I-I'm here to see K-Kendall Knight," I stammered being out of breath from running. Camille and James were right behind me, just after I had said this.

"Kendall Knight?" The receptionists replied, as she looked it up on her computer.

"Ah that would be room-"

"Logan Mitchell?" I looked up to see a woman I didn't recognize had said this.

"I'm sorry do I-?"

"I'm Doctor Felicia Bennett. I called you in regard to Kendall Knight."

"Yes all right thank you, ah I need to see him so can you lead the way or-"

"What is your relationship in regards to Mr. Knight?"

"I'm his therapist. I work with cases of elective mutism, and this is Camille Roberts who works alongside me on Kendall's case and James Diamond his caseworker."

Doctor Bennett nodded, as she smiled sadly at me.

"What's happened to him?" I asked in a rather harsh voice but I didn't care. "Is he all right? What room is he in? I need to see him-"

"Yes all right, I just need to explain what has happened."

"Happened?"

"Yes," she cleared her throat before continuing. "Earlier this evening, a call was made to the police. The next door neighbors made the call, and said they heard the sound of gun-shots screaming coming from next door. The police arrived upon scene to find who was later found to be Kyle Warren and Jennifer Knight shot dead. Mrs. Knight had the gun in his hands, but it was clear he had attempted suicide for his wrists were slit..."

As Doctor Bennett continued to tell me this story, I couldn't help but feel sick to my stomach. Kendall had finally done it. He had snapped and did what he said he would. He had killed his step-father.

"C-Can we see him."

"Yes, he is stable enough to have visitors."

We followed Doctor Bennett down a hall before making a few turns until we ended up being outside room 245. There stood a man dressed in police uniform, the man standing there with a straight look on his face.

He didn't say anything as the three of us entered with Doctor Bennett. When I saw Kendall I felt sick to my stomach. His wrists were bandaged tightly, and he looked completely lost. He was awake but this was not the Kendall I had left a year ago. He had deep bags under his eyes, and it was as if he was Zoo Boy again. It was like all of mine hard work, all of James' and Camille's hard work had gone down the drain.

"He hasn't talked since he came in. Only on the ambulance drive here. I figured it was something like elective mutism."

As we entered fully, I saw Kendall look up at me and smile.

"Kendall what have you done?" I whispered. I just honestly couldn't believe it. I wanted to be sick at the thought that Kendall had actually committed the crime of what the police suspected him of.

"I did it Logie," he smiled. "I killed him."

* * *

**Yes that is the start of part 2. The next update should be pretty soon because as much as I love this story, I also want to get it finished so I can move on to new things.**

**Love it? Hate it? Review it?**

_Question: How do you think part 2 will play out? I would love to read what you guys think because it could end up inspiring me._

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	15. Lost in drama

**Okay so first off...**

**THANK YOU FOR GETTING ME TO 300!**

**It feels awesome. This is now officially my most reviewed story YAY!**

**Secondly...**

**I know I said I would update soon, but I've been busy.**

**I recently graduated school and I have just gotten a job because I am moving out of home in two months time, and starting to flat with some friends, so yeah I need money for that. So yeah life has just been hectic with other stuff involved but yeah sorry. I hope this chapter makes up for the wait.**

**Thirdly...**

**I know exactly where I am going with this story. There is about 2/3 chapters left to part two, and yeah this chapter may make you feel like you know what's going to happen, or what has happened, but remember not everything is what it seems. I watched an episode of a certain program and it gave me an idea as to how I am going to end part 2.**

**But yeah anyway hope you enjoy**

**PEACE!**

**Zoo Boy**

**Chapter 15**

**Lost in drama**

**Thanks to **_DianaMaslowx, XxxAnimanicxxX, kat4543, LoveSparkle, kato1130, XavierJulius, Mr. President 64, winterschild11, Xbigtimerusherx, RushersRuleTheWorld97, daisyforyou, Ritdall, That Was A Halluva Thing, Candid-Canoe, CandySmile, Erin G. Allen, jendizzleofdachain, beautystar321, Cookie Monster Giggles, itsjessyall, Bomes, PerfectMirror14, GhostGirl51, SwagLikeErin, 2la-z-2-login, Ashley, Lonelygrl91, Martha Kentorie, Guest, BreakFree, MissDramaMama, lilygirl42001, The Weasley Way, Schmidster8 and Kechiko_** for all your lovely favs, alerts and reviews. Keep the coming guys!**

* * *

I sat there stock still in complete shock, not knowing what to say as Kendall confessed to what he had done.

"I put the gun to his head, and he begged me not to. I said to him, why should I show you mercy. When you killed Katie she begged for you to stop...but you didn't. He kept saying he was sorry and that really made me angry because I deserved more than a sorry. Katie deserved more than a sorry-"

"Kendall you need to stop all right, and not say anything more until your lawyer gets here. I've already called one for you and he's on his way," I heard James speak, but I didn't even register what he was saying. I just couldn't even move because that of utter shock was coursing through my system.

Kendall had gotten better. He had shown so much progress. Why would he go back on all that we achieved?

I felt Camille tugging me away, watching as James moved to be by Kendall's side. I should be the one doing that, but Camille was pulling me away from him.

"Stop! I need to-"

"No you need to come with me now," Camille hissed before pulling me out of the room. She led me away until we were in an empty hall way. There I watched as she began to pace back and forth, biting down on her bottom lip until she was practically drawing blood.

"C-Camille I-"

"What are we going to do. I mean did Kendall ever show homicidal tendencies, because there was nothing written in his case file. There was that picture he drew but that didn't make us suspect that he would go out and kill someone. How could we have missed this?" She was shaking her head.

"Something must've happened in the past year, but James has been doing check ups on Kendall every few weeks and he said Kendall was doing so well. What have we missed."

She was going frantic trying to figure things out, and I knew I had to tell her...

This was all my fault.

"M-My f-fault," I fell to the ground sobbing. It was my fault. How could I have been so stupid.

"Logan," Camille's voice softened as she knelt down eside me, and pulled me into her arms. I didn't deserve this for I was the cause of all this.

"This isn't you fault," she tried to console me, bbut I knew differently to her.

"It is Camille," I moved away from her, wiping the tears away on my sleeve.

"No it isn't. How could you have known he would go out and do this. None of us did."

"But I did know."

I knew I had to tell her. And I would have to tell my boss. And I would probably lose my job.

"W-What do you mean?" She asked me.

"Back in the beginning," I began, "When I was first figuring out Kendall and what was wrong with him, we were sitting under the table. He was talking to me, and he told me...he told me that when he got out that place he was going to find his step-father and kill him."

Camille stared back at me blankly.

"He-He told you that."

"Yes."

"But there was nothing written in his case files. I read through them and there was...oh god Logan, please tell me you wrote this down."

My eyes fell to the floor in shame.

"How could you be so..." she trailed of not knowing what to say.

"Please let me have it. I'm a stupid idiot. God I fucked up."

"You can say that again."

As Camille said this though, I could see the look in her eyes. She wore a soft expression which I knew I didn't deserve.

"Why didn't you write this down."

"I-I don't know. I just-I was trying to but I knew that if they found out Kendall could get sent away or something, and this wasn't his fault. He shouldn't have to be locked away because of what that man did, and I d-don't know. I tried to write it, I really did, but I just couldn't phrase it in a way that didn't sound bad. I just...I'm stupid. If someone else had known that could have helped him, or put in a place where this wouldn't have happened. And this is all my fault."

Camille sighed.

"Logan, I'm not going to lie to you. You fucked up," I looked down knowing that this was true.

"But there's nothing you can do about it now. In the end, Kendall made the decision to do what he did, you weren't there to pull the trigger for him or anything like that. This was Kendall's choice, and now he has to live with the consequences."

Camille was right, but I couldn't help but feel that this could have been avoided, if I hadn't been so stupid in the first place.

* * *

James had gotten in contact with the leader of the group home Mr Thomas. I had heard one side of the conversation as I re-entered Kendall's hospital room.

"What do you mean he..."

"Well you should have contacted me to let me know..."

"I am his case worker and when incidents like these happen you should..."

"What do you mean this isn't the first time..."

"Well did you think about contacting the police..."

"So you just decided to do nothing..."

"Yeah well fuck you to!" James shouted before slamming his phone shut effectively ending the call.

"James baby, what's wrong?" Camille was immediately by his side, rubbing his shoulders in attempt to comfort him.

"Apparently," James started at a whisper, just audible to me. "Kendall ran away this morning because he got into a fight with one of the other tenants. Mrs Thomas only just informed me even though I should have been informed immediately. He said that Kendall has done this before...and that this was his last chance. But the point of the matter is that he still should have called me, but decided that he was to above making one simple call."

I could tell James was frustrated as he ran his fingers through his hair, his face screwed up in annoyance.

"Hey it's going to be okay."

"In case you haven't noticed Camille, nothing about this is okay."

That was when James stormed off, Camille quickly running after him leaving Kendall and I alone. There was no doctor their with him, but the police officer stood outside, and all I could think about was the handcuffs on Kendall's arms that chained him to the bed.

"Are you mad at me Logie?" and how was I meant to answer that.

"N-No, I'm mad at myself."

"Why are you made at yourself?" It felt so strange to be talking to Kendall. Mostly because he was indeed a murderer but more because he had changed so much. He wasn't skinny any more. He had more of a muscular presence that actually scared me. His hair wasn't long blond locks, having been replaced by a shaved head which I bet would feel prickly under my touch. Everything about Kendall was different. He stared back at me with a new found confidence instead of the normal shy gaze I was used to. The only thing that remained the same was that smile. It was the same smile had used when drawing those crude images. It was the same smile that chilled me to my core.

I couldn't be around this Kendall. He made me sick, for this wasn't the Kendall I knew. This was a murderer. Everything about the way he looked screamed psychotic, the way his eyes followed after me every time I moved like a tiger ready to pounce upon and attack it's prey. But this was my fault. I couldn't abandon him when this was my fault.

"Because you told me you would do this. And I should have reported it. Then maybe none of this would've happened."

"It would've happened," Kendall laughed, the sound of it sinister and cruel.

"I told you I would do it, because I knew I would. I wouldn't have told you if I knew I wouldn't do it. He deserved it."

"No one deserves to die."

"Not even after what he did. Your siding with him. Your making me out to be the bad guy!" Kendall screamed that last part, yanking at the chains that held him ferociously which made me jump back in complete surprise. His eyes turned dark, his face went cold.

"I-I-I-" I stammered not being able to believe what I was seeing. Where was my Kendall. The Kendall that I had left a year ago, who could smile and laugh in away that made me want to smile and laugh with him.

"Don't be scared," Kendall cocked his head to one side, scanning me over, my body rigid as I only just managed to hold his gaze.

"I'm not afraid of you," I said adamantly.

"No matter what you did, that Kendall that I love is still within you. This isn't you. You've just lost you way, but I'll help you get back to the true you, your true self."

"Do you know what it's like to feel blood running through your fingers-"

"Stop," I told him.

"To have someone before you begging to let them live-"

"Please stop-"

"To have power over someone in a way that you can make them do anything you want-"

"Please-"

"To watch the light leave someone's eyes."

I whimpered shaking my head.

"Your a monster. Your not Kendall."

"Your right. You left Kendall. You promised that you would come visit him, that you would never leave him, but you broke that promise. And now here I am. The knew Kendall. The Kendall who doesn't bow down to anyone else. The Kendall who doesn't let anyone push him around. You can say what you want, but that man. That despicable man, deserved what he got. He deserved to die," Kendall hissed, and how he looked...the venom in his voice. His eyes that I had once loved; bright green with some form of hope that one day everything would be all right, now gone, a dark bleakness replacing them. I could feel the bile rising up in my throat, as I rushed to the rubbish bin emptying my stomach contents into it. I could hear Kendall laughing behind me manically, and it shook me in away nothing else had.

I just wanted my Kendall back. Even Zoo-Boy was better than this.

This Kendall was psychotic.

This Kendall was truly a murderer.

* * *

"They've been in there for a long time," Camille said. Kendall was talking to his lawyer, a lawyer who James had called in. They had indeed been talking for a long time, but I didn't care. I really just wanted to get out of here. This place, the place where Kendall currently resided, just gave me the creeps. I couldn't stand it, but I knew I had to.

No matter what Kendall had turned into. He was still Kendall somewhere deep inside. And that was why I stayed. Because somewhere in this place, was the real Kendall. The Kendall that would never do anything like this.

"There probably just discussing what the best course of action is. How we can get Kendall out of this mess."

But I wasn't sure that was the best idea.

After what I had just witnessed, Kendall needed to be locked away for a very long time.

The lawyer walked out a few short minutes later, looking between the three of us. His name was John Sawyer, and he was one of the best eterny's in the state. James had a lot of connections which in some ways I was happy to hear, and some ways I wasn't. I honestly wasn't sure what to think at this point.

"John hey," James said standing. He shook John's hand before turning to Camille and I.

"Ah this is my girlfriend Camille Roberts," Camille shook John's hand.

"And this is Logan Mitchell a good friend of mine," I simply nodded, not getting up from my seat. I still felt increasingly sick after being in that room with Kendall, so I didn't want to move in case I upset my stomach further.

"So tell me you have some good news John," John shook his head.

"I'm afraid Kendall wants to plead guilty to all charges against him."

"So he's definitely going to jail."

"It looks like it," I wasn't sure whether I should be heartbroken or relieved.

"I am sure that I could get him off on terms of temporary insanity. I talked to him about his childhood and a jury would definitely sympathise with him after all he's been through, but he doesn't want a bar of it. He actually told me he wants to go to jail."

"He said that?" Camille was flabbergasted by this all, and in some ways so was I. Why would Kendall want to go to jail for what he did? He thought that his father deserved this, so why would he want to face the consequences, especially when John says he could get him off on temporary insanity.

"I'm going to go and talk to the prosecutor. See if we can set some sort of plea bargain for the full confession. Maybe because he's confessing and after everything that's happened to him, the judge and jury will be light on him."

With that John gave a saddened smile, before patting James on the shoulder.

"I'm sorry bud. You know just like I do that cases don't always work out like you want them to," and with that John walked away.

"We need to talk to Kendall. I know what he did was wrong, but after what his step-father did to him. He doesn't deserve jail."

"James," I knew what Camille was going to say. She was a firm believer that the law was the law and she always had been. "He killed someone. No matter what they did to him, he murdered someone and he needs to know that these sorts of crimes can't go unpunished."

I saw the look on James face, and I knew what was about to play out before it even happened. I couldn't intervene though, for I literally had no strength left in me. The whole ordeal with Kendall took it all out of me, and I literally had nothing left to give.

"So you're saying that that poor boy, who faced years of abuse, should go to jail for first degree murder because he made on mistake."

"It wasn't a mistake James. He killed someone."

"But he wasn't in the mentally right state. Prison is not the place for him. He needs intensive therapy to help him get through this. People around him who care about him and want him to get better."

"There's counsellors in prison which he will have to talk to. You know that."

"And what about people who care about him. There won't be any of that in prison!"

My head went to my hands, their yelling not helping the throbbing headache that was drilling into my skull like someone was hammering a nail into my head.

"James you can't just let him go for this. What's happening is the best thing for him, and I hope that the judge and jury go light on him, and hopefully when he get's out he will realise that what he has done is wrong. It's a good thing what he is doing, manning up and facing the consequences!"

"No Camille it's not. When he comes out of prison he's going to be more fucked up than before he went in."

"Look Kendall wants to go to jail so why the hell are you screaming at me!"

"Because your being a fucking idiot!"

The two were seething, teeth gritted together as they panted heavily after screaming so loudly.

"Well if I am such an idiot, maybe you should try and help Kendall and I should just leave huh!"

"Maybe that's exactly what you should do."

I saw the hurt on Camille's face, before she scoffed and walked off, with tears streaming down her cheeks.

James then sat down, his head in his hands. I could hear him sniffing, but I didn't move to comfort him. I was just lost amongst all of this drama, and I had no idea what do about anything. I was in such an emotional turmoil that I felt like I was going to explode, so I simply sat there looking like a stunned mullet, waiting for my body to start working again so I could at least try to comprehend exactly what was going on here.

* * *

I walked into James house, the two of us walking around like sullen zombies. He had asked me if I wanted to come over for a drink. It was now early in the morning, around six am, but I didn't care. A drink sounded perfect at that moment.

The doctor said that Kendall would be well enough to be moved into police custody the next morning, Dr. Bennett wanting to keep him in for another night just to make sure that he was all healed.

I couldn't stay there any longer though.

Just being in that place made me feel like I was literally going to vomit.

So James had decided that we would go back tonight after resting up for a bit. We would go and see Kendall one last time, before he was moved into police custody. I just literally couldn't believe this was happening.

"James!" Carlos shouted, leaping into James' arms the moment we entered the house.

"Hey buddy," I could tell that James was trying to sound cherry as if nothing was wrong but he failed miserably.

"Jaime, what's wrong?" Carlos asked.

"Nothing's wrong kiddo, now how about you go and play with your toy's for a bit all right."

"Will you come and play with me?"

"Not at the moment bud. I have to have an adult talk with Logan, but I'll take you out later for maybe ice-cream. How does that sound?"

Carlos eagerly nodded but still slightly wearily before running up the stairs. It was only then that I noticed there was a teenage girl standing at the bottom of the stairs. She looked extremely worried.

"Sorry Jasmine," James sighed. "I just got caught up in some work stuff."

I realised that this must've been the baby sitter.

"Yeah I got kind of worried at around three in the morning because you hadn't showed up."

"And I'm sorry I didn't call you. It's just-I just-it's really complicated," James sort of explained.

"It's okay, but uh he's been up since five so he'll probably be tired later on in the day," James smiled.

"How much do I owe you," James paid the Jasmine, before she left, having her own car to drive home.

"God, this is such a mess," James muttered, before heading to the kitchen. He went into a cupboard getting out some form of liquor and pouring two glasses.

"You're telling me. What are we going to do James?" James sighed.

"It's all up to Kendall. If he wants to plead guilty then there is nothing we can do."

James gulped his drink down, whereas I took little sips. I had never been much of a drinker, but I could see that James probably drank when he was upset because he was already pouring himself another drink.

"I kind of feel like I failed him."

"James you didn't-"

"I know that, but it feels like I did. I'm his caseworker. I'm meant to be there for him, because he literally has no one else."

"I know, I feel like that to."

James poured his third drink and I drank down the last of my first.

"How do we go about this though."

That was when James' phone rung. He sighed before flipping it open.

"Hello..." I watched as James listened, my eyes scrunching together in confusion when James smiled.

"Seriously, that's great...Yeah totally...of course I will and Logan will to...Thanks John, I knew if anyone could do this it would be you...okay, bye, thanks again."

With that James hung up smiling.

"What happened."

Kendall agreeing to plead not guilty on terms of insanity. John thinks we can really win this one."

As James continued to smile, I feigned a smile to.

But deep down I wasn't sure if this was such a good thing.

* * *

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	16. The New And Old Kendall

**Okay, long time, I know. I'll skip the excuses and just get on with it.**

**I have actually decided that this is going to end up shorter than I originally planned. The story I mean! Next chapter is the last chapter *sobs in corner***

**It's going too be over much to soon.**

**And yay, 101 followers. Special shout out to everyone who followed last chapter:)**

**Anyway...**

**Zoo Boy**

**Chapter 16**

**The new and old Kendall**

**Thanks to **_Mrs. Henderson, SwagLikeErin, BigTimeRusher422,Violent Moon, Wow23, Cookie Monster Giggles, Miss Drama Mama, Ashley, EverlastingKL, Just Fetching, Kechiko, PerfectMirror14, kat4534, XxxAnimaniacxxX, itsjessyall, winterschild11, BreakFree, Erin G. Allen, Candid-Canoe, DianaMaslowx, lilygirl42001, Mr. President 64, GhostGirl51, ifthesesheetswerestates, Not Princess Leia, Correa Potter, Loganicous-fabuloius, casiev91, ticklemekendall, Epicreaderandwriter, aloangel96 and Kendialosis _**for all your lovely favs, alerts and reviews. Keep them coming!**

* * *

After failing Kendall, I felt like I had failed as a child psychologist. Here was a boy whom I had let out into the real world, thinking that it would all be okay. Yet here he was, in hospital after a suicide attempt, ready to face charges of murder in the first degree. How could I not think I had failed at my job, and not only that, but I had failed Kendall. He was in this place because of me. If I had simply taken the time to fill out his case notes properly, maybe things would have gone differently.

It was because of this, that I had made my decision.

"Logan, is there anyway I can talk you out of this?" I sat in front of my boss Mr Reynolds, after having decided that this job wasn't for me. I had come into this job on an absolute whim, but things hadn't worked out like had hoped.

"I'm sorry sir, but there isn't. You'd probably fire me anyway, after I tell you what has happened," and I told him. I told him how I had kept patient information out of the case files, and how it had led to all of this business with Kendall. He nodded his head, and by the end of it, he had agreed that perhaps it would be best if I left. I packed my things up from my office that day, leaving after sharing a tear-filled good-bye with Camille.

"But w-what are you g-going to do?" she asked me, using the tissue in her hand to dab at her eyes.

"I-I've always wanted to travel, maybe I'll take some time to do that whilst I think about what to do with my life. I could always go back to teaching-"

"You're not a teacher. You're a psychologist through and through. You're not anything else Logan. This is what your destined too be," I shook my head with a tear-filled smile.

"What about all your patients?"

"Mr Reynolds has re-assigned them all to other psychologists."

"But what about Kendall?"

"I'm going to go to his trial, and it's after that I'm leaving. Like I said, to do some travel. I'm still trying to decide where to go first."

"You can't leave Logan."

"I don't have a choice," I muttered, bringing Camille in for one last hug.

"Just be safe all right," I nodded into the crook of her shoulder, pulling back, knowing that I had to leave before I burst out in to tears. So I did, smiling at Camille before turning on my heel and leaving the clinic for once and for all.

* * *

I visited Kendall every day in the hospital. He was on a seventy-two hour psych evaluation, that being how long he had to stay in the hospital. That meant three days he was there, and each day I was with him. I wasn't sure why I did it, for I could barely stand to be around the new Kendall as I called him. He wasn't Zoo Boy, he wasn't Ken any more. He was the new dark, mentally unstable Kendall. But I couldn't not visit him. Besides James, I was all he had. I felt obligated in some way to stay by his side, for this was all my fault to begin with.

One conversation really struck me.

"Do you think what I did was wrong?" It felt strange for Kendall to ask me this, but I was going to be honest.

"Yeah I do."

"Even though he hurt me. You still think I'm a bad person."

"I don't think you're a bad person Kendall. I just think that you did a really bad thing."

Kendall looked really hurt by this, and that was when he refused to talk to me any more.

Sometimes it became too much, being in the hospital room alone with Kendall. Sometimes I fled the premises, knowing exactly what it was about this new version of this once innocent boy that had my skin crawling.

One day I was alone, in the hospital room with Kendall. He was sleeping, and he looked so absolutely peaceful. It made me smile, a half-crooked smile that I was once told I only war in the face of beauty. I reached out and grabbed his hand, running my thumb in circles over his bare knuckles. I began to remember all the times we had spent together, how Kendall had changed me. How I would give anything to go back to the way things were. Perhaps if I had simply visited him, just one measly visit, things would have been different. Maybe things would have turned out okay. Better than this at least.

I heard a groan sound, and I looked up to see Kendall's eyes fluttering open. I was now worried that this version of Kendall would simply disappear, only to be replaced with the psychotic version of him. I frowned as he smiled at me, wondering where this was going. He smiled back, and in turn I couldn't help myself from grinning up at him.

"H-How are y-you?" I asked.

"Fine," was all he said in reply.

I was glad that at least Kendall was acting like well...Kendall. It all reminded me of Ken, the man who I had fallen for so deeply.

I felt his fingers moving to interlace with mine, and it brought tears to my eyes.

"I have something I want to give you," my eyes widened in shock, not knowing what to say, but I let go of his hands as he moved to cipher through a bunch of napkins that lay on his bedside table. When he pulled a napkin out from underneath the others, he handed it to me. I wasn't quite sure why, but I took it in my hands before looking down, tears immediately threatening to spill down my cheeks. He had painted a picture. I was not sure how he had drawn it, but it looked like tea stains maybe.

"I asked for some tea, and a straw. The nurse thought I was strange for drinking tea with a straw, but I used the straw and the tea to paint this."

It of course wasn't a master piece but I could still see all the effort put into it. All of the well defined lines, and the portrayal the exact scene that I would never forget. It was Kendall and I, in the pool at my home. I was holding him, just holding him like he was the most fragile of people.

"It's beautiful Ken," I whispered, and I almost couldn't take it. I felt the need to leave well I could, but I stayed seated, breathing deeply in absolute admiration.

"Can I ask you something Logie?" Kendall questioned.

"O-Of course."

"Do you think I'm weak?" my eye-brows furrowed, not really sure what to make of what Kendall had asked me.

"I mean, because of what m-my, what he did to me. Do you think I'm weak because I didn't fight back, or I didn't hurt him sooner? Do you think that makes me weak?"

"No Kendall," I shook my head. "In no way does that make you weak. You were a child, a little kid."

I didn't understand the expression that crossed Kendall's face next, but I leant up without thinking gripping the side of his heads firmly as I stared deeply into his eyes.

"If anything, I think that you are so strong. To have had what happened to you, then to come out on the other side having been true to who you are. Having not done anything wrong after all the bad things that had happened to you. In my eyes that makes you strong. Before you did what you did, I considered you to be one of the strongest people I knew. It was what I admired most about you, that you could go through all of these bad things in life, and then keep fighting afterwards. What happened doesn't make you weak, it is he who is weak. Weak enough to hurt a child like that. He is weak Kendall, you are strong," I pressed forward, my lips only slightly touching his as our breath mingled together. It was brief, both of our tears mixing into the kiss, but it was a moment that remains unforgettable.

I couldn't take it any more. I pulled back, and I knew I had to leave. But as I did so, I heard him call out.

"W-Wait." I stopped in my tracks. I couldn't handle this, Kendall going back to the Ken I once knew, when later he could be like a completely different person. But I couldn't move from where I stood.

"I have something else to," I turned back around to see that he was holding a piece of paper that looked like it had been folded in a way to make it into an envelope.

"It's a letter, but you have to promise me something. You can't read it, until after I've gone to jail-"

"You might not go to jail-"

"Either way, you can't read it, until after the trial thingy, okay."

I nodded, taking the envelope into my hand.

"You have to promise, pinky swear," he held out his little finger, which I wrapped my own around.

"I promise," I whispered in return. I took the envelope stuffing it into my pocket, my eyes moving over Kendall one last time, before turned and left him behind in the hospital room, wondering if I will ever come back to see him again.

* * *

Kendall got taken into custody after his seventy-two hour psych hold. There John, worked with Kendall on how they were going to approach the upcoming trial. I went and saw him whilst he was being held, having to talk to him through a glass window. He barely spoke a word well we were doing this, but it was at least good to know that he was okay.

But the day of the trial was fast approaching and I didn't know how I was going to deal with this. I had decided that after the trial is when I would leave to travel, but now I was beginning to think this was a bad idea. I wanted to leave now, but something continued to keep me rooted to this place. That something was the thought of the Kendall I once knew.

I began to not be able to stand it, waiting around, wondering if Kendall was going to be free, or if he was going to jail. What was right and what was wrong.

When it all began, Kendall was denied bail. I sat and watched as the judge made his verdict, the thought of Kendall being locked up for another second eating away at me. After Kendall was taken away by the guards, a definite scared look crossing over his face, I met his eyes, and it made me want to just reach out and hug him. But before I could even get the chance to say anything he was being pushed into a room, the door slamming shut afterwards.

Both James and I went back to his place, opening up a bottle of vodka after the long day we had had. We couldn't drink much however, because Carlos was around. He was in the next room, playing with his toys.

"I can't believe they denied him bail," James muttered. He had been furious the entire ride home, barely even speaking a word to me. The music was really all that was making the card ride home bearable.

"I know," I replied. "Hey James," he looked up at me as I said his name. "Do you think Kendall will...do you think he'll go to jail."

His expression was grim and I just knew it could go either way. My head went into my hands, and tears began to slip past all my defences.

I heard the tiny patter of feet enter the room, so looked up to see Carlos staring at me with wide eyes.

"What's wrong?" he asked me. Before I knew what was happening, Carlos was climbing up into my lap and throwing his arms around my neck, pulling me into a hug. This only made me cry even more, because Carlos and my relationship still wasn't the greatest, but at least he was here, recognizing that I was upset and hugging me to make me feel better.

"It's okay Logie, don't cry," I wasn't sure where this had all come from, but I most certainly wasn't complaining as I clung onto him tighter. I heard the door bell ring amidst all of this, and I saw James stand but I didn't let go of Carlos. I wanted something to go back to as it had been, and perhaps a good relationship with Carlos would make everything okay; easier to deal with.

"Logan!" I heard James call for me. It sounded bad. I wish I wasn't right.

* * *

"What do you mean, it's best he pleads guilty?" James was outraged.

We sat together in front of John Sawyer, Kendall's lawyer.

"James you have to try to understand. They have offered Kendall a good plea bargain for a full confession. I talked with Kendall and he wants to do this as well. Think about this James. The plea bargain is twenty years less on his sentence. He'll be out in time to live a good and healthy life afterwards. If we lose, he'll probably rot in a prison cell-"

"So don't lose."

"I wish it was that easy James, but it's not. We don't have any hard, factual evidence supporting Kendall's case. There are no documented pictures of the abuse Kendall endured, and there are no witnesses to call on to be able to say in truth that Kendall was sincerely abused."

"But I'm a child psychologist. I worked abuse cases for years now. Surely my word will mean a lot in court," I tried, but John shook his head.

"You're a child psychologist who has been let go because of mis-conduct on the job. Not only did you keep information, that could have been relevant in helping Kendall today, but you also had romantic feelings for the defendant. A defendant who at the time was a minor might I add."

"H-How did you know-"

"I talked to your boss. I do my research Logan, and with what has happened, the prosecutor will eat you alive as a witness."

"Well what about Camille Roberts. She still works at the clinic-"James this time tried, but John again shakes his head.

"I've spoken to Miss Roberts, and she says she will testify on behalf of the fact that Kendall was abused as a child, but she also says she will be completely honest in terms of the fact she still thinks that what Kendall has done is wrong, and that he should be imprisoned for his crime. I don't believe she'll be any help to us."

"That bitch," James muttered.

"But what about all the medical records. They may not have documented pictures, but with how many times he was in and out of hospital-"

"Circumstantial. Each time Kendall was in the hospital a doctor was told a different story of how these injuries came about, and as the injuries are described, each story told is just as plausible as the next."

"But there must be something. He spent years in a state mental institution-"

"From which he was released from in good health and mental state. Look, Kendall was abused as a child. He was taken away when he was nine years old. He is now nineteen giving him ten years without abuse to get over what has happened to him. He sought out his step-father. He went to his step-father with the intent to kill him. It was all pre-mediated. what I am saying here is that I will go to trial and defend Kendall on terms of temporary insanity, and if we a jury who are sympathetic to Kendall's case we may even get off, but with what the prosecutor is offering, I think it's a small price to pay compared to what will happen if we lose."

I had never really thought what would happen if Kendall went to jail. I had of course known it was a possibility but I didn't really think it would happen. Not like this. But now with what is being said, I feel my heart deflating as every moment passes by.

"Ultimately it's Kendall's decision, so I'll leave it up to him. I just thought you should know what we're deliberating," and with that John picked up his brief case and left with a sorrow filled good bye.

I couldn't believe this was happening at the time. I refused to. But two days later when I heard the news that Kendall was going to plead guilty, I had no other option than to accept the truth.

Kendall was going to jail, and it was all my fault.

* * *

I sat on the plane, looking out the window wondering how Kendall trial was going. This morning I had gotten up, my suit and tie waiting laid out across my desk chair. I was going to his trial, but as I showered I knew I couldn't. I just couldn't do it. It would kill me to see Kendall get taken away, knowing that if I wasn't such an idiot in the first place things could have gone in such a different direction.

So I grabbed my bags which were already packed, as I planned to leave the next day after the trial so I could at least say good bye to Kendall before he went, and I went to the airport. I was lucky to find a flight that left in thirty minutes time so I brought a second ticket to Australia, which is where I had decided to travel first, trading in my other tickets as well.

I could feel my phone vibrating in my pocket, knowing it was James wondering where I was, so I simply turned it off and sat in wait. As I was waiting though, I remembered something in the back of my mind. Kendall's letter. I had looked at it this morning, and wondered if I should just read it. But I had made a promise, so I had packed with my belongings with intent of reading it when I got to Australia. But I was rather curious. I reached into my bad, pulling out the crumpled, folded envelope. As I was about to open it I heard the flight attendant calling out my flight number, so I stuck it in my pocket deciding I would read it on the plane.

As I sat down inside the plane, my mind forgot about the letter. It was as the doors were being sealed that I moved around in my seat to get comfortable, hearing the paper rustle in my pocket. I reached in and grabbed the letter, remembering it all of a sudden. I opened the paper envelope and I began to read:

_Dear Logie,_

_I don't want to be weak. I want to be strong. When I was living with all those other people, at that house they would always make fun of me. I pretended to be okay, but I wasn't. I wished you had come and visited me. Maybe things would have been okay if you did. They used to pick on and make me cry, and tell me that I was weak when I did. They said no one will ever like someone who is a pussy like me. And I want people to like me. I want you to like me. I don't want to be weak._

_I am weak. That is what my father told me when I lowered the gun from his head. He told me to do it. He told me to grow some balls and shoot him. But I couldn't, and he told me that I was weak. He grabbed the gun out of my hand, and threw it across the room. He did stuff to me Logie, stuff that I don't ever want to tell anyone, not even you. He kept telling me, that I had my chance, but I was to weak, to much of a pussy to do it. I am weak._

_When he was finished, I was done to. I was done living, because I was to weak and I didn't want to be weak. I wanted to be strong, but I'm not strong. He left me there like I was nothing. He just left like he hadn't done anything wrong. That's why I was done living. So I wanted to kill myself. Because I was nothing. Before I passed out, I heard a gun shot. I pulled myself to the other room and I saw one of the other kids holding the gun. I knew that he had done stuff to them to. But there was something different about this one. He looked like he had suffered. Really suffered Logie. And then I saw him, lying there dead. I told the kid that it was going to be okay. That I would be strong for him. _

_I told everyone that I did it, I acted like I did it for two reasons. The first was, that little boy deserved to be normal. I didn't want people to know what he did. I didn't want him to end up like me. But the second and most important was that I didn't want anyone to think I was weak. I didn't want you to think I was weak. I thought that lying would make me seem strong at least. But I still felt weak. I don't want to be weak Logie._

_I'm writing this because I want someone to know. Not just someone...you. Because you think what I did was bad, and I don't want you to think I'm bad. I wanted you to think I was strong, but you already did, and now you think I'm strong, I don't want you to think I'm bad._

_I'm sorry._

_Kenny_

My head was spinning. Kendall letter was really just a jumble of words, his train of thought not particularly making sense. But at that point it didn't matter. Kendall was innocent. And I couldn't let him go to jail for this.

I stood up making my way down the aisle.

"Sir I need you to take your seat. The plane is about to take off."

"No I need to get off."

"I'm sorry sir, but you need to take your seat."

"No I need to get off this plane!"

I tried to push past the flight attendant, but I could feel the plane engine rumbling.

"No," I gasped.

"I'm sorry sir, but we can't let anyone off the plane now. I need you to take your seat."

I felt numb as I walked back to my seat, barely processing that I was actually sitting down. It was all too much to think about all at once.

Kendall was innocent, but he was going to go to jail

If only I hadn't kept my promise and read the letter sooner.

* * *

**Before I say anything else, I want to say this:**

**In my other story that involved this sort of story line, people got really upset by the fact that a character was put in jail after what they had been through. I got some reviews and I ended up changing the ending. **

**I haven't fully decided whether Kendall will go to jail or not, but I am not changing how thing end up playing out. And if you guys don't like it, then you know you don't like it. I can't do anything about that. But I really hope you guys continue to read, because this has been an amazing journey for me, and people really seem to like this story and I would hate to see people begin to dislike it because of what happens or won't happens. Again I don't know yet.**

**But yeah, please continue to read and leave amazing reviews.**

**I do understand if you don't though.**

**Anyways,**

**So I got this idea off watching an episode of SVU. A mother and son both said they were guilty of murder, and because they couldn't prove which one did it they both got off scott free. I don't know it was really quite strange in my opinion, but this is kind of where this came from. **

**Kendall's letter is kind of a fucked up way of thinking right. Thinking that he had to lie to make himself seem strong. I don't know where that came from, but Kendall had good intentions. He wanted to protect the other little boy, and make himself seem like he was strong so Logan would like him. Fucked up right!**

**Anyway, yes next chapter is the last chapter *cries* **

**It's going to wrap everything up.**

**I hope that you liked this.**

_Question: I have been deliberating, and I want people's opinion on this so please answer. Should there be smut next chapter? Will it ruin the intergrity of the story? (Please note there will be a time skip, so it's not as if this is happening stright up)_

**Love it? Hate it? Review it?**

**Yours Sincerely**

_WindowsDown22_


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